Minnesota

I’m back.  Actually, I’ve been back for 3 days now, but the first day I was so jet lagged that just trying to stay awake was difficult, and the other two days I was busy playing with the kids and catching up on house stuff and university work.

Hannah had all these plans of fun things to do with Aaron while I was away, but she was sick almost the entire time.  The first night I arrived and FaceTimed (video chat on the iPhone) with them, I could tell just by looking that she wasn’t well.  She only ended up being able to do one thing from her list.  Then when she started feeling better, Aaron got sick.  And then when he started feeling better, Daniel got sick.  Someone was sick the whole time I was gone.

Lucky for me, I didn’t get sick.  I was able to savour every moment there.  I sat at the breakfast bar in Jennifer’s house when I ate my breakfast, reading something or watching something on my iPad whilst enjoying a whole cup of tea.  Jennifer and I were able to take our time when we went shopping and not have to worry about kids running off, having tantrums, or anything of the like.  We got to hang out, talk, watch movies, and make wedding decorations  without interruption.

But I missed them so much.  I wanted to reach through the phone and give them a cuddle every time I saw them.

I had a great time in Minnesota, catching up with Jennifer, whom I haven’t seen in almost 5 years, and seeing my mom and dad, grandma and grandpa, two of my aunts, and even Jennifer’s dad, whom I haven’t seen since I was about 12 years old.

Jennifer’s wedding was absolutely beautiful.  Her dress was the probably the prettiest wedding dress I’ve ever seen, and the reception looked stunning, but more importantly, was very fun.  I danced for about 4 hours and clocked up over 20,000 steps on my fitbit, the most I’ve ever done in a single day.

Now I need to get over my jet lag, catch up on my uni work, finish unpacking and try to make a whole raised garden bed before it’s too late for spring planting.  I don’t think that last one will happen in time, but I can hope.

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Oh, and if you’re like me, and get constipated when you’re travelling, or away from home, I have found the cure!  On my third day over there, I went for a morning run with Jennifer.  usually my short runs are at least 3 kilometers, but I had to walk and squeeze after only 1k so I didn’t poop myself.  I went for another run the next morning and from there on out, I was fine.

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Copyright 2013 Sheri Thomson

How to have an inexpensive wedding

Yesterday was Aaron (Aaron’s? Should there be an s there?) and my 8th wedding anniversary. We both thought our anniversary was today until I checked our wedding certificate at nearly 4pm when I got a feeling that it was the third and not the fourth. Yes, yes, I know it’s terrible that neither of us knows the date we got married. But in our defence, we originally were getting married on the 4th, but changed it because the flight to Fiji on the 5th was full. There was availability on the 4th, so we changed the wedding date to the 3rd and now we always get confused when our anniversary rolls around.

I’ve already told you about the day we started going out, so I’m not going to write a soppy ode to my Boo (that’s Aaron, in case you were confused) post.

Instead, I’m going to tell you how to have a wedding that won’t cost you an arm and a leg. When Aaron and I got married, I was working full time, and earning approximately $400 a week after tax. Aaron was in university and earning approximately nothing. We wanted to have a lovely, fun wedding, but we obviously didn’t have the funds to spend very much on it. In total, our wedding cost us (er…me… but that’s ok, because now I earn  hardly anything with my sponsored posts, and Aaron brings home the bacon) about $1000. Yes, you read that right. Here’s how we did it:

1. Leave a large gap between the engagement and the wedding so you have plenty of time to shop around and find things for cheap. Also, you can book airline tickets around 9 months in advance and the earlier you book, the cheaper the tickets as they are based on availability (i.e. there are a set number of tickets at the very cheapest price, a set number at the next price and so on, so obviously the cheaper ones will go first. At least that is how it works in Australia. I know, I used to be a travel agent).

