Hannah the great

Time since birth: 11.5 months (she’s almost 1!!!)

Stopped at a stoplight on the way to drop Aaron off at the station, something on the vehicle in front of us caught my eye. I did a double take. The truck in front of us had testicles. That’s right, testicles. Why on earth someone would attach a pair of testicles to a vehicle is beyond me. Not only that, but why would someone design, manufacture, and sell such an item? Wouldn’t you be embarrassed to drive around with plastic testicles on your truck? When the light changed to green, the truck was off. The testicles started swaying back and forth at an alarming rate. Just like staring at a fire, I couldn’t take my eyes off them. Surely they are some sort of driving hazard as well as being super bogan-y. How could someone not look at a pair of plastic testicles vigorously swaying back and forth on a truck? Only in Penrith.

A couple of days later, stopped at the very same set of lights, but on the other side of the road, I saw something else one would only see in Penrith: there on the car in front of us was a sticker. “Vaginatarian.” Seriously, someone actually put that on their car? I bet the occupant of that car gets no dates. Maybe he gets dates, but then he brings them to his car to transport them to date spot, they see the sticker, think “wanker!” to themselves and then pretend to be sick and not go out with him.

There was so much work to be done when we moved in here. That was to be expected since we were moving in with a hoarder. Not like the I have to much trash I can’t find my pet cat kind of hoarder, but a hoarder none the less. I started with the kitchen. Looking in the cupboards, I found 2 toasters. Not to mention the one that was out and being used. I also found no less then 6 dinner sets, 2 different sandwich presses, and oh the list goes on. Grandma told me that her Mum always said “If you keep something for long enough, you’ll always find a use for it.” I guess that motto stuck with Grandma. Lucky for me, I coaxed her into getting rid of some of it. Otherwise there is no way our stuff would have fit in the cupboards at all. I found a cupboard full of platters, none of which I’d ever seen being used (and I used to live across the road from Grandma, so I was over a lot).
“Can I give this away Grandma?” I could see her mind working. “How long have you had it?”
“20 years.”
“how long since you’ve used it?”
“20 years. Ok, you can give it away.”

Next I started on the pantry. The pantry was choc-a-bloc full of stuff, most of which I thought rather questionable. I went through every single item in that pantry and checked every single expiration date. I actually found food that expired in 1992. That’s right, it was EIGHTEEN years out of date. I’m not sure which is more shocking, that there was food in there 18 years expired, or the fact the 1992 was 18 years ago. I’m getting old!

I can hear you screaming inside, “what about Hannah?!?! How is Hannah going, what is she doing?” She is GREAT! My little wonderful baby has been walking for a month now, and she is getting cheekier every single day. She has a little hand puppet with a duck on each finger that she loves to carry around and tell everyone that it is “DUCK!” We often ask her where duck is and she’ll stop what she is doing, look all around, locate it, yell “DUCK!” and then trot over and pick it up. I bought her a little (well, compared to her size, it’s big) purse to put some toys in and take with us when we go out. She loves to carry it around even when we’re at home. In fact, she doesn’t just like to walk around, she prefers to walk around while carrying something. Preferable something big and heavy like my purse or Aaron’s 1 litre water bottle full of water. Sometimes even the washing basket.

Everywhere we go, she wants all eyes on her. Hannah will squeal loudly until some random person in the supermarket looks at her, and then she will smile and bounce and giggle at them. One day a lady was talking on the phone when Hannah started her cheekiness, and the lady got so distracted by Hannah that she told the person on the other end of the phone that she would have to call them back as “this really cute baby keeps smiling and giggling at me and I just can’t think at the moment.” We went to a newcomers dinner at church the other night (we’re not really newcomers as we went to the same church for a long time last time we lived in this area, but I suppose we were away for 3 years), and once again Hannah was up the her mischief. Right when the minister was addressing everyone, telling people about the church, etc. Hannah decided that she wanted the spotlight instead. She kept walking up to people, getting them to look at her, and when they did, doing a really funny, loud, fake laugh while smiling. Of course everyone then looked at her, which only egged her on more. She is so cute though, how can you not laugh and smile when she does such things?

Now that this is the length of a novel, I’ll stop writing. But don’t worry, we have the internet now, so you will hear about the antics of Hannah every week.

