Outwitted by a 4 year old

As I lift my eyes from my own bowl of food that I’m hungrily downing, I can tell Hannah doesn’t want to even try her dinner.  She gets two options on her plate, one of which she has to eat all of.  After an initial screaming session which included sitting at the table until bedtime, since we introduced the choose one and eat it all practice, she’s been eating like a champion.  But I can tell she is struggling with these particular options; a very small amount of mustard chicken, or half of a prawn gyoza.  There is also the optional brown rice.

“You know, I didn’t used to like peas, but Daddy and I decided that I should eat vegetables to be a good example to you guys.”  I tell Hannah as she stares at her dinner in disgust. “So you know what I did?”

“What?” She asks me.

“I used to put some peas in my mouth, then drink something nice straight away to wash down the peas and not taste them much.”

A look of concentration crosses her face as she digests what I’ve just told her.

“And after a while, I didn’t mind eating peas.  I actually like them now.”

“How about you get your chocolate milk out of the fridge, and you can try it too?”

She looks excited and runs to the fridge.  She doesn’t usually get chocolate milk, but I got two single serves in a show bag at the Easter show.

She takes a bite of her dinner and then washes it straight down with chocolate milk.

My bite, drink, swallow trick works and she starts eating her dinner.

“What stuff do you still don’t like?” She asks me.

“Hmm…Well, I still don’t like beef.” I tell her.

“So you could do this with beef.” She says matter of fact whilst looking me straight in the eyes.

Oh snap.

I can’t tell her that I won’t eat it, whilst I’m sitting next to her, making her eat a dinner she really doesn’t like. “Yes, when we have beef, I can take bites and wash it down with something yummy.  We can do it together.”

She looks at me and smiles, happy in the knowledge that I will have to gag down my dinner too.

Remind me not to make beef for a very long time.

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Copyright 2014 Sheri Thomson

Hannah eats

Every year, on Boxing Day, we go to our friend’s house with some other friends and enjoy a nice dinner together to celebrate Christmas.  This year, my friend’s brother was visiting from overseas, so he was there too. He also happens to be a child psychologist who specialises in getting kids to eat.

Needless to say, I told him about Hannah’s fussy eating, how we get her to try stuff with a rewards chart, and how she only ever tries a tiny bite and that’s it, etc. etc.

And then, he blew our minds.

He told us a couple strategies to get Hannah eating.  We picked the one that sounded most likely to work best with her, asked him a million questions about it, and then went for it, knowing that at first, it would be really hard and no matter how many tears were shed, we couldn’t give in.  I don’t know what age range this strategy is suitable for, but Hannah is 4, and it has worked wonders for her.

Every night (we only do this at dinner time), we give her two options on her plate.  She has to eat all of one of them.  There is also a third thing on her plate that she likes.  She can eat it if she wants, but doesn’t have to.  It’s just there to make sure she has enough to eat.

At first, the amount of food in the “have to eat it” all pile is not very much, and the amount in the “already likes it” pile is substantial.  Gradually, the amount in the “has to eat it” pile increases as the “already likes it” pile decreases.

The child feels like they have a lot of control because he/she gets to choose which option they eat all of, and the adult knows that no matter which option he/she chooses, it’s healthy and means progress has been made.  We have been doing two options that the rest of us have on our plates anyway.  For example, some of the chicken or fish or whatever will be one option, and then the salad or veggies the other (you’d be amazed at how many different veggies and different cooking methods there are.  It isn’t the same thing every night).

The first night, we started Hannah off pretty easy as one of the options was peas, corn, and carrots.  She likes peas, corn, and carrots, but only if they are straight from the freezer.  These ones were cooked.  I can’t remember what the other option was, but she chose the cooked vegetables.

Here is the catch:  She can’t get down from the table until she eats all of one of her two options.  If she’s still sitting at the table when bed time comes, she has to go straight to bed. No playing, no TV, etc.  It’s sit there for an hour and a half not eating, or eat and get down and play with us.