2. Find out when bridal shops are having sales. Sometimes you can get a really good deal. Usually there are good sales in June, before the end of the financial year. I got my dress for $500, which was on sale from $1000. I got in before we even got engaged, but what can I say, my mother in law told me the bridal shop was having a really good sale, we went, I found one I loved, I put it on lay-by. I knew that Aaron and I would get married one day (11 months later, as it turned out).

3. Photos don’t have to cost you thousands. There are plenty of TAFE (technical college) and university photography students or recent graduates that want to get into wedding photography and/or portrait photography. They have the know how, but not a lot of real world experience. They are more often than not jumping at the chance to get some experience and photos for their portfolio by shooting your wedding for very cheap. Like $100 cheap (just for shooting and retouching, then you can print whatever you want with the disc/usb/however they get the digital images to you). For that price, you can hire 2 or 3 of them just to be safe. I had a TAFE student take photos at my wedding, plus my Dad (when he wasn’t doing Dad duties) who is also a photographer. Photos from both turned out great. If you don’t know any photography students, just call a local campus and speak to the photography department who I’m sure will be happy to give your info to the students.

I was going to put a photo of our wedding here, but all of the digital copies were lost in the thunderstorm. I could take a picture of some from our album, but that wouldn’t do them justice. Sure, I could go and get one scanned, but guess what? That’s too much effort. Sorry.

4. Suits also don’t have to cost an arm and a leg. We got Aaron’s for $89 at Kelly Country. It wasn’t even a suit, but a tux. Oh yeah, we went all out! Or you can hire suits/tux’s from most formal and bridal shops. I’m pretty sure you can even hire wedding dresses from some places. There’s a thought. It’s not like you’ll ever wear it again.

5. If you get married in a church, consider also having your reception there. Usually churches have plenty of tables, working ovens, microwaves, refrigerators, etc. and usually a separate hall (i.e. not the same room the ceremony is held in) where all could be set up nicely. Finger food can be made ahead of time and just heated up (by friends of the family who are happy to do such things for you for free) when needed and put on tables.

Image courtesy of http://www.miseenplaceblog.com.br/2011/12/finger-food-para-comer-tambem-com-os.html

Or if you know someone who has a big nice house, an afternoon reception would be nice there as well. Aaron and I had ours at my lovely host family’s house. My host mum used to be a chef and did all the finger food for us as our wedding present and even had people going around offering it to everyone on trays as well. They had a pool table at their house, so all of the guests had a great time just hanging out, playing pool, and eating. It was very low key, but very memorable, and fun. Everyone had a great time.

Alternatively, you can hire a big nice house for the night (or 2 so you and the bridesmaids can sleep there the night before) and have a reception there. My sister in law did that for her reception, and it worked really well.

6. Get married in the morning. This could be fairly early on, say 8 or 9, followed by a finger food brunch (to keep costs down), or at 11 or so like we did. I had enough time to get ready, but we didn’t have to feed our guests a 3 course lunch. After the wedding, there were some little sandwiches and nibbly things in the church hall, then the reception started in the early afternoon, after we had photos done. That way, we didn’t have to feed people lunch. They could get something in between the wedding and reception, or fill up on finger food. Their choice.

7. Get married on a weekday. Everything is cheaper! We got married on a Friday. Although our reasoning was purely due to flight availability for our honeymoon.

8. Don’t serve alcohol. Alcohol is expensive. If you have your reception at a venue that serves alcohol, people can buy their own if they like. Another benefit of a morning wedding is people aren’t so keen for the alcohol at the morning or afternoon reception. They won’t even notice if there isn’t any.

9. Don’t invite everyone and their mother. The more mouths, the more money. Only invite people you really, really want there. Do you really personally know 200 people? Don’t feel like you have to invite everyone to the reception either. You can invite people to the wedding only.

10. If you can’t live without a 3 course dinner reception, consider doing the finger food thing as a reception with all of your wedding attendees, then for dinner, only invite family and best friends to a sit down dinner reception. HEAPS of people do that these days.

