Poop at McDonalds

It was stinking hot on the very first day of 2013. So stinking hot that our brand new fridge stopped working, and we couldn’t go on our planned outing to the Regatta Centre for bike riding.  Instead, we were stuck at home with no air conditioning.

Hang on, McDonalds was open on Christmas Day (I know, crazy, right?), so of course McDonalds would be open.

“I want an ice cream cone, please mommy?!” Hannah told me. She does love ice cream.

We got our treats and went to the covered playground.

“A birdy!” Daniel kept pointing excitedly at the bird lingering on the fence, no doubt hoping for a bit of our frozen treats.

“A birdy!”

Despite the presence of many tubes and slides and things to climb on, the kids preferred the cubby house, with Daniel stealing my shoes and hiding in there gleefully, and Hannah pretending it was her ice cream shop.

After playing for half an hour or so, Hannah came out of the cubby house “I have to go potty, Mommy.”

“Ok, I’ll gather our things and we can go potty and then come back out to play.”

I found my shoes and zipped up my backpack. “Ok, let’s go.”

“I don’t have to go right now.”

“Um…ok. Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

They continued playing, Daniel with his giggles, and Hannah selling me pretend ice cream.

A little bit later, she came out of the cubby house, a concerned look on her face.  She stood still and reached behind her, grabbing at the bottom of her underpants.

“Mommy, I think I did a bit of poo,” she told me, looking at her finger. As my mind processed what she was actually looking at on her finger, I could see it moving steadily toward her dress.

“DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING!!!! DON’T WIPE YOUR FINGER ON YOUR DRESS! I’LL WIPE IT FOR YOU!!” She looked at me, slightly startled and didn’t move a muscle.

I grabbed the wipes out of my backpack, as fast as humanly possible and scrubbed her poopy finger with it.

Checking her underwear, I found a little bit of squidgy poop. Not much. Just a shart (you know, a fart where a little s%*t comes out). “Did you think you just had to do a toot?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s ok, sweetie, let’s go to the bathroom and clean you up.”

I carried Daniel while Hannah followed me, waddling awkwardly, as if she was trying to walk without her underpants touching her legs, and attracting stares as we went.

I didn’t have any plastic bags or anything with me, since she’s been potty trained and accident free for 2 months now.

“No mommy, don’t throw them away!!” Hannah yelled when I put her soiled underpants in the nappy bin.  I didn’t really have a choice, I wasn’t about to have poopy underwear floating around in my backpack.

She put a new pair of undies on and we went back out to play. Poor sausage, it’s hard to teach them about sharts.

If you enjoyed reading this, please vote for my blog. All you have to do is click the link below. That’s it… Clicking the link brings you to the Top Mommy Blogs home page. You don’t have to do anything else. Any clicks from my site to theirs is a vote.  THANKS!

Like my blog? ‘Like’ it on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mommy-Adventures/203964682967827?ref=tn_tnmn

Pin It You officially have my permission to pin this (as long as it links back to my site).  Just don’t act like you wrote it. Because you didn’t….

Copyright 2012 Sheri Thomson

Ball in the toilet

The weather has been so nice recently. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. Or making obnoxious noises. Bloody birds. We can wear shorts without being too cold or dripping with sweat. So of course we want to be outside.

We don’t have a yard (or even a balcony), so we invite ourselves to Grandma’s house when we feel like getting our hands dirty. The backyard is filled with all sorts of kids’ things. A slide, cubby house, tricycles, mini trampoline, etc. Not to mention my vegetable garden.

My purple pea plant. It’s so big it grew over it’s support fence. The pea pods are a deep purple colour. Awesome, I know.

The kids also love seeing Grandma (and YaYa, when she’s there) when we visit. Hannah especially. Hannah adores Grandma.

Last time we went, Grandma wasn’t there. No worries, I have a key. We played anyway. I got out Hannah’s tunnel and the kids spent most of their time pushing balls inside the tunnel and giggling.

Melissa & Doug Happy Giddy Tunnel

I got all this stuff before Daniel was born. Hence all the pink and purple…

“Mommy, I have to go poo poo!” Hannah yelled. She clearly needed to go right then, too busy playing to notice or acknowledge the need to go before she really needed to.

At home she’d just let herself into the bathroom. But at Grandma’s house, the door handles tower above her head. She can’t even remotely reach them. I had to go with her.

“Ok, I just have to get Daniel. Just hold it a little longer baby!”

