A lesson on unicorns

Hannah LOVES prep.  When she’s not at prep, she wants to play prep.  First we dress all of her dolls, then we sit them down together somewhere in her room, and then she pretends to be the teacher.

Yesterday, she taught them about unicorns:

“I’m going to tell you about unicorns.  Unicorns are real.  They are pink with white horns,” she told her class of dollies confidently as she held up a plush example.

“They eat lettuce and butterflies.”  At this point, I made sure my giggles were well stifled.  She was doing such a good job of thinking on the fly, projecting her voice, and speaking confidently, but I wasn’t expecting her to say they eat butterflies.

“When unicorns see other unicorns,” she continued, “they bite their tails.”

“That’s all we know about unicorns.”

Thanks Hannah, now we all know a little bit more about unicorns.

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Copyright 2014 Sheri Thomson

Mommy tells lies

Hannah:

I’m so excited.  Mommy has been telling me all week that we’re going with Aunty Jess to IKEA to get a brand new big-girl bed!  My friend in the U.S. has a big girl bed, and she can get in and out of her bed whenever she wants.  No big high bars to stop her from climbing out.

Mommy told me I was supposed to sleep on the way, but I was way too excited!  How could I sleep!  Sorry Mommy, no sleeping here.  “Go to IKEA, Hannah get a big girl bed!”  I told her instead.

When we finally got there, Mommy and Aunty Jess took ages to finally get to the children’s section.  There was fun stuff EVERYWHERE!  I saw a big chalkboard, a play kitchen, lots of play dishes, wooden toys, stuffed toys, tables and chairs.  I really liked the play kitchen.  It had a sink, an oven, a microwave, a cupboard, and even burners!  I could do a lot of cooking with that!

Mommy showed me the beds.  She really liked the one with the sheep on it, but I didn’t like that one.  After climbing all over the beds, and bouncing a little, I decided that  I liked the pretty girly day bed one best.

“She has good taste.” Aunty Jess told Mommy.  Turns out Mommy liked the sheep one better because it was cheaper.  She said we were going to get the sheep one anyway.  Humph.  Why do you ask me which one I like if you’re not going to get me the one I want?

After much more shopping, and getting through the IKEA maze, and me getting cranky because I was so tired, we got to this funny place with really big high shelves full of boxes.  Mommy went to the bed section to get my new bed.

“They’re all out.” Mommy told me.  “I guess we’ll have to get the one you liked best sweetie.”

Yay!

Aunty Jess lifted the boxes onto the really big trolley.  Mommy says she can’t lift things right now.  Mommy used to lift things, so I’m not sure why she can’t anymore.  Maybe Baby Brother doesn’t like it.  “That’s what I’m here for.”  Aunty Jess said.

“Daddy put together Hannah’s new bed!”  I asked when I got home.  Daddy was telling Mommy that he didn’t think there would be time to put it together, but I know how to get Daddy to do what I want, so he went to get his tool box as soon as I asked.  I love Daddy!

I got to help Daddy put it together with all of his different screwdrivers and wrenches.  Daddy calls them spanners, but Mommy calls them wrenches.  I don’t know what to call them.  Maybe I’ll just point and say “that” when I want to use one.

My new bed is so pretty!

Putting things in my new bed

I didn’t want to sleep without all of my toys, so I started putting them in the bed.

“No sweetie, it’s not finished yet.  We have to put the mattress on still.”  Mommy told me.

“I’m not sure how this is going to work.”  I heard Mommy tell Daddy.  Uh-Oh, that didn’t sound good.

Daddy put the mattress on, but it fell off on both ends.  How could I sleep on that?  I’d lay down and end up falling head first under the mattress!  Daddy turned the page in his how to make it book.  His face looked funny.

“Is there anything left in the box?”  he asked Mommy “there are supposed to be slats.”

Mommy looked through all the boxes, but she couldn’t find anything.  I kept putting my toys in the bed.  I didn’t want to be without them my first night in my new big girl bed!