Hannah’s first toothy-peg

“Ok Bubba, time for a nappy change.” I put her on her back on the change mat. I took her nappy off, deflected wandering hands, and turned to get a new nappy. I turned back to find Bubba crawling away. She then sat just out of reach on her bare little bottom. That’s right, she can now crawl, and go from crawling to sitting and sitting to crawling. Today she followed me in to the kitchen a few times and then sat on the floor and watched me do the dishes. Sometimes when she cries after I put her to bed, I go in there to pat her only to find her sitting up in her cot. Lay her back down and she just sits up again. Ok, in all fairness, that was only one day, and she was teething and in pain. After I gave her some baby panadol, and a cuddle, she went to sleep. She won’t let me look at them, but I caught a glimpse once when I opened her mouth with my finger and then pushed her tongue back with my other hand, and saw her little tooth. Next to it was a crooked little tooth about to come through. I’m just glad that she (so far…) doesn’t bite me. I really don’t want a bloodied nipple. I read that some babies go off their food when they’re teething. I’m glad there is a reason why she hasn’t been eating her food properly. Hopefully she will return to her eager eating glory asap.

The three of us went away for the Australia day long weekend (which actually wasn’t a long weekend as the day off was Tuesday, but we made it one anyway). We went to the Abercrombie caves with friends. We went for a couple of long bush walks (3 hours) which Hannah absolutely loved. She was attached to Daddy by the baby bjorn, kicking her little legs, babbling away. The second day, we went to see the caves. I brought my camera to snap away, and hopefully get some good pics of the caves. As soon as we got to the entrance, the battery died. Unfortunately I didn’t bring the spare batteries on the hike, so I had to rely on the point and shoot and hope that Friend 2 got some good photos with his film SLR. As it turned out, he forgot to bring spare batteries for his flash, so I guess we all had to rely on the point and shoot. Clearly we are all awesome.

When we arrived, it was dark out, so we didn’t really see any of our surroundings. I heard some rustling when I woke up and went to the kitchen. I looked out the window and was surprised to see a huge hill right outside. I could have touched the hill if I could pry the screen off the window. There on the hill was a herd of wild goats, having their morning graze. The next morning we saw a family of Kangaroos on the hill, including a joey. Even the little joey was sticking his little head out of his mothers pouch grazing with his mum. We even saw a wombat run across the road in front of us (we were on foot) one night.

I bought a bottle of fake baileys (I was going to get the small $10 bottle of baileys but then saw the fake baileys large bottle for $10 and thought it was a no brainer) to have a couple of nice tasting drinks after Bubba went to bed, only to find it tasted horrible. I thought maybe my tastes changed after not drinking for so long. I took a sip, made a face, waited a while, thought I must be imagining it, took a sip, made a face. The others looked at me funny. Friend 1 tried it. “No, it’s not just you, this if off.” Friend 2 tried it. “yeah, this is off.” Glad to know it wasn’t just me. I only bought it the day before, so don’t you worry, that bottle-o will be hearing from me!

And then she spoke

Time since birth: 6 months

“Bub-ba.”
“What did you say?” Surely I was hearing things. Maybe she babbled something that kind of sounded like Bubba and then my brain deciphered it as “Bubba” without me even realising.
“Bubba.”
Wow, she really did say it. “Boo, Bubba just said Bubba!!!!” I was so excited. It was so cute. I never thought she could get cuter then she already is, but I was very wrong. Her cute little face speaking cute little words makes her way cuter.
Everyone’s heads were bowed, some people folded their hands (I am a hand folder, it just doesn’t seem right if I do it without folding my hands), the church was silent apart from a member of the congregation who was up front, praying into the microphone.
“BUBBA BUBBA BUBBA BUBBA!!!!!!” Apparently Bubba wanted everyone to know that she can now say her nickname. We laughed. It was a good way to end her very last time staying in church with Mommy and Daddy. Next week she is going to creche for the very first time.

Aaron had last week off work, so we decided to have a nice day out. We were going to visit the aquarium, as I haven’t seen it, and thought that Bubba might like it. Aaron looked up prices on the internet and found it was $30-something each. Ok, we’re too cheap to pay that. We will go when Hannah is older and can actually appreciate it (yes, I’m cheap). I swear when my parents were here it didn’t cost near that much to go there.
Instead, we opted for miniature golf. We thought Hannah would like watching the ball be putted around the course, but she was a bit bored. Maybe it was just the ridiculous humidity of the day that was making her cranky. It was making all of us uncomfortable and sticky.