Daniel was in the tunnel. He saw me coming towards him and decided to crawl as fast as he could to the middle, giggling as he went.

“DANIEL! Come on bud, you have to come out now.” He kept going towards the other side. Thinking I could outsmart a 1 year old,  I ran over to the other end of the tunnel to nab him and bring him inside with us. I couldn’t leave him out there by himself. He likes to climb the cement steps that have no fence on the sides and could easily fall face first off the top. I know because when Hannah was little, she did that once. Except there happened to be a wheelbarrow full of weeds right next to the stairs, so she didn’t get hurt.

As I got to the end of the tunnel, he giggled and crawled to the other side again. Did I mention how cheeky my son is?

“Mommy, it’s too late!” Hannah was grabbing her butt through her pants upset that there was something besides her butt to grab. (I’m glad she wasn’t grabbing inside her pants….)

“Ok baby, I’m just trying to get Daniel, hold the rest in if you can!”

Cheeky boy was still going end to end in the tunnel, giggling all the while. I picked up one end of the tunnel and held it in the air so he couldn’t run around it anymore.

“Ha! Got you!” He tried to escape, but my grip was too strong. I carried him inside with one of the pink balls in his hand.

I looked in Hannah’s underwear. 1 little nugget.

I pulled down her underpants, nugget still inside and put her on the little potty. Daniel was running around at the other end of the bathroom, pulling on all the towels.

I opened the lid of the toilet and brought the underwear over the bowl, shaking to remove the nugget.

“NO DANIEL!!!!”

He came out of nowhere. Cheeky little ninja boy.

I could see the bright pink ball in my peripheral vision, quickly going from chubby baby hand to water in the toilet bowl.

I reached out with the hand that wasn’t holding the underwear in attempt to grab the ball before it went in the toilet.

But it all happened so fast.

I missed.

Just as I reached out with my non-underwear holding hand, the poo nugget fell from the undies, hitting my arm at the same time the ball hit the toilet water.

Sigh.

If you enjoyed reading this, please vote for my blog. All you have to do is click the link below. That’s it… Clicking the link brings you to the Top Mommy Blogs home page. You don’t have to do anything else. Any clicks from my site to theirs is a vote.  THANKS!

Like my blog? ‘Like’ it on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mommy-Adventures/203964682967827?ref=tn_tnmn

Pin It You officially have my permission to pin this (as long as it links back to my site).  Just don’t act like you wrote it. Because you didn’t….

Copyright 2012 Sheri Thomson

The ninja nuggets

Hannah is finally starting to poop on the potty. It’s only been…hmm…I can’t even remember, but way too long. I’ve cleaned up way too much poo. Ick. Sigh.

And by starting, I mean only just. As in the day before yesterday. Seems marshmallows are worth sitting on the toilet for.  Especially the pink ones.

This morning started out well. There was no vomit (because yesterday, there was lots. Ick. I hate vomit. But you all know that well enough by now), Hannah was drinking and eating and playing.

But then I smelled something. Something icky. Something poop-ish. Ick. I thought it was Daniel. A quick smell through his clothes proved otherwise.

“Hannah, do you have to poop?”

“No.”

“Are you just doing stinky toots?”

“No.”

“Who’s making those smells?” Hannah asked me. Usually she admits when she farts. Or poops. Or both. I didn’t think it was her, I thought Daniel must just be farting and not pooping.

I kept smelling it. Hannah’s back was to me.

And there it was. A protrusion from her pants. A clear as day poo coming out (or already out) outline. Ick.

I took her to the bathroom and checked her underpants. A poo nugget had already been freed in there. I stood her on the toilet, one foot on each side and pulled her underwear down, and towards the front of the toilet, in one quick fluid movement. That’s the best way to not get poo on myself, herself, and/or our surroundings. The poo nugget dropped nicely in the toilet without touching anything. Yeah, underpants emptying is a good skill to have. It’s taken me a long time to develop it. Sigh.

“Are you done pooping? Do you need to do some more?” I asked her.

“I need to do some more.” She told me. I sat her down on the toilet, her special I-don’t-want-my-child-to-fall-in smaller seat fitted to the inside of the normal seat.

I stepped towards the door to go get the iPad. Watching Mickey Mouse helps her poop. Whatever works right?

I felt something under my foot. It didn’t feel like a towel. Or clothes. Or a rubber ducky, a bottle of shampoo, a washcloth, a hairbrush, or anything that may be accidentally lying about the bathroom floor (and by accidentally, I mean a toddler and/or cheeky baby put it there).

