A lot nervous, a lot excited

I always thought I’d be one of those moms who stayed at home until the kid(s) went off to school.  That is, until a few months ago, when I started to see that Hannah needs to socialize with other kids more (instead of hitting them and stealing their toys), and be looked after by someone other than me, Aaron, or Grandma.  I think it would be a bit scary for her to suddenly go to school all day, 5 days a week after being with me 24/7 for the first 4 years of her life.  Bit of a shock to the system.  Not to mention she gets bored.  I get bored too.  Don’t get my wrong, I love my little baby (fine, toddler) so so so so so much that I might just burst, but I need to work my brain in ways other than trying to figure out how to change a nappy without getting poo on my  hands when legs and butt cheeks are flailing about.  Studies show that putting your child in quality child care after the age of 1 is actually beneficial.

I don’t want to put my cheeky little monkey into child care 5 days a week or anything like that, I just want to do 1, maybe 2 days a week.  Honestly, I want to do 1, but that seems to be an impossibility, so I’m going for 2.  Hannah can socialize, learn stuff, do crafts, respect the authority of someone who is not related to her, and I can get out of the house, use my brain before it turns to mush, and of course, earn some extra money to help pay off our car.

I’ve been looking at jobs online for a few weeks now.  There’s not a lot out there for someone who wants to work 1-2 days a week, but I’m persistent, and came across one that sounded good.  Ok, awesome.  I applied, got a response not more than 30 minutes later, and have an interview tomorrow.

Now for the problem:  I’m nervous.   Sure, I’m excited, but I’m SO nervous.  It’s been ages since I’ve had an interview, I’m out of practice on all work fronts (apart from nappy changing, baby bathing, baby entertaining and so forth), and I have to leave Hannah with Grandma while I’m more than a block away (way more).  When I’m nervous, something happens.  Something not so good.  Something embarrassing.  I sweat.  My armpits sweat.  My face sweats.  My feet sweat.  Sweat brings stink.  Stink brings strange looks.  Strange looks bring bad first impressions.  Bad first impressions bring failed job interviews.  I’ll have an hour on the train, being nervous, sweating, getting more nervous, sweating more.  By the time I get there, I’ll probably have giant wet patches under my arms, a face that resembles an oil slick, and smell like off onions. Not a good first impression.

“Hi, I’m …*Sniffs air* Do you smell something?”

“Oh, um… that’s just me… I’m a little nervous. *nervous giggle*”  Awkward silence.

Deep breath. Wish me luck!

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