The broken heart

15 Feb

Aaron and I don’t celebrate Valentines day.  We haven’t for a long time.  Why? Because when we try to go out to eat on Valentines day, the restaurants are always ridiculously full and we have to wait ages to get a table.  Flowers cost about double what they do on usual days, and I already eat enough chocolates, I don’t need any extras.  Instead, we celebrate our very own Aaron and Sheri day – the anniversary of the day we started going out.

Since it is Valentines day for all of you readers who don’t live on the same continent as me, I thought you might enjoy a Valentines day post from someone who actually celebrates Valentines day:

The are the best laid plans of mice and…well, men and women.  Just because a day, like Valentine’s Day is deemed special by us, does not mean Fate thinks it is. If you haven’t noticed, when people reference Fate, it’s typically for the worse. Destiny is more apt for positive results. So here I am, faced with a Fated Valentine’s Day.
It’s now two days before V-Day 2013.  As Fate would have it, my wife injured her back very badly, slipping on ice. Nothing broken, but a contusion worthy of a hospital visit and a lot a pain killers and other meds. Sitting for prolonged periods is difficult for her, so imagining our upcoming romantic dinner is also difficult.  I’m on the edge of canceling but still hoping the next two days shows more destiny than fate. We’re married with young kids, so there aren’t too many romantic nights out during the year, and Valentine’s Day is one that is a given. I know she is disappointed with the prospect of spending Valentine’s Day at home in recovery mode, but you can’t simply will the body better, it takes time. I feel very badly as well. Our happiness is linked, even if I don’t put as much stock in Holiday’s as she. We share pain and disappointment, as much as we do our finances and parenting styles.

So how to remedy a situation that is slowly spiraling out of our control. Can a home-cooked and restaurant quality meal, which I can do, be an adequate substitute? The food yes, atmosphere maybe, but I can not replace the thrill of waving good-bye to the babysitter. Nor can make the night more physically romantic than her body aches and medications can allow.  I understand this. The only thing left to provide a mentally and emotionally enhanced experience. For me, and I believe for most guys, this is the most challenging because it takes the most effort.

This is a contingency plan in the making, an end-around Fate which has already taken over the day. Its power rests in its ability to disrupt the status quo and expectations of the day, so the villagers who can not change Fate must find a new route to happiness and circumvent it. The plan thus far is simple. Prepare and deploy a staggering dinner of a  favorite dish that I am comfortable making (for the non-cooking guys, there is no shame in ordering in from a nice restaurant so long as your present it on good tableware with romantic touches), present a bountiful bouquet, ensure the kids are on their best behavior and know that bedtime is to be “on-time” and with no fuss, create the most calming and relaxing bedroom environment possible, verbalize how much I understand the situation but am determined to make her forget her discomfort, and not least continue this attempt in the morning when a fresh and hopefully renewed view on the world (by virtue it’s not Valentine’s Day anymore) will let her appreciate the total effort just a little bit more.

This assumes that she can not heal herself in the face of Fate. If she can, great! But if not, I’ll be ready with my plan. And since love conquers all, I assume that includes Fate.

Barry Kaye,

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Copyright 2013 Sheri Thomson

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One Response to “The broken heart”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Broken Heart – continued « - February 20, 2013

    […] thought were just bad lower back contusions from my wife’s icy fall (see first instalment here) fating our Valentine’s Day into a mesh of alternative ideas – turns out to be much […]

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