The long hug good night

Today is the last day we’ll have the internet for a little while.  Sure, I’ll have the internet on my phone, but I have enough trouble hitting the right buttons with my fat pregnancy fingers when just trying to type a text message.  There’s no way I can do a whole post from my phone.

Yes, we are moving tomorrow!  HOORAY!!!!!  I’m not going to think about the fact that the last people who lived there failed to clean the place.  The carpet hasn’t been vacuumed, kitchen floor not mopped, a years worth of dust is still chillin’ on all the window sills (sils?), the laundry sink has been drained and then left with a ring of crap around the bottom.  Sigh.  Nope, not thinking about all the cleaning I have to do at 37 weeks pregnant when it should have all been done before we got the keys.

Instead, I’m thinking about the shower.  The wonderful, more-than-a-trickle, you-can-have-hot-water-AND-water-pressure shower that awaits me in our new apartment.  The shower here is atrocious.  I dread showering every single day.  I’m not exaggerating at all when I say you can have a warm/hot shower, OR, you can have water pressure.  I opt for the warm, it’s like 2 degrees in the morning, I can’t have a cold shower!  Then when you get the temperature just right, it decides to burn you instead.  So then you turn the cold up just a tad, and it freezes you.  Mean while, the shower door is broken, so it doesn’t shut (letting out all that warm steam that usually keeps one warm whilst showering.  Since you’re only under a little trickle of water, one side of you is nice and warm while the other side, is hanging out of the shower stream and freezing cold.  Yes, I HATE that shower.

And we’ll have the place all to ourselves.  No waking up in the middle of the night to pee (side effect of being 37 weeks pregnant of course), only to find someone else in there and have to pop a squat in the freezing cold backyard in the rain while trying not to fall over or knee myself in the baby.

I can arrange my pantry any way I want.  No one is going to put a can of pasta sauce in the tuna row.  Or flour on the snacks shelf.

Yes, I can not wait!!!

Moral of the story though, we haven’t arranged the internet connection yet, and these things usually take way too long in the first place.  So, I’m not sure when I’ll be able to post again, but I will be back.  Maybe with a baby, maybe still pregnant.  I don’t know, but I’ll be here, surely with plenty of amusing stories when I’m back.  In the mean time, please keep voting for me, and I’ll try to keep my legs crossed so baby boy doesn’t make an appearance on moving day.

don’t forget to vote for me every day, even when I can’t post due to lack of internet (I still want to stay in the top 5!!!!!) Please please please!!!

Does that say something about me, or them?

don’t forget to vote once per day (you are awesome!!)

I find it quite amusing to go into all the stats of my blog. It tells me how many people view my blog each day, what websites refer them here (mostly from Top Mommy Blogs and Facebook, in case you’re curious), which posts were looked at, links people clicked on, etc.  Don’t worry, it doesn’t say who does what or anything. It’s just numbers.

Except for the search engine terms.  That is the best part of the stats.  That tells me word for word what all you weirdos out there type in to accidentally stumble across my blog.  Some times, they are just funny:

Sometimes people just want a laugh (I assume so anyway):

Sometimes, people want information:

Maybe people want to find like minded others:

I still get way too many visitors wanting to know about muumuu’s:

I seem to get an alarming number of visitors who google things pertaining to poop:

And then sometimes, they are just plain wrong, disgusting, creepy, sick, twisted, and make me want to vomit (even though I HATE vomiting):

So does this say something about my blog or the people who are googling these things?  I mean, they are getting my blog from googling these things.  Kind of disturbing really….

 

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Hannah turns two!!!

Tuesday was Hannah’s 2nd birthday. Oh. My. Gosh. I can’t believe she is 2!!!!!  Where did the time go?!?!?!?!?!?!  Seems like yesterday, I was pushing her out and riding the steep learning curve of parenting.