On that very first night, Daniel finished his food, so he got down and played with Aaron while I sat at the table supervising Hannah.  We told her that she couldn’t get down until one of her options was eaten.  After everyone else was finished, I didn’t talk to her, or interact with her, I just sat there next to her. It’s not supposed to be an extra attention thing.  As she screamed next to me while I read a magazine, I could see her slowly eating the veggies between screams out of the corner of my eye.  I continued to ignore her and read my magazine.

Though screaming and crying, she finished those vegetables with about 20 minutes to spare before bed time.  We made sure to do something fun, all together, just because we had time to before bed.

The second night, one of her options was roasted vegetables (capsicum, mushrooms, tomatoes, and zucchini, also with roasted feta cheese), or salmon.  She sat there until bed time, crying, screaming, saying it wasn’t fair, etc. etc.  Aaron and I took turns sitting next to her, but not engaging with her, just reading or doing our own thing.  It was so incredibly hard, but we knew we had to do it for her own good.  We had to be strong and not cave in. When bed time rolled around, we quickly got her ready for bed at the table, and then she went straight to bed.

She has eaten all of one of her options every night since then, mostly with no tears or fuss.  Last night she told Aaron not to talk to her so she could just eat her food and get it done, while Daniel and I were still at the table eating, (and having family conversations to make dinner a fun family time).  She now loves salad and most vegetables.  One night, we had chicken burgers and one of her options was 1/4 of one.  I’m not just talking about the patty either, I mean the patty, the wholegrain bun, the tomatoes, the avocado, the lettuce, the onion, the mushroom, and the cheese.  She ate the whole thing, which for her, is pretty much a miracle.

Usually, she sticks to the vegetable option so we put heaps of vegetables for that choice (and if we have them, nuts and/or seeds), and for the second option, a little bit, maybe a couple of mouthfuls of chicken/fish/pork whatever protein we’re having, cooked however I cooked it and with whatever marinades/sauces/etc. for the rest of us.  She still usually goes for the vegetables, but recently, she has been trying the other option just to try it. I’m happy if she fills herself with vegetables that are full of nutrients, and I’m happy if she tries some meat, so it’s a win win, no matter which option she chooses.

Hannah helped me make the salad, and added more to her plate than I had on there for her because “she really likes it” now. It has: lettuce (home grown), tomatoes, cucumber, avocado, pea sprouts, grated carrot, and olive oil. On the right is a piece of home made chicken meat loaf, and the thing she can eat if she wants that she already likes is mashed potato.

Every night she tells us that she is going to eat her dinner really fast so we have time to do something fun.  Sometimes we go for a walk to the park, sometimes we play a game, or play in the sprinkler outside, but we always do something fun together after dinner. Not as a reward for eating, but because we have the time.

I’m still flabbergasted by the whole thing, I can’t believe how well it has worked.  She hasn’t been traumatised by it, and actually seems to have more confidence now, and more interest in helping me cook.  She keeps telling us how good she is at eating now, with a huge smile on her face, and she no longer dreads dinner time.  Mind. Blown.

You can follow our progress on Instagram #hannaheats (user name sherismommyadventures), where I post a photo of her food and which option she chose every night.

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Copyright 2014 Sheri Thomson

Ensuring nutrition in picky kids

“You make yucky dinners, Mommy.” Hannah told me last night.

“You don’t know they’re yucky because you don’t actually try them.” I told her.

“I do know they’re yucky, I can smell the yucky.  You make yucky dinners.  Why can’t you make yummy things for dinner?”  And by yummy, she means plain pasta with a bit of cheese, Vegemite sandwiches, or crackers.

Hannah’s lack of a varied diet is something we struggle with every single day.  For a long time, our rewards chart system was working wonders.  If she tried her dinner, she would get a magnet on the rewards chart.  A week of trying her dinner entitled her to a reward that we predetermined together.  Sure, she would just take the one bite, and half the time gag and gag whilst making hideous why-are-you-torturing-me-this-is-the-most-disgusting-thing-I’ve-ever-eaten-in-my-life faces, but for us, that was progress.  We thought that if she tried things often enough, one day, she might actually come to like them.

She does eat fruit, carrots, and frozen pea, corn and carrot mixes (she will only eat them if they are frozen) occasionally.  Meat, on the other hand, is non-existant in her diet.  No fish, no beef, no pork, not even chicken, apart from the occasional nibble she will take out of a chicken nugget.