Hannah had her very first shopping trolley (cart for you yanks) ride today. Since she sits up now, she would be able to sit in the baby seat in the trolley. I put her in and fastened the belt. She grabbed the front of the trolley, kicked her little chubby legs joyfully, and had a good look around. She absolutely loved it!! I was wondering how I would do the shopping on my own now that she is getting so heavy. I used to either wear her in the baby bjorn, or have her in the pram (stroller for the yanks) with someone (Aaron, Grandma, or The Jess) pushing her while I pushed the shopping trolley.

I think we’re going to need a playpen in the very near future. Hannah can now put herself in the proper crawling position, with her knees on the floor, her arms straight, and her back flat. She gets herself all flustered and cranky because she can’t quite figure out what to do next. She has mastered going backwards, but the elusive forward steps are still evading her. She did sort of inchworm herself a little forward the other day, and looked very pleased with herself. It’s only a matter of time until our little baby is properly mobile. Lucky our lease runs out in April so we can get a place that is a bit more baby friendly. In other words, isn’t the size of a sardine can so the play area isn’t in the same space as the folded up home weights bench, the wall of awesome (board game shelves), and the tv entertainment unit. Lots of stuff for tiny hands to grab, ruin, put in her mouth, hurt herself with, etc.

Aaron made a video of Hannah:

I can’t believe she can sit!

The UFC is finally coming to Australia. FINALLY!!! Aaron said he wanted to buy me tickets for Christmas (which I think is an awesome present by the way). SNAP!! They sold out the day they went on sale. How rude! Now most people wouldn’t pick me as a UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship for those of you who don’t know) fan, but I love it! We even went to one in Las Vegas. We flew from Paris to Frankfurt to Los Angeles, then drove (ok, Aaron drove) straight to The Palms casino where it was being held. No hotel stop, no shower, only a quick trip to taco bell (why is there no Taco Bell here, it’s very sad), then straight there. We were very late too, we only got there in time to see the main 2 fights and the tail end of the fight just before them. So when we found out the UFC was coming to Australia, we got very excited. I can’t believe they sold out already! I think I’m going to scour e-bay, and if that doesn’t work, then we might go on the day and keep the scalpers in business. At least with the success of ticket sales, maybe that means the UFC will be back here sometime.

After last weeks night out, I was keen to give it another go, hoping that getting away would be a bit easier this time. I fed Hannah early, The Jess got here on time, things were looking good. Unfortunately, Hannah didn’t think she should go to bed half an hour early. She started bawling her eyes out as soon as I put her down. I thought she’d settle and sleep with a little patting, so I left The Jess to it and went on my merry way (after putting on my dress of course). I told her to message me when Hannah was asleep. 15 minutes later I still hadn’t heard anything, so I texted The Jess. Still bawling. Oh Hannah was ripping my heart out. It was hard enough leaving her there bawling her eyes out, but to know that she still was…. I met Aaron at the posh seafood restaurant where his work Christmas party was. I thought a cocktail was in order, so I ordered a chocolaty one that was frozen like a thick shake. Mmmmm…. I was still worried about Bubba though. I kept checking my phone and texting The Jess for progress reports. She cried for 2 hours and then finally went to sleep. Poor little Bubba. I think next time, I will make sure she is sleeping before I leave, even if it means I will be late. I just didn’t want to miss out on all the yummy seafood. There was way too much food by the way. I had an entree of king prawn which was so so so yummy (best part of the meal I think), followed by a GIANT piece of salmon with mashed potato that I couldn’t even eat half of. Plus, there was a seafood platter for the table, and lobster mornay. Then, there was desert, and I had another cocktail. Hannah wouldn’t be needing a feed until at least 12, so it was safe to have another one. I shouldn’t have after all that food though, my tummy hurt, so we went home early. I’m such a light weight.

I know babies aren’t supposed to sit up until they are a bit older, but Hannah has decided that it’s time. One day she could sit up for a short period of time, then fall over, the next she could sit up like a pro. I timed her, she sat up for 10 minutes before reaching too far for something and going sideways (and I caught her of course). She is so clever. She can also roll in all directions, front to back and back to front, but prefers to go to her left. One day she was supposed to be napping but instead decided to roll around her cot, give me a cheeky smile, then giggle hysterically. I couldn’t help but laugh, it was so cute. Then of course she did it more. So much for nap time.

The day after tomorrow, Hannah will experience her first airplane ride. I’m so excited, I think she will love it. There are lots of people to look and smile at, a window to look out, planes to watch at the airport. I can’t wait (except I will miss Aaron until he joins me in a weeks time).