Hannah the great

21 Jun










Time since birth: 11.5 months (she’s almost 1!!!)

Stopped at a stoplight on the way to drop Aaron off at the station, something on the vehicle in front of us caught my eye. I did a double take. The truck in front of us had testicles. That’s right, testicles. Why on earth someone would attach a pair of testicles to a vehicle is beyond me. Not only that, but why would someone design, manufacture, and sell such an item? Wouldn’t you be embarrassed to drive around with plastic testicles on your truck? When the light changed to green, the truck was off. The testicles started swaying back and forth at an alarming rate. Just like staring at a fire, I couldn’t take my eyes off them. Surely they are some sort of driving hazard as well as being super bogan-y. How could someone not look at a pair of plastic testicles vigorously swaying back and forth on a truck? Only in Penrith.

A couple of days later, stopped at the very same set of lights, but on the other side of the road, I saw something else one would only see in Penrith: there on the car in front of us was a sticker. “Vaginatarian.” Seriously, someone actually put that on their car? I bet the occupant of that car gets no dates. Maybe he gets dates, but then he brings them to his car to transport them to date spot, they see the sticker, think “wanker!” to themselves and then pretend to be sick and not go out with him.

There was so much work to be done when we moved in here. That was to be expected since we were moving in with a hoarder. Not like the I have to much trash I can’t find my pet cat kind of hoarder, but a hoarder none the less. I started with the kitchen. Looking in the cupboards, I found 2 toasters. Not to mention the one that was out and being used. I also found no less then 6 dinner sets, 2 different sandwich presses, and oh the list goes on. Grandma told me that her Mum always said “If you keep something for long enough, you’ll always find a use for it.” I guess that motto stuck with Grandma. Lucky for me, I coaxed her into getting rid of some of it. Otherwise there is no way our stuff would have fit in the cupboards at all. I found a cupboard full of platters, none of which I’d ever seen being used (and I used to live across the road from Grandma, so I was over a lot).
“Can I give this away Grandma?” I could see her mind working. “How long have you had it?”
“20 years.”
“how long since you’ve used it?”
“20 years. Ok, you can give it away.”

Next I started on the pantry. The pantry was choc-a-bloc full of stuff, most of which I thought rather questionable. I went through every single item in that pantry and checked every single expiration date. I actually found food that expired in 1992. That’s right, it was EIGHTEEN years out of date. I’m not sure which is more shocking, that there was food in there 18 years expired, or the fact the 1992 was 18 years ago. I’m getting old!

I can hear you screaming inside, “what about Hannah?!?! How is Hannah going, what is she doing?” She is GREAT! My little wonderful baby has been walking for a month now, and she is getting cheekier every single day. She has a little hand puppet with a duck on each finger that she loves to carry around and tell everyone that it is “DUCK!” We often ask her where duck is and she’ll stop what she is doing, look all around, locate it, yell “DUCK!” and then trot over and pick it up. I bought her a little (well, compared to her size, it’s big) purse to put some toys in and take with us when we go out. She loves to carry it around even when we’re at home. In fact, she doesn’t just like to walk around, she prefers to walk around while carrying something. Preferable something big and heavy like my purse or Aaron’s 1 litre water bottle full of water. Sometimes even the washing basket.

Everywhere we go, she wants all eyes on her. Hannah will squeal loudly until some random person in the supermarket looks at her, and then she will smile and bounce and giggle at them. One day a lady was talking on the phone when Hannah started her cheekiness, and the lady got so distracted by Hannah that she told the person on the other end of the phone that she would have to call them back as “this really cute baby keeps smiling and giggling at me and I just can’t think at the moment.” We went to a newcomers dinner at church the other night (we’re not really newcomers as we went to the same church for a long time last time we lived in this area, but I suppose we were away for 3 years), and once again Hannah was up the her mischief. Right when the minister was addressing everyone, telling people about the church, etc. Hannah decided that she wanted the spotlight instead. She kept walking up to people, getting them to look at her, and when they did, doing a really funny, loud, fake laugh while smiling. Of course everyone then looked at her, which only egged her on more. She is so cute though, how can you not laugh and smile when she does such things?

Now that this is the length of a novel, I’ll stop writing. But don’t worry, we have the internet now, so you will hear about the antics of Hannah every week.

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2 Responses to “Hannah the great”

  1. iShotThePilot October 25, 2010 at 3:12 pm #

    This blog is wonderful 🙂

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