Consequently, we’ve been giving her a nutritionally complete powder mixed with her milk after breakfast so that we know she is getting some protein and iron in her diet.  She thinks she is getting a treat, since we got the chocolate flavoured powder, and we get peace of mind, knowing that she is not going to be malnourished.  It’s a win-win. (Some are not suitable for children, check the label to make sure).

Oh my goodness, I can get this in pudding form?! I do love pudding….

One such nutritionally complete powder, Ensure, is available pretty much world wide, and comes in many forms.  Like pudding.  Yes, pudding.  So if you have a kid who doesn’t like to drink stuff, but loves desert, you can just give him/her some pudding. Brilliant.

Ensure can also be used to help manage constipation (the very reason we got a powder with extra fibre for Hannah), after surgery when the patient can’t have solids, for people who can’t chew properly, as a post-exercise drink, and has many other uses as well.

Of course, obtaining all of your nutrition from fresh, healthy food is ideal, but that’s not always possible, especially in kids and elderly people, so having an alternative is wonderful, and often, life saving.

*This post was brought to you by Ensure Canada.

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Copyright 2013 Sheri Thomson

Tips for picky eaters

When Hannah was little, she used to eat any puree I put on her little spoon.  She loved any and all food. I can’t pinpoint when, or how it happened, but now she is fussy.  Really fussy.  It drives me nuts.  She’s been this way for at least two years now, and instead of gradually getting better, it just gets worse.  I fear that she isn’t getting enough vitamins, minerals, and protein to sustain her and keep her healthy.  I know it’s not just Hannah though, eating is a huge problem.  According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, 50% of toddlers aged 2-4 are picky eaters (up from 19% of under twos), which accounts for 95% of all picky eaters.

Lucky for me (and probably you too), I received some picky eater tips, and got some of my own questions answered by Kate Samela, Paediatric nutritionist, mom of two, and author of Give Peas a Chance: The Foolproof Guide to Feeding Your Picky Toddler, which was name a “mom must read” by Parents.com.

One of Kate’s tips is using kids’ favorite textures (not tastes!) to expand their eating habits. The goal is to try and identify foods that are similar in texture and consistency to foods that he already accepts and that have the same “mouth feel”.  The familiar and accepted texture can be a bridge to a new flavor or food acceptance.

If they like …

Crunchy/Salty: Instead of Cheerios or Goldfish, try Terra Stix or mini rice cakes

Sweet and Squishy: Instead of pancakes, try freeze-dried fruit cubes or sweet breads like pumpkin or zucchini

Smooth and Slippery: Instead of string cheese, try a yogurt smoothie or pudding

Soft/Mushy: Instead of mac and cheese, try sweet potato pancakes or oven-baked eggplant parmesan

• Offer the food with a safety food and as part of a meal. A safety food is one food that you are certain your toddler will accept – something familiar and likeable. For example, if you are trying to expose your toddler to meat, pair it with his favorite fruit or vegetable and a starch (i.e. watermelon and French fries).
• Allow your toddler to touch and play with that food, even if it means putting it in his mouth and then spitting it out. Playing with food is something that toddlers do and they engage in this activity because it is a key part of their development.
• Serve the same food to all at the table, so your toddler will see other people eating what he is being served.
• Offer the food in small quantities so that he does not get discouraged or overwhelmed. “Portion Distortion” begins in the toddler stage: Bags of chips, cookies, and snack crackers are bigger than ever. Often, parents feel like their toddler is eating nothing because they have piled on grown-up portion sizes, or even quantities of food that an older sibling would eat.
• If after two minutes your toddler says the dreaded “I’m done,” ignore him and attempt to engage him to talk about something he did that day. Do not try and overzealously attempt to keep him at the table, or set “rules” for what else he has to eat before he gets down. There is a biological reason for a decrease in food intake between the ages of one to three, and that is a slower rate of growth. Appetite mimics rate of growth; therefore, appetite “slows down.”
• Consider what your toddler eats over the course of a week, rather than from meal to meal. You can even pick several days if a week seems just too long. The idea that his decrease in appetite is developmentally appropriate should give you some reassurance for those days that his eating doesn’t seem to add up to nutrition perfection.  In a day, it can be normal for a toddler to eat one “good” meal.