What other money saving wedding ideas do you have?

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Copyright 2012 Sheri Thomson

Lauren’s wedding

Ok, ok, I know it’s Wednesday and I’ve been home from our weekend away for 3 days now and still haven’t written a blog post. That’s the problem with going away, you have to catch up on so much stuff. There’s the washing, of course. Usually I do a load of washing every single day (ugh), but I can’t really do that when we’re away. I guess I could, but then I’d have to pay to use the coin operated machine and then waste half the day waiting for the washing machine to finish to transfer everything to the dryer. No thanks. Now there is a mound of clean clothes as high as my boobs waiting to be folded and put away. At least I’ve done the first 2 steps. I’ve washed and dried them.

Then there’s the dishes. I should have done the dish pile before leaving on Friday, but we left at 8am and I didn’t really have time. By Sunday, they were smelly and disgusting, and even though I was dead tired, I had to wash them.

Oh, and the unpacking. Not just mine, but the kids’ as well. And when you have little kids, you have to take so much stuff. Even for just 2 nights away. There’s their clothes (extra clothes too, in case they get food all over them, vomit, fall in a puddle, wipe snot everywhere, etc. There is no telling how clothes will get dirty in 2 minutes on a toddler), toys (yes, an whole carry-on sized suitcase full. Gotta entertain them somehow when at the cabin), bedding, blankets (as in, their special take-them-to-bed-and-cuddle-them blankets) sippy cups and little spoons, snacks, no tears shampoo, little kid toothpaste, portable cot (for Daniel), baby monitor, nappy bag full of nappies, wipes, creams, etc.. Yeah, lots of stuff. So unpacking is no easy feat.

I also had to catch up on sleep. Which is hard when you usually go to bed at 9 anyway. Not much wiggle room for those extra z’s. Needless to say, getting a blog post out was just not happening. But now it’s 5am, I’m awake, the kids are asleep, Aaron is out running, so I’m writing. As I usually do at 5.

I thought Daniel would be screaming and crying, and desperately wanting to escape from his car seat the whole way there. Turns out if I put some cartoons on the iPad (which has a special holder that goes on the back of the front seat headrest), he is happily entertained for hours. I’m sure it would be a different story if he was in my lap rather than restrained in a seat.

Hannah, on the other hand, started with the “are we there yet’s” after only an hour. A little while after that she started making these horrible whinging noises that sounded nearly identical to a fatally wounded elk. What I’d imagine one to sound like anyway. Then she started flapping her arms about whilst making the horrid noise followed by shouts of “I WANT TO GO TO MCDONALD’S!” Which we did. An hour and a half later.

Hi Mom!

She finally smiles for the camera now

Why McDonald’s? Because they have a playground. Essential for little people in the middle of a long drive. Healthy food joints, take note: if you have a playground, they will come.

The kids loved their little food/play stop even though the tunnels leading to the slides smelled like urine. Ick.

Some hours and many canola fields later, we arrived.

See all that yellow? Fields of canola

Lauren’s wedding. Oh. My. Gosh. It was awesome. That girl knows how to put on a wedding. Actually, every time her family have any sort of get together, it is awesome fun. I learned that 11 years ago at my very first family gathering. Nothing has changed. Except all the kids are no longer kids anymore.

All of the other bridesmaids slept at the reception venue the night before the wedding. It was actually at someone’s house (amazing house), but there was a marquee set up in the yard for the reception. I opted to stay with Aaron and the kids and meet the girls at the house at 7:30 in the morning for a lovely breakfast of bircher muesli, fresh fruit, and eggs, spinach and tomato on toast. Oh yes, it was fabulous. Plus I could enjoy it without any little people grasping on to my leg and looking at me with puppy dog eyes until I picked them up.

 

bircher muesli

We started the hair/make up process at 10 or 10:30 or something like that and didn’t finish until after we were supposed to leave for the wedding. We didn’t actually end up leaving until after the wedding was supposed to have started.

