“What’s this Mommy?”

Last week it was really hot.  Like 35 degrees (95f).  And humid. Ick.  Did I mention we don’t have any airconditioning?  Anyway, the kids and I were disgustingly hot and sticky, so we got the pedestal fan out of Aaron and my bedroom and planted it in the playroom (aka the living room…).  I stripped Daniel down to his nappy and Hannah went one step further, choosing to be completely starkers.  We laid on the living room floor, arms out wide, relishing the kinda cool air from the fan.

A little while later, Hannah held something up. It was small, about the size of a pinky fingernail. And dark.

“What’s this Mommy?” She asked me, inspecting it.

She didn’t really let me answer. “It’s a poo nugget,” she stated.

I laughed.  How could I not laugh? “It’s not a poo nugget sweetie!  Maybe it’s a raisin?”

I went over to investigate anyway.  I didn’t want her eating random raisins off the floor.

Then I saw it.  Next to her foot there was indeed a poo nugget. It must have fallen off the tiny piece in her hand when she picked it up. Oh my gosh, my daughter was holding up a piece of poo.  In her hand. EEEEEWWWWWW!

“Oh, it is a poo nugget!”

I got some toilet paper from the bathroom and picked up the nugget and the disgusting nuggety fragment from her grubby little hand and flushed it down the toilet, washing our hands vigorously afterwards.

A bit later she was next to the couch.”Oh, there’s another poo nugget.” She told me.

I didn’t doubt her for a second this time.  I looked all around, but all I found was a piece of fluff.

“Do you mean this?”  I asked her.

“Yeah, it’s a poo nugget.”

Thank goodness it wasn’t.  I threw the fluff away.

The next day I was sitting on the couch.  Something icky kept filling my nose.  Something poopy.  I sniffed around like a dog on the scent of a rabbit.  I got down on all fours, nose to the ground and moved forward toward the scent as it got stronger.  Finally I came to the edge of the couch.  The smell was strong there.  I looked all around, but couldn’t see anything.  It didn’t help that our carpet is a disgusting 80s brown, shaggy thing.

But there it was, under the couch.  Under the couch?  How in the world does a poo nugget get under the couch?  I’m not sure I want to know.  But I was in the playroom/living room with them when Hannah had her nappy off, and I certainly didn’t see her pooping.  Nor did I see her putting anything under the couch.  Not to mention that poo nugget was about 10 feet away from the other poo nugget.  WTF? I’m not sure I want to know….

On the plus side, ever since that day, Hannah wants to wear underpants. But, she doesn’t actually want to sit on the potty, so I’ve been spending a lot of time with a towel and the carpet cleaner.  Sigh.

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Oh my gosh, ICK!

Potty training is not going well.  Hannah refuses to sit on the potty, or even wear her underwear.  So, I’ve decided to not make a big deal of it and train her when she thinks she’s ready.  In the mean time, I’ve been doing some pre-training things.  Fine, one thing.  I’ll work on the rest later….

Hannah used to be petrified of her poop.  The first time I tried to potty train her months and months ago, she pooped in the potty on the very first try.  But then she looked at it.  She’d never seen poop before.  The thought to show her her poop had never crossed my mind.  She freaked out.  It was like that poop turned into some sort of evil, crazy, I’m-gonna-eat-you poo monster.  She didn’t want to sit on the potty after that.

I started showing her her poop.  Now she wants to see it every single time.  So I upped the ante.  I started taking her to the bathroom and dumping the poo out of her nappy in to the toilet.  Then I shut the lid and flush.

All was going well until it happened.

I opened the lid, dumped the nappy contents….

Plop.  Splash.  Oh.  My.  Gosh. A drop of toilet water attacked me.  It came right out of that poo-laden potty and hit me.  In the face.  Right next to my mouth.  EW!!!!!!!!

2 weeks

Hannah is very regular.  She poops every day.  Usually.  Mostly.  But she didn’t poop today.

“Where is your poo-poo today?”  I asked her as I changed her nappy.

“In my bottom.”  Fair enough.

“When are you going to do a poo-poo?”

Without hesitation, she told me  “In two weeks.”

“Two weeks? I think if you don’t poo for two weeks, your tummy will be pretty sore.”

“One week.” She said matter-of-factly.

She’s so funny!