I asked some specific questions to Kate, about things I struggle with in regards to Hannah.  Here is what she said:

Q:My daughter is 3.5, and very picky. Instead of starting to get less picky, she keeps getting pickier. She will often refuse to eat things she loved not so long ago, and say “I don’t like that anymore.” She doesn’t just not like it for a week or so. When she says that, that’s it, she won’t eat it again no matter how many times I put it on her plate. Is this normal, and what can I do about it?

KS: As frustrating as this can be, it happens with some kids. The first thing you have to do is think about how you (or anyone eating with her) are responding to her declaration of “I don’t like it”. If you feel the scenario escalates into a battle of wills more often than not (i.e. You respond: “What do you mean you don’t like this, you just ate it yesterday!”), then there are some changes to be made. Simply ignore her declaration and act like you don’t care either way. Try saying, “Well, I am sure you can find something on the table you like.”

If however, these food refusals are accompanied by weight loss, persistent stomach aches, changes in bowel habits, or constant fatigue, you need to speak with your pediatrician as her decline in food intake could signal something else.

2. Question from a reader: My 18 month old daughter eats pretty balanced meals, but sometimes she refuses to eat anything for a few days, she will drink milk though. Her doctor warned me that if she drinks more than 12oz a day she could get very ill and possibly die. My initial reaction was fear, but I’m feeling a little mislead, any input? thank you!

KS: The big concern with excessive milk intake in toddlers who have very little table food in their diets relates to iron deficiency anemia. Milk is a poor source of iron, and foods help keep iron stores within normal limits. The severity of the anemia will depend upon how long the scenario has been going on. Meaning, when a child doesn’t eat anything, and drinks more than 16 ounces of milk per day week after week, it can become a serious problem. Usually, it occurs when the child is drinking large quantities of milk (like more than 24 ounces).

Be sure that you are still going through the routine of offering regularly scheduled meals and snacks, and be sure you (or the caregiver) are sitting and eating with her. Use these days as a chance to offer something new and fun – sometimes kids just get bored of the same old stuff – especially at 18 months.

Also, pay attention to her stooling pattern during these 3 day food refusals – if she is constipated, she might not feel like eating. Give 2-4 ounces of pear juice per day to help her move things along.

And lastly, give her a daily MVI with Fe, such as a Flintstones Complete, to be on the safe side

 

3. I know you say I shouldn’t overzealously try to keep my daughter at the table and make her eat x and y before she gets down, but is it ok to make her sit at the table until dinner time is finished if she doesn’t actually have to eat anything? Usually I let her get down when she’s done if she eats all of her food, but if she doesn’t, she has to stay at the table until dinner is finished (and I emphasize the fact that she doesn’t have to eat anything). She always wants to get down though.

KS: It sounds like there are mixed messages being passed along. Your daughter would benefit from a consistent response to her request to get down from the table. Meaning, whether or not she gets down should not depend upon what she ate or didn’t eat. If your goals are to have her sit for longer with the family to enjoy the time together, then it’s fair to set the rule that no one can get up before everyone is finished. And I agree that she does not have to eat anything while she is sitting. One suggestion: quietly be mindful of how long she has been sitting, but don’t feel the need to set a timer. She should not know you are keeping track of time, otherwise she will dread coming back time and time again.

4. When I put something that Hannah “doesn’t like” (I use the term loosely because it’s not based on taste, just what she says she doesn’t like without trying it), she won’t even eat the things she does like that are in a different section of the segmented plate. Often she will even turn around in her chair because she “doesn’t want to see it.” How can I get her to try things when she won’t even touch or look at them?

KS: This is a tough one. First, I would want to know if you remove the offending food on a regular basis. If you have fallen into that habit to keep peace at mealtime (full disclosure, I have done it too!), she might be persistent with this response based on her past experiences. If you have removed it once, you will remove it again! (Note from Sheri added after questions were answered: I do not take the offending food away.)

