Tag Archives: funny story

“What’s this Mommy?”

15 Jan

Last week it was really hot.  Like 35 degrees (95f).  And humid. Ick.  Did I mention we don’t have any airconditioning?  Anyway, the kids and I were disgustingly hot and sticky, so we got the pedestal fan out of Aaron and my bedroom and planted it in the playroom (aka the living room…).  I stripped Daniel down to his nappy and Hannah went one step further, choosing to be completely starkers.  We laid on the living room floor, arms out wide, relishing the kinda cool air from the fan.

A little while later, Hannah held something up. It was small, about the size of a pinky fingernail. And dark.

“What’s this Mommy?” She asked me, inspecting it.

She didn’t really let me answer. “It’s a poo nugget,” she stated.

I laughed.  How could I not laugh? “It’s not a poo nugget sweetie!  Maybe it’s a raisin?”

I went over to investigate anyway.  I didn’t want her eating random raisins off the floor.

Then I saw it.  Next to her foot there was indeed a poo nugget. It must have fallen off the tiny piece in her hand when she picked it up. Oh my gosh, my daughter was holding up a piece of poo.  In her hand. EEEEEWWWWWW!

“Oh, it is a poo nugget!”

I got some toilet paper from the bathroom and picked up the nugget and the disgusting nuggety fragment from her grubby little hand and flushed it down the toilet, washing our hands vigorously afterwards.

A bit later she was next to the couch.”Oh, there’s another poo nugget.” She told me.

I didn’t doubt her for a second this time.  I looked all around, but all I found was a piece of fluff.

“Do you mean this?”  I asked her.

“Yeah, it’s a poo nugget.”

Thank goodness it wasn’t.  I threw the fluff away.

The next day I was sitting on the couch.  Something icky kept filling my nose.  Something poopy.  I sniffed around like a dog on the scent of a rabbit.  I got down on all fours, nose to the ground and moved forward toward the scent as it got stronger.  Finally I came to the edge of the couch.  The smell was strong there.  I looked all around, but couldn’t see anything.  It didn’t help that our carpet is a disgusting 80s brown, shaggy thing.

But there it was, under the couch.  Under the couch?  How in the world does a poo nugget get under the couch?  I’m not sure I want to know.  But I was in the playroom/living room with them when Hannah had her nappy off, and I certainly didn’t see her pooping.  Nor did I see her putting anything under the couch.  Not to mention that poo nugget was about 10 feet away from the other poo nugget.  WTF? I’m not sure I want to know….

On the plus side, ever since that day, Hannah wants to wear underpants. But, she doesn’t actually want to sit on the potty, so I’ve been spending a lot of time with a towel and the carpet cleaner.  Sigh.

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Just like Daddy

14 Sep

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How do you know if your child has done a poo?  You pull open the top of their pants and nappy and peer in of course.  You could go by smell, but sometimes that’s a false alarm.  Kids fart.  Farts stink….  You get what I’m saying.  We always check Hannah’s nappy this way.  Yes, she’s still in a nappy.  Sigh.  She refuses to wear big girl undies and flails like an octopus on red cordial caught in a net  if you try to put her on the potty.  Plus I have a newborn.  That doesn’t exactly leave a lot of time for potty training.  Giant sigh (about the potty training, not the newborn…).

Anyway, that is totally not the point of this post.

The other day, Hannah, cheeky girl that she is, went up to Aaron and pulled at the back of his pants.

“Did Daddy do a poo poo?”  He asked her.

“Yeah.”  She said, a cheeky grin plastered on her face.

“I don’t think so, Daddy does poo poos on the potty!  Let me check,” Aaron humoured her as he put his hand down the back of his pants, pretending to search for non-existent poo.

“What??!!!  Where’d this come from??!!!!”

Hannah looked at him mischievously, as she erupted in laughter.

Aaron held up the tip of a yellow crayon.  “How did this get in there?!!”

“I PUT IT THERE!!!” She exclaimed proudly.

I sat back, watching and laughing my head off.  Aaron has always been the joker of the family.  A “torment” as Grandma puts it.  He’s all light-hearted and silly like that.  So yeah, I think it’s HILARIOUS that Hannah torments him back.

Aaron handed the crayon back to her.

She walked straight back to Aaron, pulled at the back of his pants and in went the crayon again.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

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