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How to scare a 2 year old

Hannah loves Daniel.  She constantly wants to cuddle and kiss and hold him.  When he’s hungry, she wants to go and get him food.  She is forever coming up to the couch when I’m feeding him, holding out her hands, and saying “Come here baby Daniel, give me a cuddle.”  But she does it in that goochy-goochy-goo-I’m-like-100-and-I’m-going-to-pinch-your-cheeks old-lady voice.  It’s really cute, but also really hard not to laugh at.

During one of these episodes, I laid Daniel on the couch and let Hannah give him a little cuddle.

PPPPPFFFFTTTTT!!!  Daniel did the loudest, wettest, longest poo you can possibly imagine.

Hannah’s face instantly turned from happy/goochy-goochy-goo, to frightened.  She actually jumped a little.  She looked at me for reassurance, and quickly backed away from Daniel, her eyes wide as saucers.

“It’s ok Hannah,” I told her “Daniel just did a poo poo, that’s all.”  She didn’t look convinced.  Nor did she want anymore Daniel cuddles that day.

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There’s poo on it

Aaron took Hannah to an indoor play place the other day.  Hannah loves these play places, as you may remember from this post/video.

She was playing in the ball bit, happily climbing about, tossing balls around, when she came upon a dented ball.

(c) Sheri Thomson 2011

She pulled it out and held it up to Daddy, looking at him all serious-like.  “I need to go wash it.”  She told him.  She was, of course, talking about putting it in the pretend washing machine they had there. “It has poo on it.” She declared.

(c) Sheri Thomson 2011

And off she went, to put the ball in the washing machine.

(c) Sheri Thomson 2011

Note: the ball did not actually have poo on it.  Just so you know….

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There’s poo on my thumb

She looks innocent, but what is lurking in her nappy?

Hannah used to tell me when she’d done a poo.  Ok, by tell, I mean she would cry and whinge.  Now, she doesn’t seem to care until it’s been there so long it starts to give her a rash and her bottom hurts.  That of course doesn’t happen often, as the smell usually tips me off.  Sometimes though, the smell is contained within her britches, not piercing the outside world, not alarming me (or anyone else) to the chaos that has happened inside her nappy.  So now, I check her nappy frequently, just in case.  I don’t want her to have a sore, red, raw, rashy bottom that makes her scream when I try to get the poo off.

After bible study today, I picked Hannah up from the creche.  She loves the creche.  Anyway, as a last minute thought, I decided to check her nappy on the off chance she’d done one of those smell-stays-in-her-nappy poos so she wouldn’t have to ride in the car with it all the way home.  My usual nappy checking method consists of me preventing her from running away with one hand, while pulling the nappy open at the top in the back, so I can peek in, with the other.  Sure, I could hold her up and sniff her bottom, but that makes me feel a little bit too much like a dog.  Not to mention sometimes there is smell (since she farts all the time), but no poo.

“How is your bottom Bubba?”  I should have asked her if she did a poo poo.  Sometimes she will tell me “poo poo” if she has.  Of course, she also tells me that she wants bubba for dinner  (“what do you want for dinner?” “BUBBA!”), so what she says can’t always be trusted.

My thumb went for the back of the nappy.  It was met by something squishy.  Something warm.  Something HORRIBLE!  I looked in, shocked to see a poo all the way up the back of her nappy, my thumb resting right in it.  To make things worse, she ate blueberries yesterday (just think about that for a minute).

“I just put my thumb in poo!”  I announced loudly.  Humph.  No one was listening.  They were all engaged in their own conversations, with loud children running around them, making it nearly impossible to hear me.

“There’s POO on my thumb!”  I was louder this time, but still to no avail.  I’m not quite sure what I expected them to do with the information.  Maybe I just wanted sympathy.

I frantically rumaged through my purse (one-handed of course), fending off the small bubba hands that were also trying to rummage through my purse at the same time.  Phew, I found the wipes.  I wiped my thumb clean.  Ick, it was under my THUMBNAIL!  That is so disgusting….  How do you possibly get all of the poo fragments out from under a long thumbnail without leaving any behind?  I tried not to think about it and kept wiping.

I took Hannah to the bathroom and changed her nappy.  Then, I washed my hands with a copious amount of soap and prayed that never, EVER, would that happen again.