“I’ll look it up.”  Mommy said.

“Oh.  I was supposed to get the slats separately.  They are included in the price, but the website says I’m supposed to get them separately.”

“I’m sorry sweetie, you can’t sleep in your big girl bed tonight, Mommy forgot to get some of the parts.”

Don’t be silly Mommy.  I kept putting toys in.

“Sweetie, you can’t sleep there tonight, I’m really sorry, but I forgot to get some of the pieces.”

“Hannah’s bed.”  I said.  I was really sad.  Mommy told me I’d be sleeping in my new bed, but now I wasn’t allowed to.  Daddy put

moving my toys from my new bed to my portable cot

up my portable cot.  Mommy told me I’d have to sleep there and then we’d go to IKEA again tomorrow to get the missing pieces.  Fine.  I put all the toys from my new bed into the portable cot.

This morning, we went back to IKEA.  I was really excited, but it took us so long to get there!  Mommy said people forget how to drive when it rains.  Lots of cars were in the ditch and all the other cars were barely moving.  I’m glad Grandma was in the back with me to keep me entertained.

Mommy took me to Target to get some new sheets for my bed.  I really wanted Minnie and Mickey Mouse sheets, but they didn’t have any.  Mommy showed me some other sheets and I picked the pink polka dot ones.  I didn’t really like them any better than the others, I just like to say polka dots!  Polka dots!  Then we saw some Minnie Mouse sheets in another shop, but Mommy said they cost too much and I couldn’t get them.

“Who would pay $95 for a set of children’s sheets?!”  She said to Grandma.  I don’t know how much 95 dollars is, but it sounds like a lot.

When we got home, Mommy put the slats on the bed and I helped her put my new sheets on.  I put all of my favourite toys and

putting my toys in my bed

blankets on the bed too!  Mommy wanted me to sit in the bed while she read me a story, but that’s no fun!  I can get in and out of the bed all by myself!  As if I was going to just sit there in bed when I could be getting in and out and playing!  Silly Mommy….

Ready for my nap!

Mommy laid me down, tucked me in, turned on my sleepy music and then shut the door.  Ha!  I wasn’t going to stay in bed!  I played for my whole nap!  I pulled all the clothes out of my closet, got all the dirty clothes out of the hamper, took my sleepy suit and pajamas off, and played dress ups!  I even got to play with the baby monitor!  I can turn the music off and on whenever I want!

Nope, I didn’t sleep at all.  But then I started getting cold.  And I pooped.

“Mommy cuddles!!!”  I yelled.  Mommy ignored me.  Usually when I start getting cranky, it means I’m going to sleep.  But I wasn’t.  I was standing up at the door waiting for mommy to come in and dress me and change my nappy.  I had to take it to the next level.  I screamed and cried and screamed some more until Mommy came in. Don’t worry, I’ll have plenty of time to sleep in my big girl bed tonight.  I love my new bed!

I made a mess in my room and took my clothes off. I didn't sleep...

UPDATE:

Mommy read me a story while I laid in bed.  As soon as she left, I fell asleep in my brand new big girl bed!  But in the middle of the night I started coughing.  I’ve had this cold that everyone has for a while, and sometimes the coughing wakes me up.  Usually when I wake up I’m in my cot.  I was a bit scared, I was all by myself in a big bed. The coughing was starting to gag me.  I yelled for Mommy and she came.  She picked me up and cuddled me and told me it would be ok.

Then YaYa came in and the dogs ran all around my room.  Oh, play time!  “Hannah go outside!”  I said to Mommy.  Mommy told YaYa to go away and yelled at the dogs to get out of my room.  I was wide awake now.  Humph, I thought I’d get to get up and play.  Mommy held me while I finished all my coughing and then laid in bed with me until I fell asleep.

