Tag Archives: terrible bumper stickers


18 Dec

I was driving down the highway yesterday when I spotted a Lancer with horribly ugly stickers across the side and in the back window. The side sticker said in giant letters, “custom.” Um… yes, awesome, you customised your Lancer, why don’t you broadcast it to the world through an oversized, fluro green sticker across the whole side of your car? You are so cool.

As the custom Lancer sped past me, I read the giant fluro green sticker in the back window. “SEXY MILF.” I’m not even joking, that is what it said. Under the sexy milf sticker, was a  line of those stick family characters, a man, a woman, and 2 kids.

Oops, I forgot to draw the spoiler/wing

Oops, I forgot to draw the spoiler/wing

Now I’m sorry, but wouldn’t you be embarrassed to step out of a car that read “SEXY MILF?” Conceited much?

Sexy Milf was driving like a lunatic (hopefully not with her kids in the car), weaving in and out of traffic without the use of a blinker (is it really that hard to put your blinker on?), tailgating, and going at least 20kph over the speed limit, which, I might add, was already 80kph.

I could see heads turning in all the cars in front of me as the sexy milf drove crazily around them. Maybe they were muttering expletives to themselves as she sped past, or maybe they were attempting to catch a glimpse of the sexy milf herself.

Is she really sexy? After she passed me, I tried to get next to her at the next set of lights so I could see for myself. But the sexy milf is a crazy driver and I couldn’t get anywhere near.

I wonder if the sexy milf’s kids are anything like Hannah. “Mommy, what does that say?” They’d ask if they are. And what would the sexy milf say in reply?

“Um… that says Sexy MILF.”

“What does that mean, Mommy?” they’d enquire in all their innocence.



I certainly hope her kids are not of reading age. How mortified they would be riding around in a car with THEIR MOM, that said Sexy MILF. Then their friends would read the stickers when she came to pick them up from school, which would either drive the friends to make inappropriate remarks about the sexy milf, or tease/bully those poor kids mercilessly.


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