Me, all ready to go

If you know Lauren though, you’d know that’s not unusual. I remember in high school she was ALWAYS late. Running out the door whilst brushing her teeth, back pack half on, shoes in hand late. She’d often miss her train and Linda would have to race the train to the next stop to drop Lauren off.

We did finally make it there, some 40 minutes late, but at least we arrived in style. 1920s style. I’ve always wanted to ride in one of those old cars.

The wedding charriot. One of them. (sorry about the crop, it’s from instagram)

The sun was shining, the scenery was beautiful, the bride was beautiful, and everything went as planned.

Except when one of the flower girls got a bug in her skirt. Everyone was busy watching the bride and groom sign the registry, so I’m pretty sure no one noticed as one of the bridesmaids had to fish a weird looking bug from the layers of tulle.

After all the formal photos, and some not so formal ones, we rode in the awesome cars to the reception where everyone cocktail hour was almost over.

A not so formal photo…

There was a nanny in the house, looking after all the kids whilst the parents enjoyed the reception. Brilliant idea! Seriously, little kids would be so bored at a wedding reception, so having toys and a nanny away from all that was absolutely wonderful.

I had so much fun at the reception that I danced and giggled until 12am.

Lozza on the dance floor

Some of us couldn’t help ourselves when we noticed the corrugated iron cow.

Who was molesting the cow? I don’t know, we, I mean they… were clearly incognito

There was even a photo booth. If you are having a wedding, seriously, you need one of these. It was so much fun, and they print 2 copies of the photos, one for you and one to glue in a book that goes to the bride and groom. Awesome. If only I had one at my wedding!

Oh yes, there are dress ups for the photo booth

After the band finished at 12, there was a bus to drop everyone off at their accommodation (it also picked people up). See, they thought of everything. No one had to worry about taxis, no one drove drunk, no one had to worry about parking. Well, Aaron drove, but he left at 7 with the grumpy past-their-bed-time kids. He’s not really one for dancing anyway.

Lauren, you are awesome, and I’m sure you and Ryan will have a great life together ❤

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Copyright 2012 Sheri Thomson

Road trip

Today we are embarking on a 4 hour road trip with the kids. Yes, I know, we are slightly crazy. It usually takes 4 hours to get there. For people without kids. We are planning to make it in 6 hours with playground, pee, and lunch stops along the way. Daniel has never been in the car for more than about an hour before, so it could be…interesting.

We are going to Young for a wedding. Not just any wedding. Lauren’s wedding. You may remember Lauren from our Amazing Race Australia season 1 application video.  She was my exchange student in the U.S. almost 13 years ago. Then I was her exchange student over here nearly 12 years ago. I met Aaron through Lauren. Needless to say, there is no way we are missing that wedding, no matter how long it takes to drive there. Plus, I’m a bridesmaid.

I’m pretty sure this is going to be the wedding of the year. I can’t wait. Hopefully the journey there and back will go smoothly. I’ll be tweeting and instagraming on the way there, and whilst I’m there, so you can follow along if you like:

Follow me on Twitter

Find me on Instagram – sherismommyadventures

Otherwise, I’ll tell you all about it when I get back in a few days.

In the mean time, check out the review I did of the  halftee (which you can use to cover your cleavage in a low cut top of dress). If you’d like to buy one, use the code mommyadventures10 for 10% off. See the review here.

Also, there is a new website called the MoDa report (MOmmy DAddy) which gathers awesome posts from mommy and daddy bloggers far and wide. Check it out here.

If you enjoyed reading this, please vote for my blog. All you have to do is click the link below. That’s it… Clicking the link brings you to the Top Mommy Blogs home page. You don’t have to do anything else. Any clicks from my site to theirs is a vote.  THANKS!