But then I woke up coughing a while later and I was all alone in my bed again.  I called out to Mommy and she came and got into bed with me.  Mommy stayed with me for a long time, and I went back to sleep.  I woke up coughing a few more times after that, but I wasn’t scared anymore.  If Mommy isn’t scared of my new bed, then I shouldn’t be either.

I just hope Mommy isn’t too tired today.  She gets grumpy when she’s tired.

 

Hannah’s guide to being cheeky

1. Throw all of your food on the floor and then say DONE! and/or GONE! while giving Mommy a cheeky but innocent look.

2. After Mommy takes off your poopy nappy, flail your feet and bottom around and watch Mommy get increasingly frustrated as she dodges your pooey bottom and tries her hardest not to get poo all over herself.  Increase giggles as Mommy gets more frustrated.

3. Sip water out of your cup but instead of swallowing it, spit it back out, all over yourself, so Mommy has to change your clothes (she could just leave you all wet, but if she’s like my Mommy, she wouldn’t do that to you while it’s still cold out).

4. Bite Daddy’s nose.  Make sure you get the inside of Daddy’s nose.  Giggle, giggle, giggle.

5. While Mommy is folding laundry, innocently walk into her room, then quickly grab a stack of clothes and run off.

6. Open your closet/dresser, whatever you have, and throw all of your clothes around your room.

7. As soon as Mommy or Daddy puts your shoes on, run away, sit down somewhere, and then take them off.  If you’re feeling really mischievous, hide one or both shoes.

8. Unzip Mommy’s purse (I wonder why Daddy’s don’t have purses.  They seem so convenient.  Where do Daddy’s put all of their Daddy things?) and pull all of its contents out.  Make sure you open the wallet (I use my teeth, it’s far easier) and take out all of Mommy’s cards.  Just for a bit more fun, grab something that Mommy really needs from the purse and run off giggling.

9. Open the pantry and take out the tupperware of spaghetti.  Open the tupperware, dump out all of the spaghetti, then walk all over it so it breaks in little pieces.  Pick up some of the pieces and deposit them all around the kitchen.  Don’t try to eat them, they don’t taste very nice when they’re not cooked (I know from experience).

10. Point to Mommy’s chest and say “Booby.”  Hahaha.

11. Pull Mommy’s shirt up and try to steal the shiny sparkle-y thing that she keeps in her belly button.  I Haven’t been successful in the quest so far.  Maybe one day I’ll be able to get the shiny thing.

12.  Pull down Mommy’s shirt and try to take the spot off of her (she calls it a mole.  “Hannah, Mommy likes her mole there, don’t try to take it off…”).  I scratch, pinch, and sometimes use a combination of both.

13. Make sure Mommy or Daddy or Grandma is watching, and then go touch the garbage bin.  Keep touching it and give them a cheeky grin (because you know you’re not supposed to touch it, and they know that you know).

14. When you play outside, find a puddle, run straight into it, then jump up and down.  Make sure you get your shoes soaking wet, all the way through your socks, and preferably up your pant legs as well.  I also recommend sitting down in the puddle and slapping it with your hands.

15. When you are having a bath, stand up and run around so Mommy can’t get a hold of you to wash your face and hair (I hate having my face and hair washed!).  Laying on your belly and kicking your feet in the water, making lots of splashes is great too.

16. Say “Daddy!” and when Daddy looks at you, flick the straw of your cup so water hits Daddy in the face.  Laugh heartily when Daddy says “Hey, you got Daddy in the eye,” and then do it again.

17. Run into your room and then when Daddy tries to follow you, shut the door.  When he opens it, giggle, giggle, giggle, then close it on him again.  Repeat as desired.

18. Spill something on the floor (or find something that is already there).  Put your index finger in the  middle of the spill and then move it around.  Try to make the spill spot as big as possible.

Why isn’t it purple?