It felt wrong. Like when I stepped on it, it was one height, and then it shrank as the weight of my foot beat down on it.

I lifted my foot, panic filling me. I knew what it must be. But I was still hoping it wasn’t.

I looked down. And there it was. A squished poo nugget. Ick.

I saw the nugget from her underwear fall into the toilet. How on earth did that one get there? Oh my gosh, I stepped in poo. Human poo. Ick.

I wiped it up with some toilet paper and flushed it away before immediately scrubbing the floor with disinfectant. Seriously, how did it get there?

A few hours later Hannah told me she had to poop.

“It’s coming out of my bottom!” She screeched.

We ran to the bathroom. Part of it was already loose in her underpants. We did the whole standing-on-toilet-seat thing again. Again, the poo went in the toilet and then I sat her down and headed towards the door.

Splat. Oh frick. Not again. 

I picked up my foot. Crap (literally). Those darn ninja nuggets struck again. How could I step on poop TWICE in one day?!?!?! HOW DID THEY GET THERE???!!!! Luckily I was wearing socks. Both times.

Sigh.

Maybe I’m not so skilled at dropping poop from Hannah’s underpants into the toilet. Double sigh.

If you enjoyed reading this, please vote for my blog. All you have to do is click the link below. That’s it… And if you are an email subscriber, clicks from your email don’t count.  If you would like to vote, please go to my blog and vote from there. THANKS!

Like my blog? ‘Like’ it on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mommy-Adventures/203964682967827?ref=tn_tnmn

Pin It You officially have my permission to pin this (as long as it links back to my site).  Just don’t act like you wrote it. Because you didn’t….

Copyright 2012 Sheri Thomson

Getting Daddy back

Finally, Hannah is potty trained.  Ok fine, she’s pee potty trained.  Not so much poo potty trained.  Sigh.  Those still turn up in her undies.  I can clearly see a large protrusion hanging in her undies.  I can smell the offending object.

“Did you do a poo poo?”  I ask her.

“No, I didn’t do a poo poo.” She told me, clearly knowing that she did.

“Yes you did.  I can see that you did.”

She then reaches her little hand around to her bottom and goes in for a feel.

“NOOO!!! DON’T PUT YOUR HAND IN YOUR BUTT!!!” I yell to her.  Ugh. I don’t want to have to clean poo out from under fingernails.  Ick.

So yeah, still working on that.

Anyway…

A while ago, when she was still learning to pee on the potty, she was often wetting herself around the house.  And yes, it was kinda gross and I was constantly armed with carpet cleaner and a rag.  But she treated pull-ups like a nappy, so the only way forward was to stick her in underpants.  And let her wet herself to get a grasp on what it felt like.  It worked by the way.

Hannah was climbing all over Daddy.  Giggling and jumping and giggling some more.

Suddenly she stopped.  This slightly frightened/surprised/what-do-I-do look came across her face.

“SHE’S PEEING ON ME!!!!!!!” Aaron shouted.

She was standing over his leg, one of her legs on each side of Aaron’s.  Frozen in place like a little deer in headlights, pee rushing out of her, drenching Aaron’s leg.

And I could not stop laughing. I stood there just watching and laughing, and watching some more.  Yeah, yeah, I’m horrible. Whatever, it was hilarious!

“HAHAHAHAHA, I guess she got him back then!” one of my friends said when I told her about it.

Yeah, I guess she did. She definitely got him back for this. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Still makes me laugh.

If you enjoyed reading this, please vote for my blog. All you have to do is click the link below. That’s it…

Like my blog? ‘Like’ it on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mommy-Adventures/203964682967827?ref=tn_tnmn

Pin It You officially have my permission to pin this (as long as it links back to my site).  Just don’t act like you wrote it. Because you didn’t….

Copyright 2012 Sheri Thomson

Embarrassing mommy moments

1. You forget to wear breast pads and your baby cries in public (or you think about your baby, etc.).

My graphics tablet is broken, so I had to do this the old school way: with the mouse part of the macbook. Yeah, not easy.

2. You are in the bathroom with your toddler and she announces to the world that you are doing a poo.

3. You’re heavily pregnant and at the shops when you get a bit gassy. And you can’t hold it in….

4. You’re on the bus and your toddler declares that “that guy is funny looking.”

5. You smell like baby vomit, but you’re so used to it that you don’t even notice. Until a someone points it out.

6. You forget that you wrapped a nappy in a towel to carry it back to the car after a morning at the beach. Then you take the towel load out of the washing machine and discover little gelatinous balls all over everything.

