poop all over the couch | Mommy Adventures

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The messy couch

“Daniel, time to get your jammies on. Come here you cheeky monkey!”

I went to the living room where he was giggling on the couch, please with himself for running away from his jammies.

“Daniel… I’m going to find you!” I giggled as I walked towards the couch.

“What have you been getting in….” My voice trailed off as I saw the mess all over the couch. At first glance, it looked like he’d found himself a nice chocolate oatmeal cookie, chewed on, then spat it out and smeared it all over the couch.

Except we didn’t have any chocolate oatmeal cookies. Or any chocolate or cookies for that matter.

He looked at me with a giant smile spread across his face, his legs, arms, covered in the stuff that resembled half eaten chocolate oatmeal cookies. It was all over the seat of the couch, the back of the couch, and the side cushion too.

As soon as my voice trailed off, I knew what it was. I don’t know how it happened. He was wearing a nappy. Not pants though. It was hot that day and we were at home, so he didn’t really need to wear pants.

I picked him up, with one of my arms under his armpits, and the other one holding his feet as if he were a calf at the rodeo. I tried to hold him as far away from my body as possible, but it didn’t matter. By the time we got to the bathroom, my pants were also covered in poop.

Did I mention we had 5 guests over for dinner at the time, and dinner was fresh off the BBQ (because we have a yard now and can actually have a BBQ) and ready to be served?

I stood Daniel in the bathtub, taking his nappy that had just as much poop on the outside as it did on the inside. Again, I’m not quite sure how that happened. As soon as I got it off and into a bag that I yelled for Aaron to bring me, I turned on the water.

Unfortunately, the bathtub did not come with a plug, so I have been using a silicone cupcake wrapper in the meantime. I did actually buy a plug, after measuring the hole it needs to fit into, but we all know how I suck at measuring, and the plug didn’t fit.

I adjusted the water temperature and saw Daniel’s arm going towards his bottom. “NO DANIEL! DON’T GRAB ANY….” But I was too late, he already had a fist full of poop.

One very soapy bath with rinsing straight from the tap rather than the bathwater later, Daniel was cleaned up. The bathtub was also scrubbed and disinfected, and the couch cushion covers are currently in the washing machine awaiting their third soak/wash cycle with laundry detergent and disinfectant. Hopefully I will be able to laugh at this incident in the near future, but now if I think about it, it just makes me cringe.

I will post something about moving and the new house soon, when I unpack the DSLR and can take some proper photos. Oh, and my debate is tomorrow. Trying not to wet my pants as we speak (er…write).

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