The Broken Heart – continued

20 Feb

Wonder what happened to my Valentines Day guest post author?  Was he able to celebrate Valentines Day after all? Here is the story:

Apparently the best laid contingency plans can also be thwarted by Fate.  What we all optimistically thought were just bad lower back contusions from my wife’s icy fall (see first instalment here) fating our Valentine’s Day into a mesh of alternative ideas – turns out to be much worse. Cupid may have fallen on his arrow, because it’s hard to find any love from deities this week.

My wife was discharged later that same day of admission. Plenty of pain killers and no broken bones. Over the next two days the pain increases to the point of immobility, almost paralyzing, electro-shock pain, despite the pain relievers. I knew right then Valentine’s Day wasn’t happening. There was no healing, just swelling.

Inching her towards the car was futile and the ambulance was called  Tears were streaming, fear was taking hold, and will was lapsing. Honestly, I almost joined her, but I needed to be the rock as I always am. Even our first childbirth didn’t strike such terror and anxiety. All my attempts to help created more pain. I felt powerless. 15 minutes later she was on a gurney back to the hospital. That day ended with a CAT scan confirming no breaks but contusions, the possibility of a new or old herniated disc, swelling, and no concrete answers. 

Enter the MRI which confirmed the CAT scan and a swelling her sciatic nerve. That explains the pain, but isn’t the MRI to know what is causing the swelling? You can numb pain with narcotics, but you have to fix the problem.  As of now, we may be moving to a more renowned hospital and are getting second opinions.  She in incapable to get physical therapy because despite pain killing drips, she can not bend to get off the bed.

We spent Valentine’s Day, the day before and the day after (today) in the hospital. The contingency plans are a thought of the past. My wife, who often puts seemingly undue importance on Holidays was the first to say, “Let’s just have our own Valentine’s Day when this is over.  There’s just no point in pretending something is happy when it isn’t”.  I agree.  Everything is lip service when you can’t be receptive to the notion.  Right now, neither of us can be receptive to anything.

I feel almost as shocked as her, yet force myself to be numb for her.

I’m not saying Valentine’s Day should be easily dismissed. I hope next year we will celebrate another year of us, using Valentine’s Day as a romantic inspiration and backdrop. But injury and strife always put things in a proper perspective.  Our priorities change, and the only mindset up to debate is whether we choose to keep these new found priorities when the crisis is over, or if we will go back to our old ways of thinking when not under life’s pressures and pains.

But my heart yearns to rejoin the legions of happy romantics next year, because any alternative due to this injury is simply unthinkable.

Barry Kaye

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One Response to “The Broken Heart – continued”

  1. Wendi S February 21, 2013 at 5:28 am #

    I’m praying.

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