Hannah:

I don’t know who was more excited, me or Mommy.  Mommy had been telling me for days that her and Daddy were taking me to the Penrith show.  I think Mommy likes shows (although she calls them fairs because “she is American”).  Mommy said that I’d get to see lots of animals.  I do like animals.  I see lots of animals in my books every day.  Oh, and on my toys.  Some of my toys are animals.

As soon as we got to the show, Mommy got really, really excited.  I think she even jumped up and down a little.  She was tugging on Daddy’s shirt, saying there were pony rides.

“Isn’t she too young for  pony rides?” Dad asked.

“NO!” Mommy declared.  Mommy said she started riding horses when she was way younger than me.

I didn’t know how I’d possibly ride a pony.  Aren’t  ponies really small?  My toy ponies are way smaller than me.  Maybe the ponies were going to ride me.

“Look, there’s a pony!” Mommy and Daddy said.  I looked where they were pointing.  Wow, ponies are really big!  Daddy put me in the saddle and I held on while Daddy walked next to me and Mommy hid behind her camera taking endless photos.  Riding is really fun!  We only got to go in a little circle though, so I got bored after a little while.  I really like ponies!

I got to see a cow too!  It was laying down and the nice man let me go in it’s playpen and pat it.  I was a bit scared of all the animals at first.  They make really loud, funny noises.  Mommy and Daddy always tell me that a cow says “Moo” and a duck says “quack” and a sheep says “baa,” but they don’t sound anything like that!  I think Mommy and Daddy need to practise their animal noises.  I soon got used to their actual noises and then I wasn’t shy with them anymore.

The show even had a petting zoo!  Daddy got me out of my pram and took me inside the animal playpen.  There were goats and chickens and a baby pig and even a pen full of piggies (guinea pigs, Mommy and Daddy call them piggies)!  Oh, and there were a couple of puppies too!  I like puppies.

Someone gave me a carrot and the goats all wanted some.  I was the most popular little girl in the playpen (when I had a carrot)!  I got to feed and pat all of the goats!  It was so much fun!  I was having so much fun that I didn’t even realise someone stole my balloon while I was in the petting zoo.  It’s not very nice to steal someone’s balloon 😦 .

There is one thing that I don’t understand about the animals though.  Why aren’t they purple?  Or pink?  Or even yellow, or blue or green?  All of my toy animals are brightly coloured.  I have a blue sheep, a pink and purple pony, a green koala.  Maybe they only wear their special colourful fur when they go to weddings or parties.  Yeah, I suppose that’s it.  I only wear my really nice clothes when I go to a wedding or something like that.  I bet their mommies don’t want them to get their nice furs dirty wearing them everyday.  I know my mommy doesn’t want me to get my nice clothes dirty all the time.

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No thanks, I’ll just eat my coat

Sometimes it’s very hard to get Hannah to eat her dinner.  I cook up something nice, just for her, put it in front of her, give her a spoon (not that she uses it for eating, but she likes to think she can), and hope for the best.  She gives me a cheeky cheeky look, and then feeds the floor.  I’m no expert on floors, but I’m pretty sure they don’t require nutrition to function properly.  A big wave of the arm and the entire meal, bowl and all, lands open side down, all over the floor.  Whinging follows, along with loud screams of “DONE!”  I don’t know how she’s done when she didn’t eat anything, but whatever.

She won’t eat her food, but I often find her pulling pieces of fuzz (pils?) off her clothes, blankets, toys, whatever really, and then eating them.  Not just chewing, having a little taste and spitting them out.  No, she will sit there and pull them off, put them in her mouth, chew, swallow, and then go back for more.  I don’t know why a fuzz ball tastes better than her dinner, but to her, it certainly seems to.

Hannah:

Mommy tries.  She really does.  Mommy makes me all sorts of different things for lunch and dinner (I like my cereal for breakfast, especially now that she gives me big person cereal with yummy raisins in it).  Sometimes I’m just not hungry, you know?  I get lots of snacks too.  Mommy always gives me raisins, rusks, yogurt, baby breakfast bars, cheese.  I really like those things, so I’m not really hungry later.  It’s really fun to throw things on the floor though.  I like to wind Mommy up.  Plus, it’s fun to see which way the bowl lands and if the food splats.  Sometimes I wonder if I can get pieces of food all the way into my playroom!

