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What she looks like (according to a 3 year old)

21 Nov

“Daniel, do you have any friends that are girls at your daycare?” Hannah (5) asked Daniel (3).

“Charlie is my friend, ” he told her.

“Charlie is a boy, buddy.” I told him, knowing there is a little boy named Charlie at his daycare.

 

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“No, there’s a girl Charlie too.” Daniel said in a duh-Mommy-I’m-not-stupid  tone of voice.

“What does girl Charlie look like?” Hannah asked him.

Daniel's daycare photo

Daniel’s daycare photo

He thought about it for a couple seconds. “Uh, she wears girl shirts.”

“But what does girl Charlie look like?” Hannah asked again, clearly unimpressed with the description only a little boy could give.

He thought about it for a couple more seconds. “She has a nose, like me!” He said proudly.

“What colour are her eyes?” Hannah asked, changing tactics.

“Um….Mama, what colour are girl Charlie’s eyes?” He asked me.

“I don’t know buddy, I didn’t even know there was a girl Charlie at your daycare.”

“Yeah, but what colour are her eyes, Mama?” He asked me again because obviously moms should know everything.

So girl Charlie wears girl shirts and has a nose. Thank you  Daniel for those insightful observations.

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Poo in space

15 Nov

“I want to do a poo SO BIG that it goes all the way to the ceiling!!” Daniel (3) told me randomly the other day while I was driving down the road.

“That’s a pretty big poo buddy,” I told him, attempting to stifle my laughter.

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“Actually, I want to do a poo SO BIG it goes to SPACE! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, TEN POOPS IN SPACE!!!” He told me, clearly excited about the prospect of space poop.

“Wow, that’s a lot of poop,” I told him.

“Actually, zero poops in space.” Okay then.

Maybe we’ll just work on trying to get it in the potty  for now…..

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Early wake up

17 Jun

“I need my car vitamin,” I heard the other morning as I lifted my still half asleep eyes towards the bedside clock.

5:36am.  Argh.

“No vitamin yet Daniel, your clock hasn’t turned green.  You know you’re supposed to stay in your room until your clock turns green.  It’s not 6 yet.” I told him as my head settled back onto my warm, soft pillow.

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“NOOOOOOOOO I WANT TO GET UP!!!!!!!!”  He screamed as he threw himself backwards on the bed.

Despite my half asleep brain fog, I knew a change in tactics was needed.  I had to outsmart the 2 year old.

“Daniel, it’s still night; it’s still sleep time.  Lay down and go to sleep.”  So what if it was morning, Daniel didn’t need to know that.  I would have made him go back to his room, but I didn’t want him to wake Hannah up.

My quick thinking did the trick and Daniel’s whinging immediately stopped as he thought about my words.  He wriggled himself under the blankets and laid his head on edge of my pillow.

A few minutes later,  a whisper accompanied by a dim light moved around the house. “Daniel?  Daniel?”  Hannah was looking for him.  She tip toed to the bathroom, the dining room, and the living room, quietly calling Daniel’s name.  I thought she would come in Aaron’s and my bedroom, but after checking everywhere else, the still dark morning returned to silence.

I thought she’d gone back to bed until I heard her soft footsteps coming towards our room.

“Hannah.  Hannah.”  I whispered.

The footsteps stopped, but I received no answer.

“It’s ok, you can come in.”  I told her.  She quickly came to the bed and got under the covers.

“I was looking for Daniel,” she told me “he escaped from our room.”

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What happens if you jump

9 Apr

“What happens if you jump in a muddy puddle?!” Daniel often asks me cheekily.

“What happens?” I ask him back.

“You get all MUDDY!!!” He says whilst laughing like it’s the funniest joke he’s ever heard.

Recently though, he’s started expanding his questions.

“What happens if you jump in a table puddle?” He asks, already laughing in anticipation of his answer.

“I dunno, what happens?”

“You get all CHAIR-Y!!!!”

“What happens if you jump in a tree puddle?”

“I dunno, what happens?”

“You get all LEAFY!!”

Then Hannah joins in and they ask each other what happens when they jump in random things.  One asks, the other answers and they both laugh heartily.

Eventually, it turned into people.

“What happens when you jump in a Mommy puddle?” Daniel asks Hannah.

She thinks about it for a couple of seconds and then says “You get better at stuff.”

Daniel: “What happens if you jump in a Daddy puddle?”

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Hannah: “You get ice cream!!!”

Daniel: “What happens if you jump in an Aunty Jess puddle?”

Hannah: “You get babies!”

Note to self, don’t let kids jump in an Aunty Jess puddle.

Daniel: “What happens when you jump in a Rosie puddle?”

Hannah: “You get naughty!”

 

These are some funny kids

These are some funny kids

Daniel: “What happens if you jump in a Daniel puddle?”

Hannah: “You get cheeky!”

Daniel: “What happens if you jump in a YaYa puddle?”

Hannah: “You get treats!”

Daniel: What happens if you jump in a Grandma puddle?”

