Maybe I’m crazy

I’m excited and terrified all at the same time.

The kids and I are going to visit The Jess. You may remember The Jess is my sister in law, who also happens to be my best friend (besides my cousin Jennifer, but I haven’t seen her in 4 years). I used to see The Jess at least once per week. Her husband thinks we’re co-dependant. At least he did. Before they moved to Adelaide. Sigh. I miss The Jess.

It’s been a couple of months since she moved. I haven’t seen her since. At least I’ve been busying myself with going to the gym and bible study, and junior jivers (a playgroup), and kindy gym.

The Jess’ birthday is in November, so it’s the perfect time to visit. She lives across the street from the beach by the way.

I’m terrified of the plane ride. Ugh. Visions of flying with Hannah by myself to the U.S. are filling my head. I had nicely repressed those memories for the last year.

She hardly slept the whole flight, we spent half of it walking the aisle, and she wouldn’t eat anything. On the way back, she vomited all over me during turbulence, and everyone spent the rest of the flight smelling it and wondering loudly where the smell was coming from. As if I was going to tell anyone it was me. How did I not write a blog post about that?

Anyway, that was hard enough with 1, but now I’ve got two. Daniel doesn’t like to stay put for 2 seconds and I can’t exactly walk the aisles on a domestic flight. People don’t really do that.  Even if I could, what would I do with Hannah? Leave her by herself at her seat watching cartoons? Make her follow me up and down the aisles? What if Hannah has to pee? We’ll somehow all have to fit in the tiny bathroom as I try to make sure Hannah doesn’t fall in the toilet at the same time dissuade Daniel from shoving his hands in the bin, unrolling the toilet paper, banging on the door, and causing all sorts of mischief I haven’t even thought of.

What if he won’t hold still and spends the whole flight screaming and writhing around in my lap, kicking and pushing on my hands that are trying to keep him from getting off of my lap? What if they both decide to be cranky and scream the whole time?

I guess then I’d be that mom. That person that everyone looks at with disgusted looks on their faces, wondering why, OH WHY did she bring 2 little kids on their flight?

I think Hannah will be easy. Just give her the iPad and let her watch Mickey Mouse. She’d love that.

But if Daniel sees Hannah with the iPad, he’ll want the iPad. Because, you know, computers, iPads, and phones are like the best thing ever when you’re 1. He will whinge and point and throw himself towards that seemingly magical iPad that he so badly wants to poke. When he isn’t allowed to have it, he will throw himself backwards, bashing his head against my face, whilst screaming. Seriously, that is what he does.

So yeah, I’m sure we’ll have a great time in Adelaide, but getting there (and home again)…. Sigh. Maybe I’m crazy to even try.

How do you fly by yourself with 2 little kids? What is your secret?

If you enjoyed reading this, please vote for my blog. All you have to do is click the link below. That’s it… Clicking the link brings you to the Top Mommy Blogs home page. You don’t have to do anything else. Any clicks from my site to theirs is a vote.  THANKS!

Like my blog? ‘Like’ it on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mommy-Adventures/203964682967827?ref=tn_tnmn

Pin It You officially have my permission to pin this (as long as it links back to my site).  Just don’t act like you wrote it. Because you didn’t….

Copyright 2012 Sheri Thomson

“Mommy poop!”

I was really surprised with our flight from Seattle to Los Angeles.  Hannah confined on my lap for 2.5 hours, not being allowed to walk up and down the aisle like we do on the long haul flight….  I was having nightmares just thinking about it.  Our LA to Seattle flight was after the long flight from Sydney, so she just slept, buggered from sleeping only 2 hours the whole flight.  This time though, the flight was at 5:30pm.  Not time for sleep yet, just time for play.

Luckily, a lovely lady from my women’s bible study group suggested I bring Play-Doh.  I hadn’t actually considered bringing Play-Doh before that, but I went out and bought some the day before we left on our big trip.  As soon as we reached cruising altitude and the seat belt sign was switched off, I got out that lovely little jar of blue Play-Doh.  Hannah sat on my lap, poking, prodding, and squishing the Play-Doh on the tray table.   She played with it for an entire hour.  I don’t think one single thing has grasped her attention for one whole hour ever, in her entire life.  Apart from sleep of course.  And rough-housing with Daddy.