7. You keep smelling poop, but all nappy checks come up clean. You follow your nose and discover a poo nugget under the couch. How in the world did a poo nugget get under the couch????????

8. Your toddler has just started potty training and you’re at the shops.  You notice that she’s wet herself but you don’t know exactly when or where. There might be a puddle of piddle somewhere in the store, but you’re not really sure, and too embarrassed to go tell someone anyway.  So you hope there is no puddle, and if there is that no one slips in it, and go in search of the nearest bathroom.

9. You are teaching your toddler the proper names for body parts, and she likes to point males out and say “Mommy, that is a boy, he has a penis and testicles,” and for girls “mommy, that is a girl, she has a vagina.” Loudly. In public.

10. You are wearing a dress, or skirt when your child decides it’s time for hide and seek.  The only place to hide is under Mommy’s skirt.  She pulls it right up as she giggles madly and puts it over her head.

I know there are way more embarrassing mommy moments, so please do share….

Please click the link below which casts a vote for my blog. THANKS!

The life of a zombie

Daniel has been waking once per night for a feed.  Once per night is pretty easy to cope with.  Get him up, feed him for a little bit while I check my emails and stuff on the iPad, put him back to bed.  But then it got hot.  From 30-36 celcius (86-96.8).  Ick.  Did I mention we don’t have an airconditioner?  So Danny boy wants more booby.  Fair enough, when it’s hot, you need more to drink.  He’s been waking at least twice per night for a feed, and then another time around 5 when it’s 15 degrees outside (59f) and starting to get a little cool in their room.  Whenever I put a blanket on Daniel, he kicks his legs about like he’s riding an invisible bicycle in the tour de France.  I end up taking him in the bed with Me and Aaron so he can cuddle me instead of having a little blanket, and so he can have free rein of my boob so we can both get some sleep.

Now I’m pretty much in a zombie state.  Minus the brain cravings of course.  Just walking around, going through the motions while half asleep.

 

Thank goodness it’s much cooler tonight.  Hopefully we’ll get some shut eye.  Sigh.

 

Don’t forget to vote once per day to keep me at the top.THANKS!

Another embarrassing moment….

Maybe Aaron and I should be a bit more careful of what we leave lying around in our room….

And yes, she actually said that. Sigh.

Don’t forget to vote once per day. THANKS!

And the winner is….

Thanks to everyone who entered the Fill in the Blankie competition!  All of the entries made me giggle, and my impartial 3rd party has reached a decision. And the winner is (drumroll please)….

Erika, with this entry:

I think my most embarrassing moment with my 13 month old was at dinner a few weeks ago. We went out for my friends birthday with her and her 18 month old. My son finds it hilarious to throw his food on the floor or at me instead of eating it. Our cat fully benefits from this at home but in public it’s not so nice. Well, I am distracted and talking to my friend, catching up on life and I did not realize that my son was not eating quietly like I imagined. He was instead, putting spaghetti, ever so quietly, in the hair of the women behind us. He managed to put 4 long strands in her hair before my friend noticed! I was so embarrassed when I told this poor women that he was gently putting spaghetti in her hair. I’m still not entirely sure how she did not notice/feel this, but she was not exactly nice about the revelation!

Don’t forget to vote once per day. THANKS!

Oh my gosh, ICK!

Potty training is not going well.  Hannah refuses to sit on the potty, or even wear her underwear.  So, I’ve decided to not make a big deal of it and train her when she thinks she’s ready.  In the mean time, I’ve been doing some pre-training things.  Fine, one thing.  I’ll work on the rest later….

Hannah used to be petrified of her poop.  The first time I tried to potty train her months and months ago, she pooped in the potty on the very first try.  But then she looked at it.  She’d never seen poop before.  The thought to show her her poop had never crossed my mind.  She freaked out.  It was like that poop turned into some sort of evil, crazy, I’m-gonna-eat-you poo monster.  She didn’t want to sit on the potty after that.

I started showing her her poop.  Now she wants to see it every single time.  So I upped the ante.  I started taking her to the bathroom and dumping the poo out of her nappy in to the toilet.  Then I shut the lid and flush.

All was going well until it happened.

I opened the lid, dumped the nappy contents….

Plop.  Splash.  Oh.  My.  Gosh. A drop of toilet water attacked me.  It came right out of that poo-laden potty and hit me.  In the face.  Right next to my mouth.  EW!!!!!!!!