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Copyright 2012 Sheri Thomson

Socially awkward

On the weekend, I did something I haven’t done in about 5 years. I was a wedding photographer. Don’t get all scared, I used to have my own photography business, so it’s not like I was some random person with a point and shoot charging some poor unsuspecting couple an arm and a leg to ruin their wedding photos. I do kinda know what I’m doing. Kinda. It’s been a while….And I didn’t charge an arm and a leg either.

The groom of this particular couple is actually the brother of the groom from the very first wedding I ever shot. They contacted me to see if I was still taking photos, and I said no. But that I would be happy to do it anyway. It just felt nice to still be remembered and recommended after all these years.

I got there at 9am. The groom filled me in a bit on how the day was going to go, what would be when, etc.

“So how much flash is too much?” I asked him. “I’m a little bit scared of using it now.” Yes, perfect. Great thing to tell a groom when he is about to get married.

“It’s really not that bad, just don’t flash it in her face a lot.”

The bride has epilepsy. I didn’t really want to be responsible for putting the bride into a fit while she was supposed to be saying I do.

Proceedings were supposed to start at 9:30, with candle lighting and so forth, and then the ceremony was scheduled for 10. In true wedding fashion, nothing happened on time, and after taking some pew decoration shots and the like, I stood around waiting. With all the other people who were doing various jobs. Like the sound guys. And father of the groom, who was also one of the ministers. The other minister was father of the bride.

I heard one of the other standers-around saying he was a photographer. He was talking about how much the company  he worked for charged clients for weddings, but that he got a good rate as the groom was family. I thought he too was a photographer at this wedding.

After taking some photos of father of the groom getting his ear piece microphone adjusted and put on (yeah, this church was high tech. Seriously, it was nuts. It  also had an indoor basketball court. I’m not even joking.), I awkwardly stood there for a bit, not knowing what to say. Then I mumbled something about talking to the other photographer about who will stand where when so we could get everything covered and not miss any good moments.

Father of the groom looked at me very strangely, didn’t really say anything, and then I awkwardly turned and went to speak to dude with camera.

“So you’re taking photos too?” I asked him.

“Kind of. I’ll be a little distracted. I have a newborn baby.”

“So you’re not taking photos of the wedding?”

“Just a little bit.”

“You’re not a photographer too?”

He looked at me weird. “No, no, you’re the only photographer, I won’t get in your way.”

“Oh, I just thought we could figure out who would be where when so they get the best photos.” He clearly thought I was annoyed at his having a camera. And confused by my questions. Sigh.

During the ceremony, my face went all funny from shutting just one eye to look through the viewfinder of my camera. It’s a job hazard you know. After a while, it started getting hard to shut my eye for any length of time. I.e. long enough to compose a photo properly.  Have you ever tried shutting just one eye for any length of time? It’s actually quite hard. My facial muscles are not down with such things.

Half way through the ceremony, I had to start using my other eye. But I’m not used to using that eye for looking through the view finder, so it took a bit of finagling to actually get the viewfinder in the right spot. I’m sure a least one person was watching me and wondering what the heck I was doing holding the camera up to my face and moving it around for a while like I was scratching an itch or something. Or maybe everyone was watching the wedding that happened to be taking place right then. Yes, that’s right, it’s not all about me….

Right after the ceremony, there was a morning tea reception. I took a bunch of posed extended family shots in the church while the guests enjoyed the morning tea, and then the bridal party was introduced and speeches commenced.

By that time, not only was my face twitching, but my wrist was getting quite sore too. Sure, it’s been like 5 months since I broke my wrist, but holding my digital SLR and pushing the shutter release button with that hand was not doing it any favours. I’d have to take some photos, then move my hand around. Take some photos, shake my hand. During speeches. Sigh.

My pants were a mile too long and too wide for me as well. But they were all I had. I haven’t needed business-y pants in over 3 years.