When we got to L.A.  I had to…um…go….  What can I say, when you are going to be travelling for 24 hours door to door, you are bound to have to poop sometime.  Ugh.  I hate pooping in public.  When I was little, we’d go camping and I couldn’t poop the entire trip.  An entire week.  I’ve gotten much better since then, but still I have issues pooping in public.  Having Hannah makes it easier of course.  If there is a smell, no one knows it was me, people assume it was her.  It’s one of the many benefits of being a parent.  If I accidentally break wind in public, loud or not, I can blame Hannah, and no one will ever know.  And being a pregnant woman, by the third trimester, I’m sure this will not be an unusual event…

I do prefer to get one of the one room only toilets so there aren’t a million people waiting in line, knowing how long you’ve been in there, possibly hearing the plop, knowing what I am doing in there.  No.  Thank.  You.  I found a parents room.  A one room, one door, lock when you go in, parents room.  It was occupied.  Humph.  We waited.  And waited.  No one was coming out.  Maybe they had a public poop phobia too (yay, I’m not the only one!).  I waited some more.  Nothing.  I waited for almost 10 minutes.  Hannah kept saying very loudly “someone in there!  Someone in there!”

I gave up.  We went to the normal, a million stall, way too many people waiting in line, knowing how long you’ve been in there, women’s bathroom.  We took the disabled stall, the only one I could fit in with the pram.  All was well, it was loud in there, toilets flushing every 2 seconds, hand dryers and water taps running all the time.  No one could hear anything.  I still didn’t feel too comfortable, but you know, it wasn’t as bad as those 3 stall toilets where you can hear the person next to you breathing.

“Mommy pee.”  Hannah said.

“Yeah, mommy’s peeing sweetie.”

But then I was still sitting there.  Going in public makes it harder to actually…go.

“Mommy poop!”  Hannah exclaimed loudly.

Oh. My. Gosh.  I nearly died.

“Mommy going poo-poo!”  She wouldn’t stop.  She seemed super-excited that she knew what I was doing and that she could vocalise it for all to hear.

“Shhh…”  I said to Hannah to no avail.

I couldn’t do it.  How could I possibly poop in public when my cheeky little daughter was actually announcing that fact to the world?  Sigh.  I was about to have a toddler sleeping on me for many hours on a long flight, not to mention a little boy baby who enjoys kicking my insides.  Add to this a full intestine, and I was going to have a very uncomfortable flight.  Humph.
Don’t forget to vote, once per day, just clicking on the banner is a vote 🙂

Travelling with a toddler is hard

1:45pm.  Hannah and I are on the airplane, enroute to Los Angeles from Sydney.  We just reached cruising altitude.  Ooooh, a meal cart is coming….  Guess I shouldn’t have eaten that McDonald’s lunch.  I didn’t think this flight was serving lunch.  Pretty sure the itinerary said dinner and breakfast, so lunch was a BONUS!!!  I always get excited when the food cart comes around.  There’s something fun about not knowing what you’re gonna get until the little cart gets to your seat and they give you a choice of 2-3 meals.  Meals that I didn’t have to cook or think about what to have or eat.  Score.

“I guess I shouldn’t have eaten lunch already.”  The lady next to me said.

“Yeah, me too, but I don’t care, I’m eating this anyway.”

“Yeah, me too!”

They brought the kids meal for Hannah first.  Two patties of greasy looking beef, a warm buttered roll, a non warm, non buttered roll with butter on the side, tater tots (potato gems) some fruit, yogurt, a piece of Cracker Barrel cheese, a piece of cake, a bag of chips, and of course, a Kit Kat.  Hmmm…  that’s a LOT of food!  Hannah ate the cheese and yogurt.  She poked the meat patty with her pudgy little finger, said “no,” and wouldn’t have a bar of the potato gems.    Of course I didn’t show her the chips, kit Kat, or cake.  She doesn’t need that sort of food.  Not that any of the other stuff was that much better, but whatever.

My meal was some sort of chicken with creamy sauce and rice, a rock hard bread roll, piece of cake, and some couscous on the side.  It seems the kiddies get way more food than the adults.  Interesting.

