Tag Archives: forgetting to button your pants

Belly’s getting bigger, pants are getting tighter

14 Feb

Lately, I’ve been finding myself unbuttoning my shorts whenever I sit down.  I seem to have ‘popped out’ recently, and when buttoned, my daks tend to strangle my belly upon sitting.  Sure I could buy some maternity clothes, but it’s February.  It’s still too hot to wear pants, but soon it won’t be (I hope anyway).  So I don’t want to buy summer maternity clothes, just to wear them for a couple of weeks. And, I’d surely die of heat exhaustion if I were to wear them right now anyway.  Shorts unbottoned when sitting it is.  Makes sense to me.  I could, of course, wear the belly belt (a pants extender of sorts.  It has a slit on one end to go over the button, the other is a button for the slit end of the pants to go on), except I can’t seem to find it.  Plus, you have to have shirts long enough to cover it and if your shirt happens to come up a bit, say, when you sit down or something, it’s “hello, here’s my undies,” and then everyone knows you are too fat to button your pants.

Anyway, I went to Kmart the other day to get some hair dye as I was feeling kind of ugly with my scraggly long hair (baby seems to be leeching all of my nutrients), and glasses (have to wear them in this pregnancy as I can’t seem to tolerate my contacts for some reason.  Plus my eyesight keeps changing with all the hormones), so I decided to do something different.  A chop and and dye.  Awesome.

I went into Kmart with Hannah, found some dye and started off on my merry way.  On my way out, I saw someone I used to work with nearly 5 years ago.  We’ve run into eachother at Kmart before.  Kmart is a great place to go when you have a toddler and need to get out of the house.

“Is it congratulations?”  She asked me as she walked over, looking at my belly.

“Yeah, I’m glad it’s finally looking like a baby bump, rather than just a fat belly.”  Really, I was elated.  I mean, to me it looks like a baby bump, but to other people, who knows, they may just think I’ve had a few too many beers down the pub.  Not that I drink beers, they taste disgusting, but you get what I’m saying.

We chatted for a bit, and then Hannah and I went to the car.  I went to unbutton my pants in preparation for sitting to drive.  Oh. Snap.  I’d been walking around Kmart that whole time with my shorts undone.  Darn you baby brain!  No wonder she felt ok asking me if I was pregnant.  Only a pregnant woman would walk around with her pants undone.


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