The wayward nugget

Her feet are kicking.  Her shoulders are trying desperately to wiggle out from under my hand and pop up so she can turn over.  Her torso is turns into a super bendy wiggle worm.  All extremities are flailing as I try my hardest to keep her laying down on the change mat, her feet away from her pooey bottom.  One hand is busy holding her down, the other trying to keep her feet away from poo as well as moving the pooey nappy away from her.  And then it happens.  A nugget is accidentally set free.  It rolls out of the nappy and onto the change mat.  Feet are flailing.  They narrowly escape turning an interesting shade of browney-green.  I dodge the flailing extremities and go in with a wipe.  Oh no, the wayward nugget escapes me and falls on the floor.  I can’t look for it now, there is a flailing baby with her bare pooey bottom hanging out laying (unwillingly) on top of a table.  No, I have to finish with Hannah first, then go in search of the wayward nugget.  Ok, Hannah’s bottom is clean, bottom creamed, nappied, and pantsed (is that a word?  Oh well, now it is).  I look under the table.  No sign of the nugget.  Bugger, where has it gone?  How far can a poo nugget roll?  What if Hannah finds it first?  Will she try to eat it?  Will she try to squish it in her pudgy little baby hands?  I can’t find it anywhere.  Inside, I’m freaking out a little.  The search continues.  It doesn’t help that the 70s/80s carpet is poo brown.  I can’t vacuum, that probably wouldn’t fare so well for the vacuum itself.   Freak out continues.  I peer under the freestanding fin oil heater.  The wayward nugget stares right back at me.  I can almost hear it laughing.  I move the heater, go in with a wipe, and finally, the wayward nugget is contained.   Who knew that motherhood would include elusive hide and seek games with wayward nuggets?  Not me.

The poo incident

Hannah:
Mommy has been trying to teach me to clap. Ok, I should say trying to get me to clap because I learned how to a while ago. I just haven’t had anything so good that I needed to pull out my new clapping trick for. Until today that is.

Sheri:
I have been trying to find a good pair of black shoes for a while now. Well, I found lots of them, but finding them in my size is another story. Needless to say, Hannah has been bored out of her mind in the stroller for a couple of shopping trips now. Today I finally found a good cute little pair of black flats that actually fit me. They even have some sparkles on them! Just as I picked them up after trying them on, Hannah clapped! I got so excited that I dropped everything right there in the middle of the aisle and loudly said “Yay!!!” while wildly clapping myself. I’m sure I looked a little looney to everyone around, but I don’t care, my baby clapped and I was going to encourage her no matter what.

Hannah:
Mommy had been trying on shoe after shoe while I sat there, watching, bored bored bored in my pram. “This is the one Bubba, it’s cute and it actually fits!” Hallelujah to that Mommy, let the boredom end! Now that was a reason to clap!
“oh, these ones are cute too,” Mommy reached for another shoe. NOOOOOO!! In my disgust, I cried. And you know what? Mommy didn’t try on any more shoes.

Sheri:
Every Saturday I get to sleep in. Aaron gets up at 7ish when Hannah wakes up, changes her nappy, gets her dressed, and then plays with her until 8, when I get up and feed her. I love my Saturday morning sleep ins, and look forward to them every week as only a sleep deprived first time mom can. Then on Sundays, Aaron gets to sleep in while I get up at 7ish when Hannah wakes up. Good deal I think. This Saturday, however, something disrupted my little much needed sleep in.
“Boo!!!” I heard Aaron calling me from Hannah’s room. Hmmm…Should I pretend to be asleep? It is my sleep in morning after all.
“Boo!!!”
“What?” It must be urgent, he knows I love my sleep in. I got up.
It was the smell that hit me first. I always know when Hannah has done a poo, but usually the smell seems to be a little contained at least. This time it seemed to be everywhere, seeping into my nostrils from all directions.
“I need some help.” Aaron said. I looked down. There she was, stark naked, Aaron holding her armpits so she could stand up. I looked down further. I wonder if my face gave away my surprise, horror, bewilderment, and ultimately the sense of ewwwww that I felt right at that moment. She was wearing a nappy when I put her to bed. Unfortunately, she seems to have found a way to take it off. I have no idea how, she was wearing a sleeping bag after all. I guess she wanted both Daddy and Mommy to pay her some attention that morning. Did I mention she always does a poo when she wakes up? Hannah’s feet were COVERED in poo. Aaron called her “Poo Shoes.” Next to her little cheeky feet was the nappy, freely sitting at the bottom of her sleeping bag. All over her sleeping bag…poo. Everywhere. Yes, this was definitely a 2 person clean up job. I had a look at her bed and sure enough, a little turd and it’s poopstreak friend sat there, patiently waiting to be cleaned up. I had only put those sheets on the day before! When we got her new pink soft sleeping bag for $20 at Target, I thought the slit in the front and back so you could put them in their sleeping bag and then strap them into the pram or car seat or what have you, was a fantastic idea. Now, not so sure. Safety belt slits are apparently good de-nappying and poo escaping holes.