The flight was completely full.  Not a spare seat to be had anywhere.  Luckily, we were sitting next to a married (well, I assume) couple with a 14 month old daughter named Tilly.  Hannah and Tilly played together a lot, even sitting in their bassinets (that were right next to each other), passing a ball back and forth and giggling.  When Tilly went for a walk down the aisle with her parents, Hannah and I followed (if Tilly got to have a walk, Hannah wanted one too…).  They fought over toys and pointed at each other and said “Bubba.”  Ok, that was mostly Hannah, but you know.  It was great having another child Hannah’s age right next to her.

There were lots of kids on our flight.  Some of them would go for walks and say hi to the other kids on a regular basis.  The kids remembered where each other were sitting and deliberately went there to say hi and giggle.

All was well until around 5pm.  For some reason, V Australia decided 5pm was a good time to go to bed and turned out all the lights.  Hannah doesn’t go to bed at 5pm, so she continued to play.  Of course this was very difficult without much light, and the light I could turn on over my seat didn’t really extend to her bassinet (which she liked to sit and play in) or the floor.

“I wonder when they’re going to bring dinner?”  I asked the lady next to me.

“Yeah, I was wondering that too, I asked and they told me that they already served dinner.  ‘Dinner’ was the meal we thought was lunch.”

What?  How could that be?  Seems V Australia thinks that as soon as you enter the airplane, you’re on whatever time your destination is on.  Like people can adjust to that sort of difference on the plane.  Yeah, sorry, but it doesn’t work that way V Australia!

Since there was no dinner coming, I gave Hannah some pre-packaged toddler macaroni, meatballs and vegetables that I brought in case she didn’t want anything the airline had.  She wouldn’t even try it.  Humph.  She usually likes macaroni.  Instead, I made her some instant porridge (oatmeal) that I also brought as a back up.  She ate in between walks up and down the aisle of course.  Sitting and eating an entire meal is just not cool when you’re a toddler.

There was no way Hannah would lay in that bassinet and go to sleep on her own.  Nope, she could easily stand up and get out (fall out) if I left her in there to put herself to bed, so I had to do it the hard way.  I walked her up and down the aisle, patting her back while she cried and kicked, wanting down.  I got tired of walking, and I’m sure all the other passengers got tired of a screaming toddler going by, so eventually I stood in the emergency exit area (that was right in front/to the side of our seat), swaying back and forth, patting her back and willing her to go to sleep.

My arm got tired.  I think it may have been in danger of falling off.  Humph.  I sat back down and held her down on me while I patted her back.  She struggled and squirmed and tried her hardest to get down and play with her suitcase full of new toys that I got at the cheap shops and wrapped up so she would think of long flights as fun and full of presents (she did love opening all of them).  I stood up again, swaying and patting, annoying the daylights out of everyone around us.  The parents of Tilly (never did find out their names) were in the other aisle, doing the same.

The cycle of sitting/patting, standing/patting went on and on.  I seriously thought she may never go to sleep.  She will go to sleep, I kept telling myself, giving me the willpower to keep patting while she screamed and fought.  2 hours later, she was asleep.  I put her in the bassinet.  Phew, now I can relax.

I brushed my teeth, sat down with my headphones, and turned on some in flight entertainment.  Oh yeah, relaxing is awesome.  Especially awesome when Tilly was still screaming her lungs out and looked to be nowhere near sleeping.  And I thought Hannah would take longer.  Yeah, I was feeling pretty good about my mothering skills.

Then Hannah cried.  I was only 1 minute into my show.  Humph.

I held her on me, head on my shoulder, and patted and shusshed her some more.  She went back to sleep.  I waited a while.  I had to make sure she was really asleep.  I moved her to the bassinet.  5 minutes later, she woke again.  Humph.  Back on me she went.  She fell asleep again.  I waited a while, let her sleep on me.  But then I couldn’t feel my arm.  The danger of it falling off was clearly back, so I put her back in the bassinet.  She tried to stretch out.  Humph, she was too long for the bassinet.  Her little head hit the top of tit and went up the side.  She opened her eyes and looked at me, a mommy-why-do-you-keep-putting-me-in-here-why-don’t-you-just-let-me-sleep-what-is-wrong-with-this-bed, bewildered look on her face.  And then she cried.