When Mommy puts my fuzzy coat on, I can’t help but wonder what it tastes like.  What does pink taste like?  It doesn’t taste like much, but I like the way the fuzzy feels on my gums.  It’s already in my mouth, so I might as well swallow it.  Pulling fuzzies off my coat is something to do really.  I usually only do it when I’m in my car seat or pram.  It amuses me.  But then I eat too many fuzzies and I’m not hungry for my dinner.  Humph.  I guess I’ll have to eat more for breakfast.

Am I a Jedi?

Use the force you must

Hannah:

Am I a Jedi?  I’m not really sure what a Jedi is, but Mommy and Daddy often say that I must be a Jedi.  Sometimes (okay, most of the time) I stretch out my hand and reach as far as I can.  Mommy and/or Daddy look at me.  I look at them, then to the object of my desire, then back to Mommy and/or Daddy.  One of them stands up.  I start saying the name of what I want, but all that comes out is “eh, eh, eh.” because I am a baby.   Mommy gets closer to what I want.  I get louder.  Yay, Mommy grabs what I wanted and brings it back to me.  I smile and show them all my teeth because I know Mommy and Daddy really like it when I do that.

“You must be a Jedi,” Daddy says “you reach out your hand and bang, the object you want is there.”

I don’t know what a Jedi is, but if it means pointing at something and then getting it, then yeah, I’m a Jedi.

Yesterday (in photos)

Hannah:

I had fun yesterday!  Here are some photos of my day.  Mommy says the camera is being silly (she was using the point and shoot instead of the big one because she says the big one takes too long for the flash to warm up between photos), so they’re not the best photos, but they still tell my story.  *waves* Bye bye!!

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Mommy took me to the park!

Hannah:

I was SO bored in the house today.  I’ve played with my toys so many times.  BORING!  Mommy used to take me places to play with other babies, but she hasn’t for a while, something about school holidays, and she’ll take me soon.  I don’t know, but I’m so bored at home!  So, Mommy took me to the park!!  I love the park.  The ground is really funny at the park.  I can pick it, drop it, lay in it in make angels, push it around, etc.  Why isn’t the ground at my house like that?  I also really like the swing, but there was a boy on it the whole time we were there, so I couldn’t go on it.  I really like the park.  I saw another baby, maybe a bit older then me there, but her Daddy wouldn’t let her play with me because she kept trying to poke me in the eye.  That’s ok, I like to poke people in the eye too.  It’s just what we babies do.  It’s like doggies, they always sniff eachother bottoms when they meet.  Well, we poke eachother when we meet.  Maybe Mommy will take me to the park again tomorrow!  I really like it at the park.  Here are some photos.  Bye bye *waves*!!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNAH!!!!!!!!!!

The poo incident

Hannah:
Mommy has been trying to teach me to clap. Ok, I should say trying to get me to clap because I learned how to a while ago. I just haven’t had anything so good that I needed to pull out my new clapping trick for. Until today that is.

Sheri:
I have been trying to find a good pair of black shoes for a while now. Well, I found lots of them, but finding them in my size is another story. Needless to say, Hannah has been bored out of her mind in the stroller for a couple of shopping trips now. Today I finally found a good cute little pair of black flats that actually fit me. They even have some sparkles on them! Just as I picked them up after trying them on, Hannah clapped! I got so excited that I dropped everything right there in the middle of the aisle and loudly said “Yay!!!” while wildly clapping myself. I’m sure I looked a little looney to everyone around, but I don’t care, my baby clapped and I was going to encourage her no matter what.