We already had a joint Cowboy/Cowgirl birthday party with everyone from our antenatal class (yes, the antenatal class we attended when pregnant with Hannah), so on the actual day, we went to Featherdale Wildlife Park (where we tried our best not to freeze and blow away as it was crazy windy), ate some cake, opened some presents, and had a look at an apartment for rent.  Here is the day in photos.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY my sweet little girl!!!

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The pregnant belly dance

Boy Baby is posterior.  He is head right down in my nether region (making me feel an incredibly strong urge to pee every time I stand up), but his head is facing out.  Not in, like they are supposed to.  That, of course, means that his little strong legs are also facing out, towards my belly button, and you can physically see limbs moving across my stomach from time to time.  I can tickle a whole foot.  Judging by the strength of these movements, I’m actually kinda glad that he’s not facing inward.  I think my intestines and internal organs will thank him for it later.  Of course his spine is on my spine, so my spine thinks otherwise.  And my legs.  He seems to pinch some nerves from time to time, making me nearly fall over mid-stride, legs unable to work, and in great pain.

But look on the bright side, without a posterior baby, I wouldn’t get footage like this (taken yesterday @ 35 weeks pregnant):

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Flashback Friday: 1.5 years of phone camera photos

Ok, so it’s not exactly Friday, but I did start this post on Friday. It just took me a very long time to rotate and caption all the photos!

I recently got a new phone, which is good because my old phone sometimes worked, but sometimes decided to be so quiet that I couldn’t actually hear the person on the other end, making me sound like a fool with all my “what, I can’t hear you, sorry, my phone doesn’t work properly.”

This may not be a very old flashback, but here are 1.5 years of photos from my old phone. There were some from the other .5 years, but I already had those off the phone and on my computer and well, I couldn’t be bothered adding those too.

Most of these photos were taken to then message to Aaron while he was at work. I like to make him smile a little while he is slaving away at his computer desk.

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Ultrasound to shot in the nuts: the world of Telestrations

Last night, Aaron, Hannah and I went to dine and celebrate a birthday with some friends.  Last time Telestrations was brought out, I was attempting to sleep, and everyone else was totally drunk and loud.  Result: Me yelling at them to shut up.  So this time, we pulled out Telestrations before I went to bed.

What is Telestrations you ask?  It’s kind of like telephone/chinese whispers, combined with pictionary.  The first person starts with a word, the next person draws it, the next person looks at the drawing (but not the word) and has to write what it is, the next person draws, and so forth.  Write, draw, write draw.  There is some system of points or something, but we never play with points, we play for hilarity’s sake.

Last time I played the game, someone started with Yoga, which somehow went to arsehole, via aboriginal.  Unfortunately I don’t have any photos of that, but we were all laughing so much it’s surprising no one wet themselves.

Here’s a peak at last nights game (sorry about the poor quality of the photos, but all I had was a little pocket digital camera in my bag, and I had to take the photos really really quickly in between rounds so everyone didn’t have to wait on me to keep playing).

It started innocent enough:

Starting word: Microscope. Seems innocent enough....

I think this is where it started going a bit awry:

 

 

And this is where things really started getting interesting (this was my drawing by the way…):

I bet if we were playing with a different crowd, it wouldn’t have come to this:

 

That is one giant birdy!:

 

 

And finally, microscope turned into this:

And then we had this round:

 

Clearly the person who drew this one has never actually had an ultrasound, but good effort none the less:

I’m not sure who actually gets a tattoo in the middle of their stomach:

I’m sorry to say, this was my drawing.  I tried to draw someone getting a tattoo in the arm first, but it didn’t turn out at all, so I erased it and started again.  Each round of this game is timed by one of those sand turn-it-upside-down type timers that last about 30 seconds to 1 minute, so it didn’t pan out too well:

And then things started to go pear-shaped:

 

And that is how Ultrasound turned into Shot in the Nuts:

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Ick, overseas call centres

I’ve been on the phone for over half an hour.  On my mobile.  Ugh.  I’m only trying to upgrade my phone since my current contract expired and my phone sucks.  I’m not even talking to a different phone company, I’m talking to my existing one.  It’s an easy request: sign me up for another 24 month contract and give me a new phone, thank you very much.  They already have our details, my phone number, my customer number, etc. Easy.

