Hannah’s guide to being cheeky

1. Throw all of your food on the floor and then say DONE! and/or GONE! while giving Mommy a cheeky but innocent look.

2. After Mommy takes off your poopy nappy, flail your feet and bottom around and watch Mommy get increasingly frustrated as she dodges your pooey bottom and tries her hardest not to get poo all over herself.  Increase giggles as Mommy gets more frustrated.

3. Sip water out of your cup but instead of swallowing it, spit it back out, all over yourself, so Mommy has to change your clothes (she could just leave you all wet, but if she’s like my Mommy, she wouldn’t do that to you while it’s still cold out).

4. Bite Daddy’s nose.  Make sure you get the inside of Daddy’s nose.  Giggle, giggle, giggle.

5. While Mommy is folding laundry, innocently walk into her room, then quickly grab a stack of clothes and run off.

6. Open your closet/dresser, whatever you have, and throw all of your clothes around your room.

7. As soon as Mommy or Daddy puts your shoes on, run away, sit down somewhere, and then take them off.  If you’re feeling really mischievous, hide one or both shoes.

8. Unzip Mommy’s purse (I wonder why Daddy’s don’t have purses.  They seem so convenient.  Where do Daddy’s put all of their Daddy things?) and pull all of its contents out.  Make sure you open the wallet (I use my teeth, it’s far easier) and take out all of Mommy’s cards.  Just for a bit more fun, grab something that Mommy really needs from the purse and run off giggling.

9. Open the pantry and take out the tupperware of spaghetti.  Open the tupperware, dump out all of the spaghetti, then walk all over it so it breaks in little pieces.  Pick up some of the pieces and deposit them all around the kitchen.  Don’t try to eat them, they don’t taste very nice when they’re not cooked (I know from experience).

10. Point to Mommy’s chest and say “Booby.”  Hahaha.

11. Pull Mommy’s shirt up and try to steal the shiny sparkle-y thing that she keeps in her belly button.  I Haven’t been successful in the quest so far.  Maybe one day I’ll be able to get the shiny thing.

12.  Pull down Mommy’s shirt and try to take the spot off of her (she calls it a mole.  “Hannah, Mommy likes her mole there, don’t try to take it off…”).  I scratch, pinch, and sometimes use a combination of both.

13. Make sure Mommy or Daddy or Grandma is watching, and then go touch the garbage bin.  Keep touching it and give them a cheeky grin (because you know you’re not supposed to touch it, and they know that you know).

14. When you play outside, find a puddle, run straight into it, then jump up and down.  Make sure you get your shoes soaking wet, all the way through your socks, and preferably up your pant legs as well.  I also recommend sitting down in the puddle and slapping it with your hands.

15. When you are having a bath, stand up and run around so Mommy can’t get a hold of you to wash your face and hair (I hate having my face and hair washed!).  Laying on your belly and kicking your feet in the water, making lots of splashes is great too.

16. Say “Daddy!” and when Daddy looks at you, flick the straw of your cup so water hits Daddy in the face.  Laugh heartily when Daddy says “Hey, you got Daddy in the eye,” and then do it again.

17. Run into your room and then when Daddy tries to follow you, shut the door.  When he opens it, giggle, giggle, giggle, then close it on him again.  Repeat as desired.

18. Spill something on the floor (or find something that is already there).  Put your index finger in the  middle of the spill and then move it around.  Try to make the spill spot as big as possible.