The daddy rash

I don’t usually post two days in a row, but then again, I don’t usually smell like calamine lotion. The bathroom smells like it, the bed smells like it, and most of all, Aaron smells like it.

It all started overnight Sunday/Monday. He kept scratching. And fidgeting.  And scratching some more. Tossing and turning because he was too darn itchy to sleep. He woke up, had a shower, and then announced that he needed to go to the doctor.

What?  “You want to go to the doctor?”  This must be serious.  Aaron never wants to go to the doctor.  He is a man.  Men don’t see the doctor (even though when they have man flu, men turn into 7 year olds).

He showed me his legs.   Ew.  They were all red and rashy.  It was on his arms, his torso, and his back too.  He couldn’t stop scratching.  Every step made him itchy.

Caladryl Lotion, Calamine Plus Itch Reliever, 6-Ounce Bottle

The doctor gave him some cream and a tablet and said he was having an allergic reaction to something.  The cream could only go on twice per day.  Twice per day?  Oh gosh, that’s not enough!

He woke up in the middle of the night last night itching some more.  Sorry, when I say he woke up, I mean he was already up, he hadn’t been able to get to sleep yet.  He woke me up with all his tossing, turning, scratching and fidgeting.

I slathered some way-too-runny calamine lotion all over him in attempt to stop the itchiness.  It was the consistency of water.  I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to be that runny.  Humph.  Again, that is what I get for buying the cheap stuff…. Note to self, stop being so cheap.

This morning, he woke up and it was worse.  The rash is now on his face, all over his entire body, all the way to his feet.  It’s

The angry rash (and this was yesterday, its worse today)

even on the palms of his hands.  It looks like an angry red monster ate him up, spit him out, and then flogged him with the stinging variety of jellyfish.

Back to the doctor.  Well, a different doctor.  My doctor.  Not the one up the road who is more concerned with seeing the highest number of patients possible in the least amount of time (thus making more money…), rather than actually fixing/curing/helping people.

My doctor says it’s something he ate or inhaled.  Gave him a different prescription and told him cream will not help, as it isn’t something he touched.  Sigh.

Now he is laying about the bedroom buck-naked so no clothing is touching his skin, and trying his darndest not to move (so he doesn’t get too itchy).  Oh, and did I mention the doc said he isn’t allowed to scratch anymore?

Sure, he could attempt to go to work, but let’s think about that for a minute:

He’s riding the train.  The trains are packed.  People cram themselves in like sardines.  The person next to him accidentally brushes against him.  SO ITCHY.  He can’t take it anymore, he scratches.  Everyone stares.  The itchiness has spread.  The rash gets angrier.  People are still staring.  They start to move away, eyes wide with wonderment of what disease he may be carrying and giving to them.  Is it leprosy? Crabs?  Ringworm?  Plague?

He gets to the station.  He has to walk to work from there.  His pants are rubbing on his legs.  Oh gosh, the itchiness!  Every step is agony.  It’s not like an itchy mosquito bite, it’s like a constant feeling of being on fire, far itchier than any bug bite.

He gets to work.  Tries to be productive.  Don’t scratch.  Don’t scratch.  So itchy.  Don’t scratch.  Oh my gosh, kill me now.  Don’t scratch.  Everyone thinks he’s radioactive or something.  They stay away, don’t talk to him.  In his distracted state, something on the website he is working on now has a giant banner reading “Penis” instead of “Pens.”  The mere act of typing makes the rash on his hands explode with itchiness.

“I’m so itchy!”  Aaron just told me.  “It’s enough to make me go crazy.”

Let’s hope he’s better tomorrow, and that none of his limbs fall off.

UPDATE:

Aaron hardly slept at all last night and his rash was not any better this morning.  He went to the doc who gave him stronger antihistimines to take with the other pills.  It seems to be improving….. we’ll see.  It still looks angry and red.

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UPDATE:

Friday (he got the rash Sunday overnight): Finally it seems to be clearing and didn’t spend the day naked sitting on the edge of his chair (because his back against the chair would be far too itchy) with a fan on full blast, pointing directly on him (because getting too hot makes the rash/itchiness worse, being cool makes it slightly better, even if you are shivering and have goosebumps.  Hey, it’s better than the unbearable itching).  I think it’s finally starting to go away.

The doc said that if it’s not clear by Tuesday he will have to be referred to an allergy specialist for tests, as it would be something he is being perpetually exposed to.  Some theories on the matter are: Something in the garage, as the rash appeared the day after cutting, jackhammering, sweeping, etc. the garage, and who knows what could have been lurking in there.  The funny asian mushrooms we had in our Chinese fondue dinner that night, we’ve never eaten them before (but then why hasn’t the rash gone away yet?  At least with the garage, he’s going in and out all the time because that is where the car lives).  And of course, our final theory; Aaron’s mum.  She’s visiting at the moment (staying with us), and wears some uh…interesting creams, lotions and potions.  She’s going home tomorrow, so we’ll see if the rash finally clears up.  If it does, it will be hilarious to be able to say that Aaron is allergic to his Mum….

UPDATE: 1 week + 1 day after rash appeared – The rash is visually gone, but Aaron is still itchy.  Not that up-all-night-drives-you-completely-crazy itchy, like it was before, but still itchy none the less.  The cause is still a mystery.