I would suggest putting what you made for dinner on serving dishes instead, and allow her to try and serve herself instead. Most 5 year olds can do this with a tiny amount of guidance, but if she is younger, than she might need some hands on help. Kids LOVE the autonomy of putting their own food their plates, and might even be motivated after a few weeks of doing it, to put something new on the plate too. Otherwise, you can try today the website Today I ate a Rainbow, and see if the charts and rewards help – it’s a great site.

5. I recently got a rewards chart for Hannah. If she tries her dinner, she gets a sticker. If she gets stickers for a week, she gets a predetermined (by a discussion between Hannah and me) prize. She doesn’t even have to eat the food. All I want is for her to put one little bit in her mouth, just so she can taste the flavour and hopefully start to get used to putting different things in her mouth, and even coming to like the different tastes. Do you think a rewards chart is a good idea for picky eaters?

KS: I think it depends on how it is presented, and of course the personality of the child. If what she is eating (or what she is not) is a major focus of her day, every day, every meal, then I think the chart is overkill. Additionally, she might just feel like she is constantly disappointing you by not taking just a bite.  You want her to feel like she can choose to try a new food because she wants to. You can motivate her by taking some focus away from food, and take the pressure off meal time a bit and just enjoy each other’s company.

 

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Copyright 2013 Sheri Thomson

The sneaky meat

I’m sure you’re all aware that Hannah refuses to eat anything that remotely resembles meat.  Or fish.  Or eggs.  Anything protein really.  I’ve tried different tactics, some of which have worked for a little bit, some that have failed miserably.

Yesterday, I had a brainwave (what, someone with baby brain can have brainwaves?).  Hannah LOVES those little kids yogurts that come in squeezey packs.  But what if I gave her a squeezey pack that contained not yogurt, but meat.  Of course there are other things in there too, like vegetables, but what ever, there’s meat in there!  Usually when I slave over the stove, making her healthy wonderful home made food, she takes one look at it, turns her nose up and says “Done!”  Or, to add more insult to injury, she looks at it, refuses to sit in her chair, flaps her arms and legs, makes like a wiggle worm, and starts yelling “NO!!” as if I’m about to put her in a pool full of sharks.

I couldn't find a photo of the meat ones, but this is a squeezey pack. Photo courtesy of Rafferty's Garden

So what if she can’t see the meaty goop she is about to ingest?  Sure those wonderful, foul smelling squeezey packs of baby food are for babies from 6 months old (due to being pureed…), and not really for toddlers, but who cares, they contain MEAT!  She could actually get some protein into her diet.

As I arrived in the baby aisle at Coles, I found that the meaty squeezey packs were on sale.  Score!  I grabbed 4 different packs (beef and something, chicken and apricot, chicken and something else, and tuna and something.  Seriously, you can’t expect me to remember all of them, I have baby brain).  Hannah, cheeky monkey that she is, saw me put her beloved squeezey packs in the trolley (cart) and yelled “yogurt, yogurt!”

Ok, what the heck, I gave her one then and there.  She seemed to want it more than anything else in the entire world at that moment in time, so why not go for it?  When I handed her the opened squeezey pack of wonder, she started making her over-excited giggle noise that pretty much sounds like a nanny goat and is one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

She went at that squeezey pack with vigor, squeezing and sucking its guts out.  She didn’t take a sip and then pull that this-is-the-most-disgusting-thing-i’ve-ever-had face and say done, or no.  Quite the contrary, she had some, made the nanny goat noise, then had some more.  She ate nearly the entire pack.  She probably would have eaten all of it if she hadn’t had breakfast (with seconds, she loves breakfast.  This morning, she had Special K for breakfast) only 2 hours earlier.

When we got home and she found the other squeezey packs of wonder in the shopping bags, she wanted more.  Hopefully this trend will continue, and she will eat whatever I give her out of a squeezey pack.  In a week or so, when she is used to the taste of the meat, I will try putting the contents of a squeezey pack on some pasta, or some rice.  If she eats that, I will put some little chunks of meat on it too.  If she eats that, I will make everything from scratch again, in hope that she will be used to the taste, smell, texture, and whatnot of the meat, and actually devour it happily.

This is the plan.  Wish me luck.