One of those days….

16 Oct

I looked at the clock.  7:30am.  Hannah was stirring, making cute little baby (ok toddler, I’ll try to stop kidding myself) noises, talking to her dollies.  I let her play for a while and then it went quiet.  Not like the “I’ve just fallen back asleep” quiet.  I don’t know how I knew she wasn’t asleep, but I knew.  I guess Moms just know such things.  It was more of a worried (my worry, not hers) quiet.  A something’s happened quiet.  Or maybe an “I’m doing something cheeky” quiet.  I wasn’t sure, but I decided to go in.  Usually I would assume she’d gone back to sleep and let her sleep on.

I slowly opened the door.  I suppose there was a chance that my intuition was chucking a sickie (pretending to be sick and taking the day off for those of you not used to such Aussie lingo).  Or that my intuition is just a little special anyway.  I walked into her room, a big smile on my face and peered into the cot.

My heart dropped.  I nearly wet myself.  I think I lost 2 years off my life.  My eyes continued searching the cot.  She wasn’t there.  The room was silent.  I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my entire life.

Busted!!!

A tiny movement caught my eye.  My heart was still pounding.  I was still silently freaking out.  But then I saw her.  She was sitting on the floor of her room, clothes and books scattered all around her, like a tornado had recently been through her room.  My bible was on her lap, it’s pages being not so gently turned by a mischevious toddler, excited by the fact that she was now in possession of a book I never let her play with.  It’s pages are so thin and fragile, I didn’t want her to break it.  Silently, she sat there, in awe of the book that Mommy reads to her every day before bed.

“You cheeky little baby!”  She turned and gave me the cheekiest little cute smile that she could possibly muster.  “How did you climb out of your cot?”

Luckily she didn’t hurt herself.  I’ve never had to put the cot rail up before.  Usually she

Surrounding her was a mountain of chaos

wore a sleeping bag to bed.  Not for climb preventing, but because she starts the night at one end of the cot and ends up at the other, losing her blankets in the process.  Last night though, it was really hot, too hot for the sleeping bag.  I put her to bed in light-weight pants and a t-shirt.  Perfect climbing attire, apparently.

Later that morning:

Why is there a raisin floating in the bath?  Did cheeky baby take a raisin with her?

Where did that pea come from? Hannah was squatting.  She momentarily stopped playing.  OH. My. Goodness.  She is POOPING in the bath!  SHE IS POOPING IN THE BATH!  Oh man, what do I do? It kept coming.  When she finished, she started playing again, oblivious to the fact that her pristine bath was now full of excretement, carrots, raisins, peas, and corn casually floating on the surface, looking like that hadn’t ever travelled through an entire digestive system.

“GRANDMA!!!!!!!!!”  I freaked out a little.  A lot, whatever, I won’t lie.  She didn’t hear me, she is a little deaf.  “GRANDMA!!!”  louder this time.  She came in, rather quickly for an 80 year old woman with hip trouble.  The urgent note in my voice must have tipped her off.

She looked at Hannah who was stark naked, standing next to the bath, clearly longing to actually be in the bath.  Grandma gave me a puzzled look.

“There’s been an accident….”  I pointed towards the bath.  Grandma laughed.  This is SO not funny right now!!

It would have been easy to clean up had the offending bodily waste been nuggets.  But no, it wasn’t nuggets.  It would have been easy if it were a log.  No, not that easy either.  No, this poo, this-first-time-she’s-ever-pooed-in-the-bath poo was runny.  It was everywhere.  It was like someone had put a kilo (ok, that is an exaggeration) of that flaky brown fish food in the tub and then threw in some pea, corn and carrot mix just for kicks and giggles.

Well, I wasn’t giggling.  How am I going to clean this up???

“Just drain the bath.”  Grandma told me.  I kept staring in the bath, unable to actually put my hand in to reach the plug.  You want me to put my hand in there?  With the POOP??!!!  My hand is going to be in the same water as the POOP?!

“Do you want me to do it?” Grandma asked.

“No.”  Well, I kinda did, but I had to woman up and do it myself.  I hesitated and then reached in, an “oh my goodness this is disgusting” look plastered all over my face.  The water started draining from the bath but slowed after all the chunky bits settled in the drain.  I can’t look, it’s too disgusting. I grabbed my razor; the only thing handy that was disposable and useful in such a situation.  The handle end proved good at stirring up the chunky bits, allowing the water to go down the drain without my hand having to once again enter the contaminated bath water.

