MILF

18 Dec

I was driving down the highway yesterday when I spotted a Lancer with horribly ugly stickers across the side and in the back window. The side sticker said in giant letters, “custom.” Um… yes, awesome, you customised your Lancer, why don’t you broadcast it to the world through an oversized, fluro green sticker across the whole side of your car? You are so cool.

As the custom Lancer sped past me, I read the giant fluro green sticker in the back window. “SEXY MILF.” I’m not even joking, that is what it said. Under the sexy milf sticker, was a  line of those stick family characters, a man, a woman, and 2 kids.

Oops, I forgot to draw the spoiler/wing

Oops, I forgot to draw the spoiler/wing

Now I’m sorry, but wouldn’t you be embarrassed to step out of a car that read “SEXY MILF?” Conceited much?

Sexy Milf was driving like a lunatic (hopefully not with her kids in the car), weaving in and out of traffic without the use of a blinker (is it really that hard to put your blinker on?), tailgating, and going at least 20kph over the speed limit, which, I might add, was already 80kph.

I could see heads turning in all the cars in front of me as the sexy milf drove crazily around them. Maybe they were muttering expletives to themselves as she sped past, or maybe they were attempting to catch a glimpse of the sexy milf herself.

Is she really sexy? After she passed me, I tried to get next to her at the next set of lights so I could see for myself. But the sexy milf is a crazy driver and I couldn’t get anywhere near.

I wonder if the sexy milf’s kids are anything like Hannah. “Mommy, what does that say?” They’d ask if they are. And what would the sexy milf say in reply?

“Um… that says Sexy MILF.”

“What does that mean, Mommy?” they’d enquire in all their innocence.

“Um….”

WHY WOULD YOU PUT THAT ON YOUR CAR?!!!

I certainly hope her kids are not of reading age. How mortified they would be riding around in a car with THEIR MOM, that said Sexy MILF. Then their friends would read the stickers when she came to pick them up from school, which would either drive the friends to make inappropriate remarks about the sexy milf, or tease/bully those poor kids mercilessly.

WHY WOULD YOU PUT THAT ON YOUR CAR? I’m baffled.

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Copyright 2012 Sheri Thomson

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7 Responses to “MILF”

  1. www.MyTravelTastes.com December 18, 2012 at 2:28 pm #

    Sheri, I love your “random” rants/stories and especially your cartoons. Good job, but hey, I’m biased ’cause I’m your dad and proud of it.
    Dad

  2. LBcruiseshipblogger December 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm #

    For those of us who don’t text and have no idea what all these abbreviations mean, what exactly is a MILF?

    • Mommy Adventures December 18, 2012 at 9:18 pm #

      Thanks Dad. And Mom, have you never seen American Pie? A MILF is a Mom I’d Like to F$%k.

  3. Michelle December 18, 2012 at 10:17 pm #

    I am embarrassed to say that sexy milf obvoiusly lives in my area 😦 Seriously??! Great article Sheri 🙂

    • Mommy Adventures December 19, 2012 at 12:20 am #

      Thanks. Yes, I’m embarrassed that sexy MILF lives in this area. We do live in the western suburbs though, so I guess it’s to be expected.

  4. Lydia Lohrer December 19, 2012 at 8:50 am #

    I always wonder at those people. There is a lovely mother I know that calls herself a “hottie”. Really? People already probably think so. Do you need to advertise if you are all that? I am embarassed for these moms and their kids. Keep writing, Sheri, I love your blog!

    • Mommy Adventures December 19, 2012 at 11:55 am #

      Thanks 🙂 I tend to think that people who call themselves sexy and hottie and milf and all that probably have low self esteem and want to get some self worth by having people check them out. That’s my theory anyway.

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