You’d think anyway.  But not when the call centre is in India.  Now I have nothing against India, or Indians, but when you’re trying to get service for an Australian product from somewhere else in the world, it just doesn’t work.

I’d been talking to someone for a while, going through all the details, repeating myself a million times: yes I want a new phone, this is the one I want.  Yes, I understand I will be on another 24 month contract, etc.  We’d gone through the whole thing.  He even checked to see if they had any of the phones I wanted in stock.  They did, but not the colour I wanted.  Oh well, black will do just fine.

“Your account is showing as overdue.  I can’t upgrade your phone if your account is overdue.”  He told me.

“Well, our account is direct debited, so if it’s overdue, it’s because you guys didn’t take it out on time.”

“It says overdue.”

“Well it’s not.”

“I’ll just check it out for you.”  He put me on hold. Again.

“I can see you’ve paid, the system just hasn’t updated it yet.  I’ll just put you on hold while I fix it up for you.” Sigh, but at least we were almost done.

“Good evening, Vodafone, this is (I can’t remember, Raj or something) _____”  Great, I was supposed to be on hold, not transferred.  ARGH!

“Um…I was speaking to someone about an upgrade, but I think he transferred me accidentally instead of putting me on hold.” Giant sigh.

“Ok, I’ll transfer you to upgrades.”

“Good evening, Vodafone, this is _____.”

I said my whole bit again, blah blah blah.

“I’ll just transfer you to upgrades.” Kill. Me. Now.

“Hello, Vodafone, this is ___.”

I told the story again. SIGH.

He didn’t know who I’d been speaking to.  I could hear other consultants on the phone to other customers in the background.  Maybe a “hey, who was speaking to Sheri??!!” to his collegues would have been a good idea.

Nope, I had to go through the entire process.  Again.  Sigh.  Give him the pin number, tell him which phone, give him our address (they had our old one), let him look it up to see if they were in stock. Yada yada yada.

“I’m sorry, I can’t upgrade you today.  Your account is overdue.”  Anger and impatience rising…

“No it’s not.  The other guy was trying to put me on hold to fix all that up when he accidentally transferred me.”

“It’s overdue.  I can’t upgrade you if your account is overdue.”

“It’s not overdue, your system just hasn’t updated the payment yet.”  Maybe because you are in India…

“Ok, hold on while I check it.”  Yeah, you could have been doing that already, instead of arguing with me about it.  I was on hold for ages.  Sigh.

“That’s all fine, I can put this through for you now.”  Really?  That’s what I’d been trying to tell him for the last 20 minutes.

He had to go through all the terms and conditions with me.  No worries.  Except that I couldn’t really understand him.  It’s ok when he’s having a conversation, but when he’s reading a long list of things from a paper?  Sounds like garbledy-goop.  He was talking really fast, accent flaring.  He could have been speaking a different language for all I knew.  Luckily I had already read everything online.  I like to know what I’m getting myself into ahead of time. I’m all prepared like that.

When I got off the phone, there was a text message waiting for me.  “Hi, this is Rahesh from Vodafone, I was speaking to you about an upgrade.  Sorry, I accidentally transferred you, I will call you back right away.”  Only I was still on the phone when he tried to call, trying with all my might to actually get a new phone. Humph.

Then the phone rang.

“Hello.”  I said.

“Hi, this is Rahesh from Vodafone, I was talking to you about your upgrade.”

“Yeah.”

“I tried calling you seven times, but I can see now that you’ve already had it done.”  Then why are you calling me???

“Uh…yeah.  I got transferred 3 times, and no one knew who I was speaking to, so I couldn’t get back to you.”

He actually sounded cranky.  I’m sorry, but whose fault is it that I got transferred???  Yeah, that’s what I though cranky call centre man!

At least I’ll have my new phone next week.  About time!