Hannah – other stuff this week:
We went to Grandma’s house on the weekend, and I got to play with the little walker thing that Grandma bought for me. It was so much fun! It has 4 wheels and a handle so I can stand up, hold on, and then walk, walk walk! Mommy sat at one end of the hallway, and Daddy on the other. I couldn’t figure out how to turn the walker around, so I would walk down the hallway, then Mommy or Daddy would turn me around and I’d walk back the other way. I wish I had one of those at home!
One day I was in the bath, and I grabbed the side of the bath and stood up. “oh, there’s a boat,” I thought. I grabbed it, held it in both hands, and put it in my mouth. I always have to see if something is edible. Of course, Mommy tells me that lots of things I think taste perfectly fine aren’t for eating. Like the other day. I found a nice looking hair ball under the tv stand and put it in my mouth. Mommy said it wasn’t edible and pulled it out of my mouth, but I got to eat some of it. Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, so I had the boat and was trying to eat it when Mommy said “What a clever girl, you’re standing all by yourself!!!” Oh, wow, I really was. But then I realised and couldn’t balance anymore and sat down. I can stand for about 5 seconds now all by myself!! Mommy and Daddy get so excited when I do, so I’m going to try really hard to stand longer.
My mouth really hurts. I try to sleep like a good girl, but it’s really hard because my gums are so sore. My top tooth is trying to grow, but it’s being really mean to me and taking a long, painful time. I have a cold too, so I keep coughing and waking myself up. I don’t like teeth.

Dust storm

Time since birth: 12 weeks
Weight loss this week: 0, nada, zip, zilch:( (well, I gained weight last week and lost it this week bringing me back to exactly what I was last time I actually wrote the weight loss in the blog. I have started lifting weights again, so I’m going to tell myself that I gained some muscle then lost some fat…).
Total weight loss: 11.1kg

I looked at the clock. 5:56am. The baby monitor next to the bed was broadcasting Hannah’s “I’m waking up now” grunts/cries. Time to get up, baby’s hungry. There was a red glow coming from beyond the blinds. “What’s that saying? Red sky at night, sailors delight, red sky in the morning, sailors take warning. We’re in for a real storm today,” I thought to myself. I put on my pajama pants and bathrobe and went to Hannah’s room. “Mommy’s here Sweetie Pie,” I said, patting her belly. She gave me a huge good morning smile. I put her on her change mat to check her nappy. “What have you got in there this morning Bubba? Have you done a poo poo?” Cheeky grin. She has recently started doing a GIANT poo in the morning, and then either a couple of little poos through the day, or none at all (she used to do about 8 poos every day). I let her kick on her mat with her nappy off for about half an hour. She loves having her nappy off. “Ok Bubba, are you ready for your breakfast?”

7am. The eerie red glow from beyond the blinds was still there. I stuck my finger in the blinds and pulled down one of the slats (or whatever you call them). Red. Everything was red. It looked like Armageddon. Maybe there was a bushfire? No, not much bush in this area. Crazy intense sunrise? No, the sun should be up already. Cylons invasion? Probably not. End of the world? Possibly. The photographer came out in me and I grabbed my camera and went outside without a second thought. Not enough light. Better get the tripod. The smell of dirt filled the air. Even though I’d never been in a dust storm before, I knew that’s what it was as soon as I stepped outside.

After I took a few photos (not too many as I didn’t want to be breathing in all that dirt for very long), I went inside to watch the news. Turns out the dust travelled for something ridiculous like 1600km from the outback, turning Sydney into the twilight zone. By the end of the day, it had travelled all the way to far North Queensland. They said it is the worst dust storm in Sydney’s history. Aaron didn’t want to walk from the bus stop to work inhaling all that dust, so he was allowed to work from home that day.

