The bathroom is a fascinating place. Well, it is if you’re 15 months old and knee-high to a grasshopper. There are so many interesting things in the bathroom. There are cupboards to open, drawers to pinch your chubby little fingers in, a bathtub to throw things you find in the cupboard in, a toilet that seems to want to eat small children, and of course, toilet paper to rip into tiny little pieces and then leave all over the floor, or, even better, try to eat.
Recently though, Hannah has discovered a new fun toy in the bathroom: my feminine hygiene products. I like to keep them in a little basket, right at the front of the cupboard, for easy access. When your uterus feels like it’s trying to punch its way out and you would absolutely love to scream your head off at anything thing that moves, the last thing you want is to be walking around the bathroom, pants around your ankles, playing hide and seek with your pads.
Hannah LOVES to free the pad from its nice little blue package (why is it blue, why can’t it be pink? Or purple? Is the pad wrapper taunting women for having to go through menstruation when men don’t have to?) and then…THEN she tries to put it on. Say what? SHE TRIES TO PUT IT ON!
Hannah the pad bandit attempts to put one on
“It’s not a nappy sweetie,” I tell her, giggling at her as she squats down and holds it against her nappy region (babies don’t know that nappies go on the inside of their pants).
“Well, they pretty much are adult nappies.” Aaron doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into.
“Excuse me!!!!! I DO NOT wear nappies!”
“But they pretty much are. You put them in your underwear and they catch stuff. That’s what nappies do.”
Oh snap.
Then there’s the tampons. I’m not partial to Australian tampons. I think tampons should always have applicators. Australian’s don’t seem to see my point of view, making applicator tampons a rare find. Mine came from the U.S.A. They are compact, but still have an applicator. They are encased in a little yellow wrapper. Now that I’ve scared off every single male reading this, here is the point: My Tampax Compak tampons bear a striking resemblance Hannah’s Heinz little kids snack bars.
“Bar!!” She excitedly chants when she picks up a tampon from my little product basket in
Yum, which one would you rather eat?
the cupboard. “Bar!!!” She even tries to open it. I can see her unwrapping it with her eyes, greedily devouring my tampons, ecstatic that she has found a seemingly secret stash of her precious “bars.” The bathroom looks like a tornado came through. A tornado that went past a feminine hygiene products factory, picked up its contents, and then dropped them all, half-open, in our bathroom.
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Mommy Adventures 