A few days ago, I clipped the nails on my left foot. They were getting way too long and annoying. But Daniel noticed me clipping my nails and he came over to see what was happening. He tried to steal the clippers, and then found my little pile of toenails (are you pulling a disgusted face right now? Yeah, I would be too, but you gotta put them somewhere while you’re clipping. Whatever.). I was only just fast enough to grab that little pile and dispose of it before he could get his chubby little fingers on them and then certainly try to eat them. He’s cheeky like that.

Point is, I only got one foot done. And then I never found the time to do the other one. The only shoes I had that were remotely reasonable to wear to a wedding were my black boots. The ones that are a bit too narrow for my duck feet (Thanks mom for those duck feet…). My feet were all squished up in there.

By the time speeches were taking place, my overgrown toe nails on one foot had started digging into the adjacent toes and making sores and blisters. The nail on my big toe was pressed up against the side of the boot and was getting quite painful.

So picture this: twitching face, camera moving all around my left eye as I tried to locate the viewfinder, flapping hand to relieve wrist pain, pant legs unfolding and going over my boots making me look ridiculous, pants falling down revealing my butt crack, half limping due to ridiculous toe nails and duck feet shoved into boots, AND tense body due to holding in a fart because I ate way too much of the junk food that was on offer for morning tea and I got a bit bloated. Sigh.

Ad: One Roll of Wedding Print Toilet Paper

After the formalities, I took photos of the food, people talking, etc. But the morning tea lasted ages, and I ran out of things and people to shoot. I sat there on a bench all by myself, staring into space with my ridiculous foot, twitching face, too long pants, held in fart, and exposed butt-crack.

I had nothing to do, nowhere to go, no one to talk to. Awkward.

A woman came up to me and asked me if I had everything I needed. I think she felt sorry for me. Or maybe she noticed my tense holding-in-a-fart face. She chatted for a bit and then made some excuses to skedaddle.

Then it was off to take the formal shots. I didn’t want to get lost, so I told the bride and groom I’d follow them. All was going well until about 100 meters after we got out of the parking lot. I had to wait for some cars to go by before I could get out. My GPS told me to turn. I couldn’t see the car I was supposed to be following until I got in the turn lane. There it was, not in the turn lane. Sigh. I couldn’t get back over, it was a really busy road and I was already past the line of cars waiting in the non-turn lane. Stupid GPS.

I got there eventually. After getting lost twice more. Luckily I decided (fine, my GPS did) to take an expensive toll road, which shaved some time off and I ended up pulling in just after the bridal party got out of their cars.

By that time we only had about 45 minutes of daylight left. Yes, I had 45 minutes to take all the formal shots which included 3 groomsmen, a junior groomsman, a 17-month old pageboy, 3 brides maids, a junior bridesmaid, and a flower girl. And the light was fading and I couldn’t use very much flash. Not to mention my foot and wrist issues.

“Say MONKEYS!!” I said all enthusiastically to the kids in vain attempt to induce smiling.

It didn’t work. I tried a few times. I didn’t have any toys to wave, or anything else to do. I didn’t have time to set up my tripod for every shot, attach a shutter release cable, and then do my crazy kid antics to get smiles.

So I said “Say monkeys!” many times.

“I don’t think they like saying monkeys.” Someone told me. Sigh.

The bride was fretting a bit. The train of her dress was starting to get a bit dirty. There were a few brownish-black marks on it.

“It’s ok, it happens to all brides. It’s just part of the day.” I told her. Seriously, it does.

I don’t think it helped.

I arranged the train of her dress for a photo.

“I think it’s poop on your dress. Yeah, it’s definitely bird poop.  Now it’s on my hand.” The bride gave me a horrified look.

Why did I say that? Yes, just what every bride wants to hear. Sigh. I’m so awkward.

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Copyright 2012 Sheri Thomson

Best. Wedding Speech. Ever.

Aaron and I don’t celebrate Valentines day. Instead, we celebrate Aaron and Sheri Day. The anniversary of the day we first started going out, 11 years ago yesterday.  Last year, I wrote about how we started going out.