Ok, so bassinet was out.  She was too big.  I patted her on me again.  Her little eyes stayed open.  She still laid on me, but she kept pointing to things and saying what they were “bubba,” “window,” “man there,” etc.  Once, she said “mommy cuddles.”  Yeah, that one made me smile and give her a big cuddle.  Still, I was on a mission.  I wanted her, needed her to go back to sleep.  I hadn’t had much sleep myself, and that was only intermittent sleep when I fell asleep with her on me for a few minutes at a time.  Plus, I knew how cranky and horrible the rest of the trip would be if she didn’t go to sleep.  She was trying really hard.  She laid on me for two hours, trying to go to sleep, tossing and turning and cuddling in.  Her eyes started getting heavy.  She was doing that thing where your eyes close and then you groggily open them again and they close again, the almost to sleep but not quite there thing.  Meanwhile, Tilly had been peacefully sleeping in her bassinet for quite a while.  Her dad was watching stuff on his laptop, her mum was having a snooze.

Then the lights went on.  It was 12:30 in the morning Sydney time.  Seriously, they were turning on the lights now. Hannah perked up straight away, any hope of sleep completely lost.  She immediately got down and started to play, a new energy pulled from who knows where running through her.

The loudspeaker came on telling us it was breakfast time.  What?  Are they insane, it was 12:30. The middle of the night.  I’m pretty sure no one wanted to eat.  I wasn’t hungry.  I had eaten some protein bars, potato chips, and that Kit Kat for dinner.  Hannah didn’t want any of the disgusting dry, weirdly high pancakes they served her.  My cheese, and spinach fritatta thing was pretty disgusting.  It pretty much tasted like cheese grease.  I did try to eat it.

Despite lack of sleep, Hannah was pretty good for the rest of the flight, only getting cross when we started to descend into LAX, meaning she had to stay put on my lap.

In LA, I put Hannah in the pram, pulled that with one hand, pushed my trolley full of luggage with the other, and went through customs.  She finally fell asleep after I dropped my bags off in the transit area and checked in for my next flight.

Then we got to the security checks.

“You’ll have to take her out of the stroller.”  The TSA workers told me as they looked at me like I was an idiot.

ARE YOU SERIOUS???!!!!!!!! I wanted to scream at them.  I was so tired and cranky I nearly cried.  How DARE they make me wake up my poor little baby who has only had  2 hours of broken sleep all night long.  How dare you! Do you know how long we’ve been flying?!  Do you know how little sleep she has had?  Are you retarded?  Can’t you see she is SLEEPING? Of course I said none of that.  Instead, I made a cranky face and grudgingly hurled all of my things on to the counter.  They even made me take out all the baby food, nappy cream, etc from my bag for x-ray.  They swabbed it all for explosives.  They made me take my shoes off and x-ray those too.  Not just me, this was for everyone. In Sydney, they asked me if I had any liquids in my bag.  I told them lots of milk and baby food and they x-rayed the bag.  They didn’t even want to see it.  I kept my shoes on, and went on my merry way.

“We need a hand check over here.”  The TSA lady said.

“Put it on the counter for x-ray.”  They told her.

“She can’t fold it up, she’s holding a child.”

So after all that, they were going to hand check the pram anyway???  Why not just do it with her in it?  Oh they made me cranky!  I know, national security and all, but after a 13 hour flight, hardly any sleep, and having to wake up my baby, national security could kiss my behind.

We boarded the flight to Seattle and Hannah started screaming straight away.  How embarassing.  This wasn’t just screaming, this was like that “I’m going to die” scream.  I must have looked pretty funny holding her down on me with all my might and patting her back.  I knew she was just tired and would eventually go to sleep.  She did.  She slept nearly the whole 2.5 hour flight.  Not that I could, I had to hold her in place so she didn’t fall and wake up.  Those seats didn’t recline nearly as well as the V Australia seats.  Not to mention they didn’t have infant seat belts like you have to have in Australia.  I asked the flight attendant for one and she looked at me like I was crazy.  “She just sits in your lap.”  She told me.  Hmmm.

By the time we got to Seattle, I was ready to curl up in a ball and cry/sleep, Hannah was crankier than I’ve ever seen her in her entire life and kept saying “home,” and nothing I did would make her happy.

Yeah, travelling with a toddler is hard.  Very hard.