Tag Archives: kids say the darndest things

My child is an alien

13 Dec

Hannah: “Why do we need to eat food?”

Me: “That’s where your energy comes from. If you don’t eat, you can’t run and jump and play.”

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Hannah: “But I don’t get my energy from food. I get my energy from lights.”

Um…ok then.

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Copyright 2012 Sheri Thomson

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I don’t need you

18 Jun

“Mommy, can I make my own lunch today?” Hannah asked me.

“It depends on what you make.”

“Can you open the fridge for me Mommy?”

I opened the fridge. She did her little nanny goat/whole face smile/shuddering thing she does when excited.

“Hmmm….I’ll have…a little cucumber…some yogurt…some jam…a banana…” She rifled through the fridge, gathering her supplies.

She shoved one of her plastic play knives in the jam and spread it on a piece of bread.

She put the banana and cucumber on her plate and spooned some yogurt into a little take and toss bowl.

I carried it to the table for her.

“Wow, you’re such a big girl! You made your lunch all by yourself!”

“I don’t need you anymore Mommy.”

Sigh.

And then she dumped all the yogurt on the bread, squished the banana on top, took a bite of the cucumber and told me she was all finished. Double sigh.

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Dr. Hannah

19 Mar

Hannah: “Mommy, lay over there on the couch so I can be your doctor.”

Me: “What do you say?” When will she ever learn to say please without being asked??

Hannah: “PLLLLEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEE????”

I went over to the couch and laid down.

She got out her little, fine, big, doctors kit and came over to me.

Hannah: “You don’t feel good Mommy, I have to fix it.”

Me: “Oh, ok.” I felt fine, but you know, I took one for the team.

She took a white blanket and wrapped it around my arm.  The one that was in a cast only 2 weeks ago.

Hannah: “Your arm is sore Mommy, I’ll fix it for you.”

She took my temperature with her little pretend thermometer.  She gave me some pretend panadol.

And then she got out that funny little thing that doctors use to look in your ears. You know, the one with the cone shape on the end.

Hannah (while looking through the ear-thing at my ear): “Oh. There’s a panda in there.” She said, as if that was a perfectly normal ear disease.

I cracked up.  Yes, a panda. 

She looked in my other ear. “There’s a monkey in here.”

Me (laughing): “How did that get there?”

Hannah: “They scooted in there.” She walked her fingers up my arm, demonstrating as she said it.

Me: “How will we get them out?”

She went over to her doctors kit and grabbed these weird little scissor/tweezer type things.

Hannah: “I’ll use this.” She held it up for me to see.

Oh gosh, this quite possibly could hurt. A lot. Sometimes, she’s not so gentle. Toddlers often aren’t.

She leaned over, put the scissor/tweezer thing in my ear, and very gently pretended to pull out the monkey.

“Got it.” She told me.

Then she got the panda out.

Thank goodness for doctor Hannah.  I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with a panda and a monkey in my ears.

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Copyright 2012 Sheri Thomson

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