A wipe proved useful in removing the chunky bits (aka peas, corn, carrots and raisins).  Everything was washed, scrubbed, and put back.  The bedraggled baby was put back in the tub, and bath time recommenced.  Please don’t poop, please don’t poop.

It’s gonna be one of those days.

`

15 Responses to “One of those days….”

  1. mom October 16, 2010 at 1:54 pm #

    Now there’s a missed opportunity. There she is, pooping in the tub and you didn’t pluck her out and sit her on the toilet?

    • photosheri October 16, 2010 at 2:21 pm #

      It was a runny, squidgy poop, it would have been EVERYWHERE if I had tried that.

  2. Fiona L October 16, 2010 at 2:28 pm #

    Haha, Annie used to poop in the bath all the time. If she ever had trouble going and was in pain, sometimes our only solution was putting her in the bath here she would relax and go. Gross, but at least in those situations, they were very hard and solid.
    he first few times she did it though (around 4-6 months) they weren’t solid. No, they were anything but. And it was GROSS.

    Luckily, we haven’t had a poo in the bath for a while now.

    Go Hannah!!!! haha.

    P.S. Cot side going to be up from now on?

    • photosheri October 16, 2010 at 8:01 pm #

      Haha, I’m glad it’s only happened to me once! That’s enough thanks!
      Cot side will be going up. As long as I remember. Last night I had to sneak in there to put it up because I’d ALREADY forgotten.

  3. Daddy John October 16, 2010 at 3:47 pm #

    Sheri,
    Don’t they have rubber gloves in Australia?

    Or in a “pinch” or a “poop” you could put your hand in a plastic bag, reach in for the floaties, grab the poo and turn the bag inside out. Poo in bag, hands and tub clean.

    Dad

    • photosheri October 16, 2010 at 8:00 pm #

      Well, I didn’t think about that at the time did I?? Hmmm…I really wish I had.

  4. YAYA Trish October 17, 2010 at 8:54 am #

    With so many comments about poop I want to comment about Hannah and the bible. Aaron used to have the same awe and fascination. My pastor came to visit and saw it and said now I know you read your bible lots! I don’t think you knew that I used to read to him just like you read to Hannah. They watch us all the time and copy us! Well done Sheri and thank you for reading Hannah the Bible. Maybe now it’s time to let her see you poop on the toilet. If you put the sides of the cot up maybe you should put something halfway up the outside of the cot bar, in case she still manages to climb over, so she has something to step down from. Does that make sense. I love you all!!!

    YAYA XXXX

  5. jazzymiranda October 17, 2010 at 9:04 pm #

    my daughter has never pooped in the bath but did squat once on my foot in the shower… ewwwww lol, oh toddlers and their love of climbing 😦 it gave me a heart attack the first time my little miss dove off her cot, she ended up getting a toddler bed because i was petrified she would face plant and break a bone… i truly sympathise with you her, best of luck for tomorrow!

    • photosheri October 18, 2010 at 6:35 am #

      Haha, your poo in the shower story made me laugh! I remembered to put the cot rail up, and it’s been cold enough for the sleeping bag, so we haven’t had any more climbing incidents since then. She did poo in her little inflatable pool yesterday though. Luckily she was wearing a swim nappy! Thanks for checking out my blog!

  6. theakinyon October 22, 2010 at 4:10 pm #

    Oooooooooh she’s gonna *hate* you if she ever reads this

  7. hellyamber October 23, 2010 at 8:38 am #

    lol the sound of mischief is a very quiet sound, almost no sound at all.

    I won’t comment on the poo, except to say, poor you and I hope that never happens here.

    • photosheri October 23, 2010 at 1:52 pm #

      yeah, for some reason mischief is very quiet. The poo was not fun, but very funny in hindsight!

  8. lostdmw October 23, 2010 at 1:02 pm #

    My little one did his first poop in the bath a few weeks ago. I had the same confusion, and I just sat there and watched him…then hollared for my mom (who came running much like your grandmother) who laughed…and my dad came in to see what the excitement was and he laughed too, which made the toddler laugh…and I just sat there fuming about having to clean up the poopy tub and rebathe the baby. I finally just lightened up and started laughing too…but yeah ick!

  9. workingtechmom October 24, 2010 at 1:16 am #

    Very funny and we’ve all been there. And most of us reacted the same way. Only a dad would think of the plastic bag! Wait till you have the “pick her up from her bed cuz she is sick and she barfs all over your face” moment.

    Fortunately, my husband got that one and I did not.

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