After being cooped up inside all day, I decided I would get out and about the next day. I messaged the girls, and some of us met up for our very first Mum’s and Bub’s movie session. The cinema only charges $9 instead of $16 (or whatever ridiculous price movies are these days) for you to take your baby in a movie and disturb all the other patrons. No, the babies were all really good for the first 2 hours of the movie, they just got a bit restless for the last half hour.

I am happy to report that I have succeeded in my quest to get Hannah to drink a bottle. Well, I haven’t tried again since that fateful day, but I’m hoping it wasn’t just a one off. My boobs were so sore they woke me up at 6am, and Hannah had been asleep for nearly 11 hours. I pumped some milk, and decided this would be the perfect opportunity to get her to drink the bottle. She woke up after an 11 hour sleep (no, she doesn’t usually sleep for 11 hours straight. It’s usually 7-7.75, feed, then another 2-3) so ravenous, I don’t think she would have minded drinking milk out of toilet bowl.

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Muffin top

Time since birth: 9 weeks
Weight loss this week: 500g (1.1lbs)
Total weight loss: 11.1kgs (24.5lbs)

Anyone could see the muffin spilling over the top, the scent of chocolate filled the air. Hold on, I’m not talking about muffins, I’m talking about the unsightly muffin top I sport when I put on my pre pregnancy jeans (or any jeans really) (and the scent of chocolate is the new lynx men’s spray deodorant that was lingering in the bathroom, long after Aaron went to work. mmmm…chocolate). At least they fit now, and well enough to put on, and then actually wear out somewhere without feeling like my legs/butt are in a straight jacket. Thank you butt, for finally deciding to shrink.

Poor Hannah had to get her immunisations on Wednesday. I took off her pink pants (yes, pretty much all of her clothes are pink, and yes, I like it that way. I would like to find some purple stuff, but that has proven difficult), and the doctor had me hold her on her side. The doc then wiped her tiny defenceless leg with a cotton bud and whatever solution they put on there to clean the area, and then jabbed Hannah with the needle. Poor Bubba never saw it coming. The room filled with a high pitched “oh my goodness, I’m going to die” loud, loud scream from Hannah. I think my heart broke a little right at that moment. I’ve never heard her cry like that. Unfortunately, the 8 week immunisations require 2 shots. We repeated the process on her other thigh, and I nearly cried myself. I think I would have lost it if she had to have 3 shots. To hear your baby in such pain and distress really does break your heart. The doctor put a little band aid on both legs, but one of them fell off as it was full of blood. Poor little bubba!! I put her in her pram after and then wheeled her off to the bus stop. She fell asleep and then slept for 2 hours. Luckily she doesn’t need any more immunisations until about 6 months (I think anyways).

I finally did it. This week, I took a shower while no one else was here except for bubba. She was still sleeping when Aaron left for work, so I figured I’d take the plunge and try for a shower. I was always scared of her waking up screaming while my hair was full of shampoo. Seriously, then what do you do? You’re in the middle of your shower, and you’re baby is screaming. Do you finish your shower, and let your baby scream herself sweaty in the cot, or shove a towel around yourself and pick up baby while you drip shampoo all over her and your entire house?? I didn’t have to live out either scenario. She slept the whole time. I kept my eye on the baby monitor the whole time though.

As soon as I got out of the shower, I heard a strange noise coming from the monitor. “What was that?” I thought. The noise came again, longer, louder, and clearer. Hannah was doing a giant series of farts. I laughed out loud, naked and dripping, in the bathroom. I quickly got dressed, brushed my hair and teeth, and put moisturiser on as I knew it was only a matter of minutes until she woke up, her britches filled with a giant poo. Sure enough, I was right.

We’ve discovered that Bubba likes to give kisses. If we put our cheeks to her lips, she will give a little lick. Okay, so I’m not sure if she is just trying to see if we have a flavour, thinks the cheek is a nipple, or is actually trying to cute, but it doesn’t matter, it’s very cute.

Aaron got to celebrate his first Father’s Day yesterday. Hannah made him a nice card (with mommy’s help…), and some coupons (good for a hug, kiss, etc.), and ordered him a mouse pad with her photo on it. Aaron said it was his best Father’s Day ever. Haha.

This morning I was showing Grandma the beached as video on you tube
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdVHZwI8pcA. Hannah LOVED it! She couldn’t tear her eyes off the screen and kept smiling at it. I showed Grandma some videos before that, and Hannah didn’t have any interest what so ever, but I guess she likes the cheeky cartoon whale.