Am I too old for Jackass?

9 Nov

Aaron and I haven’t been to a movie in…well, so long I can’t even remember.  I suppose that’s what happens when you have a baby, there’s no time for movies.  Or you just can’t be bothered.  I thought the Jackass empire had ended years ago when suddenly, an ad appeared on TV.  We usually skip ads, but we made an exception when the Jackass music graced our ears.  We’ve been Jackass fans for years.  10 years to be exact.  It’s been 10 years since Jackass made its ass-ey debut.  *Sigh* I’m getting old….

I remember going to see the last Jackass movie when it came out.  I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.  My face went numb from all the smiling.  My tear ducts were empty from all the I’m-laughing-so-hard-I’m-crying moments.  There was no way we were going to miss this new 3D version.

My sides started to ache.  Tears were running down my face.  Giggles escaped from my mouth.  In 3D, I almost felt like I was there, standing next to them, laughing at someone else’s misfortune.  Despite being a good 10 years older than the rest of the audience, we still found Jackass rather hilarious.  I don’t think I’ll ever be too old to watch Bam Margera screaming like a girl when faced with a pit of snakes.

Some scenes, however, were not funny at all.  They were just disgusting.  There is just no need to show a butt volcano (don’t ask, you don’t want to know), especially not in 3D.  I don’t think there is any need for the gross scenes, the movie would be much better without them.  It’s good feeling like you’re there, but not so much when everyone on-screen is vomiting (and we all know how I feel about vomit) and it seems like it’s travelling towards you, about to shower you with icky-ness.  Well, let’s be honest here, I closed my eyes during the vomit bits, but being 3D, I imagine that it would be coming towards me.  I wasn’t game to check.  Then the person behind me started making that little cough noise that often happens before the vomit comes (they apparently did not shut their eyes).  OH MY GOODNESS, someone is going to VOMIT on me!!!!! I honestly don’t know what I’d do if someone over the age of 2 vomited on me.  I’m sure it wouldn’t be pretty though.

And what’s with the male frontal nudity?  Ok, so a little bit is kinda funny.  Like when they do a funny stunt (I don’t want to ruin anything, so I’m not going to tell you about the stunts themselves), and then you’re like hang on was that…is he naked? But it was so fast that you’re not really sure and you didn’t actually see it very well.  That is kinda funny.  But a whole scene, a whole stunt involving, and focusing on male genitalia is just rude.  And not funny.  Plus, wouldn’t that be a bit awkward during filming, one guy standing there, buck naked, other males just milling about around him?  AWKWARD!  Not to mention embarrassing.

As with the last Jackass movie, Rip Taylor was there at the end.  Who the heck is Rip Taylor?  I have no idea.  And he’s not funny.  Rip Taylor endings are not funny.  Rip Taylor, you are not funny.  Please stay out of the Jackass movies!

All in all a very funny movie (minus the gross bits…).  My sides didn’t hurt as much as last time though.  I’m not sure if it’s because I’m older now, or if it just wasn’t as funny.  I was disappointed that Don Vito wasn’t in the movie as he is unintentionally HILARIOUS, but then I googled him and found out that he was arrested for groping 12 year olds.  Ew.  If you enjoy laughing at people making fools of themselves, doing funny and often dangerous stunts, then this movie is for you.  Laugh and enjoy.  Make sure you pee first.

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