Hannah:
Mommy had been trying on shoe after shoe while I sat there, watching, bored bored bored in my pram. “This is the one Bubba, it’s cute and it actually fits!” Hallelujah to that Mommy, let the boredom end! Now that was a reason to clap!
“oh, these ones are cute too,” Mommy reached for another shoe. NOOOOOO!! In my disgust, I cried. And you know what? Mommy didn’t try on any more shoes.

Sheri:
Every Saturday I get to sleep in. Aaron gets up at 7ish when Hannah wakes up, changes her nappy, gets her dressed, and then plays with her until 8, when I get up and feed her. I love my Saturday morning sleep ins, and look forward to them every week as only a sleep deprived first time mom can. Then on Sundays, Aaron gets to sleep in while I get up at 7ish when Hannah wakes up. Good deal I think. This Saturday, however, something disrupted my little much needed sleep in.
“Boo!!!” I heard Aaron calling me from Hannah’s room. Hmmm…Should I pretend to be asleep? It is my sleep in morning after all.
“Boo!!!”
“What?” It must be urgent, he knows I love my sleep in. I got up.
It was the smell that hit me first. I always know when Hannah has done a poo, but usually the smell seems to be a little contained at least. This time it seemed to be everywhere, seeping into my nostrils from all directions.
“I need some help.” Aaron said. I looked down. There she was, stark naked, Aaron holding her armpits so she could stand up. I looked down further. I wonder if my face gave away my surprise, horror, bewilderment, and ultimately the sense of ewwwww that I felt right at that moment. She was wearing a nappy when I put her to bed. Unfortunately, she seems to have found a way to take it off. I have no idea how, she was wearing a sleeping bag after all. I guess she wanted both Daddy and Mommy to pay her some attention that morning. Did I mention she always does a poo when she wakes up? Hannah’s feet were COVERED in poo. Aaron called her “Poo Shoes.” Next to her little cheeky feet was the nappy, freely sitting at the bottom of her sleeping bag. All over her sleeping bag…poo. Everywhere. Yes, this was definitely a 2 person clean up job. I had a look at her bed and sure enough, a little turd and it’s poopstreak friend sat there, patiently waiting to be cleaned up. I had only put those sheets on the day before! When we got her new pink soft sleeping bag for $20 at Target, I thought the slit in the front and back so you could put them in their sleeping bag and then strap them into the pram or car seat or what have you, was a fantastic idea. Now, not so sure. Safety belt slits are apparently good de-nappying and poo escaping holes.

Hannah – other stuff this week:
We went to Grandma’s house on the weekend, and I got to play with the little walker thing that Grandma bought for me. It was so much fun! It has 4 wheels and a handle so I can stand up, hold on, and then walk, walk walk! Mommy sat at one end of the hallway, and Daddy on the other. I couldn’t figure out how to turn the walker around, so I would walk down the hallway, then Mommy or Daddy would turn me around and I’d walk back the other way. I wish I had one of those at home!
One day I was in the bath, and I grabbed the side of the bath and stood up. “oh, there’s a boat,” I thought. I grabbed it, held it in both hands, and put it in my mouth. I always have to see if something is edible. Of course, Mommy tells me that lots of things I think taste perfectly fine aren’t for eating. Like the other day. I found a nice looking hair ball under the tv stand and put it in my mouth. Mommy said it wasn’t edible and pulled it out of my mouth, but I got to eat some of it. Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, so I had the boat and was trying to eat it when Mommy said “What a clever girl, you’re standing all by yourself!!!” Oh, wow, I really was. But then I realised and couldn’t balance anymore and sat down. I can stand for about 5 seconds now all by myself!! Mommy and Daddy get so excited when I do, so I’m going to try really hard to stand longer.
My mouth really hurts. I try to sleep like a good girl, but it’s really hard because my gums are so sore. My top tooth is trying to grow, but it’s being really mean to me and taking a long, painful time. I have a cold too, so I keep coughing and waking myself up. I don’t like teeth.