So this year, I’m going to leave you with Michael’s (the best man) speech from our wedding. We didn’t even know if Michael was going to make a speech. I mean I know that’s what’s generally done, but we’d never spoken to him about it.

And boy did he pull it off:

Ok, well there was supposed to be a video here of the awesome speech, but I CAN’T FIND OUR WEDDING VIDEO ANYWHERE! Or any of our videos prior to 2008. Crap. That really, really sucks.

I guess I’ll just have to leave you with the two photos we took before going out to dinner last night. Sigh. I really wanted to show you the video.

Ok, so it's hard to get a photo without at least one child photo-bombing.

I'm not actually taller than Aaron (and neither of us are taller than anyone). He must be slouching.

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If you enjoyed reading this, please vote for my blog. All you have to do is click the link below. That’s it… And if you are an email subscriber, clicks from your email don’t count.  If you would like to vote, please go to my blog and vote from there. THANKS!

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Almost Wordless Wednesday: Best family photo ever

Almost 1 year ago today, The Jess got married.  As a last minute thought, we decided to get a family portrait.  Hannah (who was the flower girl) was just over 1 at the time, hadn’t had a nap all day, and was pretty much over it.  But the result: Best. Family. Photo. Ever.  I think so anyway.  This baby is framed in my living room, and cracks me up every single time I look at it.

From left: Aaron, Grandma, YaYa, Me

Sitting down: The Jess

On The Jess: Hannah (who just wants to get the heck out of there)

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The one where The Jess gets married

“I think Hannah is going to steal the spotlight at the wedding.”  I said to anyone who would listen.  We were at The Jess’ wedding rehearsal and Hannah was running anywhere and everywhere in the church, squealing, laughing, and getting the oldies to look at her.  Then she climbed over the little ledge, under the railing, and onto the stage.

The next day:

Waaaa!!!!!  I looked at the clock.  4:20-something am.  Hannah was crying.  Hang on, Hannah wasn’t there.  I was staying at Silvermere (where the wedding reception was) with The Jess.  Hannah was at home with Aaron.  Figures I’d dream about Hannah crying and actually wake up the one time I could have a non-interrupted sleep.  Stupid brain, stop being annoying….  No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get back to sleep.  The Jess was getting married!  Not to mention, the night before, when we were eating fish and chips and Heaven ice cream in bed while watching “Grease,” I saw an ad on tv letting me know that the Amazing Race was coming to Australia.  For the first time, Australians could apply!  I couldn’t stop thinking about what to put on the audition video.  Of course we have to apply, we’ve always wanted to go on the Amazing Race, but Aussies were never allowed (and I wasn’t allowed to apply as an American because I don’t live there).   My tossing and turning woke The Jess up.  Oops.  Sorry The Jess.

We were up, it was early, we were hungry.  Why not go to the supermarket in our pajamas (ok, that doesn’t sound so out there to you Americans, but Aussies just don’t EVER do that!)?  Pancakes and eggs sounded pretty good.  Unfortunately when we got back (after some funny looks.  It’s not every day Aussies see someone in bright pink pajamas with white stars on them at the supermarket) we couldn’t work out how to use the industrial gas stove at the house.  Humph, no pancakes and eggs.  Back up plan, to the bakery we went (still in pj’s).  We loaded up on chocolate croissants and some cheese and bacon rolls for later.  So hungry….

Our hair and make up was taking ages (well, mostly mine, hmmm…what does that say about me?).  And what to do with those short little spiky bits of annoying hair that sit in the very front of my head on each side?  I can see your screwed up what-the-heck-do-you-have-those-for faces from here.  Well, a couple of months after Hannah was born, a lot of my hair decided to take a vacation.  It’s been growing back for some time now, but is still annoyingly short and sticks out funny mostly at the very front.  Awesome.

