It’s official, I’m delicious

12 Feb

I have been having a terrible run in the sleeping department lately.  Sure, some of it can be put down to sore boobs (if I forget to put my sleeping bra on), having to pee at least once per night, and losing my giant body pillow off the edge of the bed.  These things happen when pregnant.  There’s also the disgustingly hot nights.  Oh, and Aaron’s snoring, but that doesn’t actually wake me up, it just prevents me from going back to sleep.

None of those things are the real problem.  The real problem is the mosquito.  I’m pretty sure it’s some sort of mutant freakshow super mosquito, but I’ve never actually seen it, so I can’t be certain.  Every night this mosquito waits until I’m fully asleep, and then he makes his move.  Obnoxious mosquito starts by feasting on me.  Since it’s so hot, and I have a personal furnace in my uterus, I’m not under even a sheet, giving obnoxious mosquito free range on my whole body. Except my boobs, they’re covered so they don’t get so sore that they fall off in the middle of the night.  Obnoxious mosquito prefers to feast on the parts that are most awkward when bitten, and seem to itch the most.  Like last night, he feasted from my ear lobe, the little space between the knuckles on my toes, and under my chin.

After his apparently delicious meal, I wake up itching.  I don’t mean I wake up because I’m so itchy, I mean I wake up because I’m actually scratching like mad in my sleep to the point where it wakes me up.  Now that I’m awake, I have to pee.  I go to the toilet, do my business and apply some calamine lotion to all my itchy spots (but it never seems to work very well), all in the dark.  I don’t like to turn the lights on in the middle of the night because then I’d really be awake.

I go back to my room, put on more bug spray, bed position my giant pillow, and attempt to go back to sleep.  It takes a while, but finally, I’m pretty much there.  And then obnoxious mosquito strikes again, flying pretty much into my ear and making it’s obnoxious buzzing noise.  I swear he does it on purpose.  I swat madly at the mosquito (which is pretty much me hitting myself in the face), while rolling around madly in the bed like I’m on fire.  Little bugger always gets away.  Aaron somehow sleeps through the whole thing, oblivious to the mosquitos evil attacks and the ruckus I cause.  He sleeps soundly next to me, wearing not a drop of bug spray, while I reapply three times a night and still get feasted on.  Maybe it likes all of my extra blood, full of pregnancy hormones.  Yeah, yeah, I’m delicious.  I wish I wasn’t.

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2 Responses to “It’s official, I’m delicious”

  1. idiosyncraticeye February 22, 2011 at 6:04 am #

    I HATE mosquitos! They always keep me awake and drive me mad so you have my full sympathy. 🙂

    • Sheri (Mommy Stuff Blogger) February 22, 2011 at 6:55 am #

      I know, right! I HATE them too! And I can never find the little buggers if I turn on the light. They seem to hide just to taunt me and then come out again when I attempt to go back to sleep. Grrr! He seems to have died now and has not feasted on me for a few days now. Phew….

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