Hannah: “YOU GET TREATS!!!”

Me: “What happens if you jump in a Hannah puddle?”

Hannah: “I don’t know.”

Me: “You get cute.”

Hannah: “YEAH!!!”

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Dinosaurs according to Daniel

23 Mar

“Dinosaurs are a bit scary,” Daniel told me one day as we were driving down the road.  He was looking at his Peppa Pig magazine.

“You don’t have to worry about dinosaurs buddy, they’re extinct.  There are no dinosaurs left, they all died.”  I told him.

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“No they didn’t.” He told me using his you’re-a-moron tone of voice.

“Yes they did, they are all gone.”

“Well they say RARRRRRRRRRRR! So there are dinosaurs.”

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Mommy as a measurement

21 Mar

The first time Hannah used my age to convey a number, it was kind of funny.  Daniel was being cheeky (as usual), and Hannah was making jokes about it.

“There are two cheeky Daniel’s!!”  She giggled, imagining what life would be like if Daniel were a twin.

“No, there are as many Daniel’s as Mommy’s age!!” She yelled, followed by raucous cheeky laughter. Clearly she thinks she is hilarious.

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But then she did it again.  I can’t remember what we were talking about, but it went something like this:

“There will be 5.  No, 10…20. No, AS MANY AS MOMMY IS OLD!”  Hannah told me while giggling.

My cheeky little girl

My cheeky little girl

Now every time she needs to quantify a very large number, she confidently says “as many as mommy is old,” or “as many as mommy’s age.”  She used to say things like 1,000 hundred for really big exaggerated numbers, like a normal 4 year old, but now she has her own large unit of measurement: my age.  And it seems that in her mind, no number is larger.

I’m torn between finding it hilarious and feeling ancient.

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A lesson on unicorns

15 Feb

Hannah LOVES prep.  When she’s not at prep, she wants to play prep.  First we dress all of her dolls, then we sit them down together somewhere in her room, and then she pretends to be the teacher.

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Yesterday, she taught them about unicorns:

“I’m going to tell you about unicorns.  Unicorns are real.  They are pink with white horns,” she told her class of dollies confidently as she held up a plush example.

“They eat lettuce and butterflies.”  At this point, I made sure my giggles were well stifled.  She was doing such a good job of thinking on the fly, projecting her voice, and speaking confidently, but I wasn’t expecting her to say they eat butterflies.

“When unicorns see other unicorns,” she continued, “they bite their tails.”

“That’s all we know about unicorns.”

Thanks Hannah, now we all know a little bit more about unicorns.

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Where have they been

11 Jan

“Mommy, can I lick my train?” Daniel asked me as he held up one of his Thomas engines.

“No, don’t lick your train buddy.”

“Can I lick my hand?”

“No, don’t lick your hand, who knows what your hands have been touching.”  I told him, thinking of dirty dog toys, dirt, grass, boogers, etc.

“My penis.”  He told me matter of factly.

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Pretend McDonalds

8 Jan

Driving pretty much anywhere these days means passing by at least one McDonald’s.  Driving anywhere with kids when passing a McDonald’s means begging.  Kids seem to know those golden arches from afar and even if they don’t really like the food, they still want to go there.

“Mommy, can we go to McDonald’s?” Daniel asked me yesterday as I drove them from daycare to Grandma’s house.

“No buddy, we’re not going to McDonald’s.” I told him, as I do pretty much every day.

“Can I go to pretend McDonald’s?”

“Sure.  Where is pretend McDonald’s?” I asked him, stifling my laughter.

“Um…I don’t know. Can I go there?”

“Yeah, you can go to pretend McDonald’s.  Maybe it can be at Grandma’s house.”

“Can we have real chippies with dinner?” He asked me sweetly.  “Please?”

“No buddy, we’re not having chips with dinner.” I told him.

“Oh, this is im-possum-ble.”  He said with a sigh

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Chicken nuggets

2 Dec

“I know how they make chicken nuggets, Daddy.” Hannah said to Aaron whilst eating a nugget the other day.

“How do they make them?” Aaron asked her.

“They put a chicken in the blender and out comes a chicken nugget.”

“Who told you that?”

“I just know.”

In other news, here is an awesome desktop ecosystem on KickStarted called the EcoQube.  I don’t usually spread the news about KickStarter projects, but I found this one particularly interesting and awesome, so I wanted to tell you about it too.

ecocube

For us, it would be perfect for a number of reasons: 1. Daniel likes fish but I don’t want to have to clean out a tank. 2. It grows a plant. 3. It will help me teach the kids about ecosystems.

That's what I'm talking about

That’s what I’m talking about

4. Considering I’m taking an entire course about sustainable agriculture, it’s highly relevant to my interests.

See, totally relevant to my interests (feeding the world)

See, totally relevant to my interests (feeding the world)

To put your pledge in for the EcoQube on KickStarter, click here.

*I was not paid to mention this project, but they are going to send me one when manufacturing starts (and I’m really excited!).

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