I walked past the front window of the house and nearly jumped out of my top.  Oh wait, I wasn’t wearing one.  I looked outside to find Lozza and Marianne laughing at me.  It’s not everyday you see someone frantically running around a house with no shirt on.  Don’t get too excited, I was wearing a bra.  I had to take my shirt off because I only had tight non-buttoning shirts which would mess up my newly curled hair when taking them off if I left them on.  Oh well, everyone’s seen my boobs anyway.  That’s what happens when you breast feed for a year.  Lozza brought the bouquets (and did an amazing job putting them together by the way) for us.  Lucky she was there as we needed extra hands to help The Jess get into her dress.  It was no easy feat.  There was no way we could get the dress over her butt if she were to step in it (we know because we tried), so we had to get it over her head without a) messing up her hair and b) ruining her makeup.  Let’s just say we got a little friendlier than any of us intended (but she did end up with the dress on, makeup intact, and hair not very messed up).  By that stage we were 30 minutes behind when we intended to depart for the church.  Oh well, the bride is always supposed to be fashionably late right?  I quickly slipped into my hollywood fat sucker (body stocking from bottom of boobs down to just above knees, designed to, well, keep it all in), stuck on my “revolutionary” boob sticker bra (which turned out to be see-through as well.  Hmmm… the whole point in my wearing said stickers was to hide nipples.  Oh well) to my poor deflated I’ve-fed-a-baby-for-a-whole-year boobies, followed by my slinky see through (lucky I wore the fat sucker or everyone would see my goodies) bridesmaid dress.  Step b: shove my duck feet into thin nice looking heels (and hope I don’t trip as I tend to not wear heels due to duck feet, and probable falling over).

We must have looked an interesting sight on the way to the church.  Bride and bridesmaid in the back seat with flower girl in the baby seat (Violet, not Hannah), Chief Bridesmaid (aka me) driving, sans shoes (I can’t drive in heels, I can hardly walk on them!).  Not that anyone outside could see my feet….  When we got there (faster than expected luckily), some people were milling about outside.  I know The Jess is no bridezilla, she didn’t seem to mind, but I was rather annoyed.  These people were going to see The Jess before she walked down the aisle!  I wanted to run out of the car and cover all of their eyes.  I couldn’t of course because I probably would have tripped, broken my ankle, and made everyone think I’m a nutbag.

I was getting nervous and I wasn’t even the one getting married!!  My nervousness was more about having to stand up the front ignoring my daughter as she would probably try to get to me, while wearing heels that I was not allowed to take off for the entire ceremony.

We decided to carry the babies (Romana, the other bridesmaid’s daughter was also a flower girl) instead of letting them walk up the aisle with their too-cute flower girl baskets, mainly because they probably wouldn’t walk up the aisle (they never perform when you want them to),  and would quite possibly take off running in some other direction, sending us in a frenzy with high heels, probably falling over, breaking a bone, and showing the whole crowd our unsexy fat sucking undergarments and/or tried-to-cover-them-up nipples.

The wedding went off without a hitch (the babies had to be taken outside when they started getting loud so they didn’t interrupt), The Jess managed not to cry during the ceremony (as far as I could see, but then again, her back was towards me most of the time), and no one forgot the rings (although The Jess almost forgot hers).

I know I wasn’t the photographer, but I couldn’t help myself, I took lots of photos at the reception.  I also decorated the pavlovas, decorated the newlyweds’ car and posed for bridal party photos, so I was a busy woman.  I actually ate less at The Jess wedding then at my own!  It was a beautiful day, a beautiful ceremony, and a great reception.  I hope The Jess and Jimmy had a great day and a wonderful honeymoon.

Here are some photos for your enjoyment (some are mine, some are the photographers.  None of the ceremony shots are mine, FYI).  Most of the getting ready photos have been eaten by my stupid memory card so I’ll have to post those later, after Aaron works his computer nerd file recovery skills :

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